


Blue Teapot

by songbvrd



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Human AU, Idiots in Love, M/M, No Proofreading We Die Like Men, POV Liam Dunbar, POV Theo Raeken, The Office AU, liam's engaged to someone else, pranks and ridiculousness, theo pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:09:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 61,026
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26988763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songbvrd/pseuds/songbvrd
Summary: Liam and Theo work together and are best friends.Theo is perfectly content with being just friends, right up until he realises Liam is engaged to Hayden.He's not sure why he cares, since they're just friends. At least, he thinks they're just friends.
Relationships: Liam Dunbar/Theo Raeken
Comments: 117
Kudos: 128





	1. I Wanna Be Your Favourite Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty, here we go! Another one! This is my first human AU so go easy on me! I'm taking bits and pieces from The Office (specifically Jim and Pam) but it will also incorporate a lot of things more specific to the two of them and the fandom. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy! This was more just setting the scene than anything!

Theo hated his job. Or at the very least, he hated parts of it. He hated the way his boss tried so hard to befriend him. He hated the way some of his coworkers were too. Unfriendly or just kind of odd. He hated the office itself, and how he had to share a desk with someone he wasn’t particularly friends with.

There were a few things he didn’t hate though. Pranking his desk mate, for a start. It really wasn’t his fault. Stiles had been rude to him from the jump and Theo figured maybe he could do with a laugh. Or being knocked down a peg.

It was never anything too mean. Hiding his phone in the roof. Locking him in the meeting room. Setting his desk supplies in jelly. 

It didn’t hurt when Stiles inevitably got annoyed with him, because part of Theo felt like this was part of a game. A weird, unwitting friendship that had formed in these moments. Stiles got him back most times, usually in worse ways, so he figured it couldn’t be so bad.

But really, the thing he liked most about his job was the receptionist. 

Liam hated the job as much as he did, that much was apparent. But the blue-eyed receptionist was smart, probably more so than him in some ways. Not that Theo was winning any great points for his begrudging role as a salesman. He was good at it, sure, and he and Stiles made a good team on sales calls, but he wasn’t doing it out of passion. He’d walked into this job thinking he’d be there a year tops, just until he saved up some money and at this point, he’d been there seven years. At 25, he felt like he could see his future plans slipping away. 

It was funny though, Theo had actually hated Liam when he started there. He couldn’t pin down why. 

The kid was obnoxiously optimistic. He was two years younger than Theo, and had started when he was twenty and Theo was twenty-two. He’d seemed way too chipper to Theo, who was only lazily making it through days at that point. 

He’d immediately taken to their boss, Scott, and Theo had spent years avoiding the eager manager. He’d made friends with others quickly too; Corey, the customer service rep; Mason, the accountant. Even he and Stiles seemed to get along.

It wasn’t that Theo didn’t like those people either, it was that Theo was always sort of aloof. Mostly people are up his cool guy thing — and some here did too — but not all. While Mason, Corey and Stiles seemed never to really take to him, they had liked Liam immediately.

Liam seemed to really want Theo to like him too, and that had only annoyed Theo more. Too much energy( too much bounce. 

But time and the monotony of their office had worn on Liam too, and he’d settled down pretty quick. It wasn’t until Theo saw Liam drawing that he really took specific notice of him in a positive way. 

“Is that me?” Theo had asked, brown knitting together.

Liam had looked embarrassed, chuckled nervously. “Yeah. I sort of draw everyone in the office. Job’s not that demanding most of the time and you’re directly in my line of sight.” He explained, nodding in the direction of Theo’s currently unoccupied desk. “You can have it, if you want.”

Theo had agreed, if only because the drawing was actually really good, and no one had ever drawn him before. But after that, Theo went by reception more and more every day to see what Liam was drawing. Sometimes it was him, sometimes it was Stiles. Sometimes it was none of them at all, something he’d found on his computer or in his life. He was always pretty shy about it, which was an interesting contrast to his normal… bounciness. 

One day, Theo had come upon Liam drawing Hayden. He knew her vaguely, she worked as the downstairs warehouse manager and Theo didn’t really like her much. 

There was nothing wrong with her per se, but they’d always had too much dead air between them, never really knowing what to say to each other. 

And so Theo got to watch his new friend fall in love with a girl. It was sort of endearing, he’d draw her more and more. Though admittedly, Theo sort of missed seeing what he looked like through Liam’s eyes.

But day after day, they’d gotten closer. Now, three years into working together, Theo would hazard to call Liam his best friend. They would send IMs back and forth on the computer, eat lunch together in the break room. Liam once briefly convinced Stiles he was being recruited by the FBI, which Theo had to pay as a good prank. 

He didn’t know if Liam felt the same about him, considered him a best friend, but when he stole a glance that way at only 10:30am (god, these days dragged), he couldn’t help but smile at Liam’s puzzled expression. Scott was talking to him and Theo couldn’t hear what about, but judging by his face it was probably kind of ridiculous. 

Only kind of tempted to ignore it and go back to work, Theo got to his feet, hands in the pockets of his cheap work suit and walked over to them. “Scott McCall,” He greeted, figuring he’d save Liam from whatever was going on here. 

“Teddy bear!” 

Theo grimaced. This was why he ignored Scott most of the time. Or kept him at arm’s length. He could tend to be very… familiar. Lots of nicknames, many awkward moments. Scott just wanted to be friends, Theo knew that. But he could be a lot sometimes and Theo wasn’t really looking to make a new best friend here, he just wanted to do his job.

Liam was the one and only exception. Actually, that wasn’t exactly true. He was kind of friends with Derek, who used to be a warehouse manager but now worked upstairs. But other than that… he wasn’t particularly keen on any of them. 

“Scott was just telling me how he’s thinking of planning a Casino Night. To raise money for… what charity was it again?” 

“Gambling addictions.” Scott answered keenly.

Theo could see it now. Why Liam had looked so puzzled before. 

“Isn’t that…” Did he really want to do this? “Never mind,” He shook his head. 

“Apparently I’m going to scout supplies. It seems kind of early but…” Liam trailed off.

“Never too early to plan a party. And I need to talk to corporate and make sure they’ll give us funding for it, y’know? Plus, we need you to get some quotes on karaoke machines and poker tables.” 

“I could go with.” Theo offered. He realised he sounded a little too excited, and he cleared his throat. “I mean, just to make sure Liam can get everything back here without having to make a million trips.”

Scott shot him a suspicious look, but then smiled. “Good idea. Glad you’re trying to get involved, Theodore Roosevelt.” Theo winced, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. 

When Scott walked off, Liam raised his brows. “Would you rather go on your own?” Theo challenged.

Liam conceded with a nod. “Thanks. Don’t you have like, actual shit to do though?”

Theo shrugged and grabbed his suit jacket off the hook, moving towards the door. A day with just his friend out of office sounded perfect actually, Theo was sick of staring at him from a distance.

Not that he actually stared— he did his work and all, it was just that the day was less boring when they were making faces at each other. Or when Liam was throwing popcorn over the space between them to try to get it into Theo’s mouth. Or when Theo faked dead and Liam had to jokingly come revive him. 

Stiles acted like it annoyed him, but Theo was pretty sure he was happy for the distraction too. Especially since he and Liam were actually friends, even if he and Theo weren’t. 

So that was what they did at the shops too. Run around like teenagers, picking up ugly bits of clothing and innocently suggesting the other try it on. Picking up children’s toys and asking if they should buy it to add to the collection of action figures on Stiles’ desk. 

Theo noted that it was unfair Liam’s skin still looked good in the harsh outlet mall lighting and Liam threw a piece of popcorn chicken at him, as if it had been a joke, though it hadn’t. 

He just thought it was genuinely sort of remarkable to be able to look good in these places. Everyone looked weird and washed out. 

They bet over who could get to the smoothie place first and Theo paid for Liam’s drink when he inevitably won. 

All in all, Theo would much rather be here than at their shitty job, in the shitty air conditioning, trying to get the shitty copier to work. Technically copying was Liam’s job, but Theo hated asking him to do something for him at work. It felt wrong. 

“Do you think this party will even end up happening?” Liam finally asked him as they walked through a party store, looking around for things that might be good for the theme Scott had been intending to use.

Theo shrugged, “Depends on whether corporate agrees to let him do it, I guess. It’ll happen in some form, it might just be all of us in the conference room eating poker chip themed cupcakes Kira made.” 

Liam nodded slowly, “That sounds so much better.”

Theo glanced up and, noticing the intercom attached to the wall they passed, he shot Liam a challenging smile. “Dare you to say something over the speakers.” He said.

Liam glanced up at him, a twinkle in his eyes, and grinned. “Watch me.”

Theo had expected him to chicken out, but no, Liam pulled the phone thing from the wall, clearing his throat and speaking into it.

“Could Peter please come to the front of the store? Your doctor called with information about your erectile dystunction and apparently it’s extremely urgent. I can read it out to you if you don’t get here quickly, I just don’t want you to go without knowing this important informa--” 

An employee came running up to them and had the speaker out of Liam’s hands within moments. Theo was basically crying from laughter and the two were promptly kicked from the store, but Theo was just glad Liam had done it. 

What had seemed like an extremely boring day had taken a fun twist and he hadn’t even had to spend the day messing with Stiles to get them there. Still, this was why they got along. Liam didn’t judge him for his bullshit, but instead joined in with it. Even one-upped him sometimes. This had been a particularly fun example of that. 

It was a few hours before they headed back to the office, drawing the day out for as long as they could, reluctant to go back to the office. When they did, it was nearly four and Theo didn’t particularly want to go back to his desk and deal with Stiles accusing him of wasting office time.

He dropped flatly back into his chair as they arrived, glancing up again only when an IM came through on his computer.

“Can you hear back into the annexe? Nolan’s getting his ear talked off by Kira.” 

Theo glanced up at Liam and then listened carefully, before smiling. 

“Guess we’re not the only ones who didn’t get shit done today.” Theo wrote back, flashing a smile in the direction of the desk.

“What are you saying about me?” Stiles interjected. “Whenever you two start smirking like that, you’re saying something about me.”

That wasn’t even a little true, but Theo let Stiles believe it, content to let that be a little bit of a prank in and of itself. 

“None of your business.” Theo said quickly. When Stiles got to his feet and came around his side to see his screen, Theo waited till the last second to close the chat, letting him think he was hiding some evidence.

“I swear to god, Theo, if you like… shave my head or ruin my suit or something, I’m going to actually murder you.” 

“First of all, destruction of property isn’t my thing. And shaving your head is a cliche. Come on, I’m a little more original than that.”

He levelled a glare at Theo, who just smiled brightly back.

“Come here,” The IM popped up and Theo got to his feet, abandoning a clearly annoyed look from Stiles in favour of leaning over Liam’s reception desk to what he was pointing at. Looking at the screen, Theo grinned when he saw what Liam was going. It was an image of Stiles, made out of smaller images of Scott. Stiles was always following Scott around and it was something of a joke how close the two were, how joined at the hip, so Theo couldn’t help the grin on his face.

“Perfect,” He whispered, so as not to be totally overheard, “But I think Stiles should be making a different face. Like the one he did when I took all the screws out of his chair before he sat.” 

Liam let out a quiet giggle, nodding his head. “Next project. Maybe I’ll make a comic of it or something,” He suggested halfheartedly, and Theo nodded.

“What else have you been drawing?” He asked. He knew Liam drew quick, that the often rough sketches could be a few a day or could be one over a week, depending on what he was doing. Liam spread out the pages on his desk and Theo could see bits and pieces. Scott, grinning at him with his lopsided chin. It was nice. Theo knew Liam never showed them the pictures, but he sort of wished he would-- he was sure Scott would just about pop a blood vessel from excitement. Stiles, sitting on Scott’s desk and grinning proudly about being the second in command. Mason and Corey, looking at each other while standing over the coffee (they thought they were subtle, but everyone knew). Theo, grinning brightly in a way Theo rarely did while at work. Hayden, sitting in a garden with messily curled hair folding around her face. That one wasn’t from work, which set Theo’s teeth on edge, though he couldn’t place why.

He was staring down at the picture when a voice broke him from his thoughts. 

“Do you guys ever do any work?” Hayden asked as she approached, leaning down on the desk beside Theo, making him move back quickly. He had been leaning too close to Liam, he realised, though he wasn’t sure why that should matter. They were just friends and he was just looking at the drawings, one of which was of him. 

“Nope,” Liam answered proudly, shooting a wave towards Mason, who was leaving for the afternoon. 

“It’s actually a kind of skill--” Theo began, trying to make conversation with the two of them, though he always found he had no idea what to say around Hayden. He was distracted, though, when he caught sight of something. The shiny diamond ring on Hayden’s finger. 

His breathing caught. 

“What’s that?” He asked.

He regretted it instantly, it sounded invasive and… honestly, a little annoyed, though he couldn’t place why he would be. He had nothing against Hayden, really, he just didn’t actively like her as a person. 

“Oh, yeah. About that--” Liam began, looking at Hayden with a small smile.

“Holy shit!” Stiles’ voice cut through Liam’s explanation, clearly having just noticed the same thing that Theo himself had. Theo jumped, not having realised Stiles had even approached the conversation. “Congratulations, man!” He moved around the desk, grabbing Liam into a hug.

The rest of the office’s attention was piqued, even Mason, who apparently hadn’t gotten all the way out the door before hearing what happened. Everyone liked Liam, he was realising as they all came over to give their congratulations to the happy couple. 

Theo himself couldn’t find words. He waited for everyone else to speak up, to fill the silence, waited for them to say their piece. Everyone kept saying how great they were together, how cute. How they would be so happy. How they wanted an invite to the wedding. How they wanted to know how soon it was going to be. They wanted to know all the details of how Liam did it. 

Theo didn’t want any of that information. He didn’t want to know about his best friend getting married. He couldn’t say why, he wanted him to be happy of course. Liam deserved to be happy.

He just… didn’t get it. They didn’t seem right for each other. Theo vividly recalled how Hayden had once told him: “I’m glad he talks to you all day, he gets all the talking out before we head home.” 

Theo remembered vividly that he had been so annoyed at that moment. He didn’t understand why anyone wouldn’t want to talk to Liam? He was hilarious. He was really, really nice. Talented. He even had ambitions, though none of them lay within their dumb company. He was a good guy and he had a lot to offer in conversation; insight and humour and empathy and passion. Theo couldn’t understand why his own girlfriend -- fiance -- would be bored of anything he had to say. 

Liam was too busy hugging others to notice Theo’s silence, but that was fine, because Theo knew he would have to pretend to be happy.

What he didn’t know was why he wasn’t? He wasn’t in their relationship. They were clearly happy. And why did it matter to him anyway? They were just work friends.

Finally, people started to filter out, one by one. Until it was just the two of them, Stiles and Hayden. Stiles and Hayden walked out together towards their cars, Liam promising to follow as soon as he got all his stuff into his bag.

Then it was just them and Theo realised he was going to have to say something.

Neither spoke for a moment. 

“So... what did you think of the ring?” Liam finally asked.

“Great choice, man.” He forced a light tone into his voice, “I’m surprised you could afford it on our salaries.” Theo knew his was higher, but his wasn’t much, so he couldn’t imagine Liam’s was either. He must’ve been saving up forever. The thought made Theo’s stomach twist. 

“Yeah,” Liam laughed. “Been saving up forever, dude. Gonna be struggling to make rent for a bit, but… that’s okay,” He smiled a little and Theo wanted to look away. He couldn’t meet his eyes like this. 

“How come you didn’t tell me earlier?” Theo hadn’t even known he was going to ask the question until it was already out.

“Uh… I don’t know,” Liam spoke quietly. “I guess… I don’t know. I just didn’t think about it. Sorry…” He seemed unsure, and Theo felt bad for putting him on the spot.

He stared for a second, meeting Liam’s blue eyes, which seemed to be searching his for something. Theo had no idea what, but he was pretty sure he didn’t want Liam to find it. 

“We should go. Hayden’ll be waiting for you.” Theo said, his voice slightly too loud.

“Um… yeah, you’re right.” He said quickly. They began walking and they caught the lift down in dead silence.

“So, I’ll… see you tomorrow, I guess.” Liam offered finally.

“Yeah. See you tomorrow.” Something was weird, and honestly, Theo couldn’t really tell what had just happened. He just wanted to be on normal terms with his friend again. Maybe Liam just felt overwhelmed with everyone finding out.

Theo got into his car and no matter how hard he tried, all the way home, all he could think of was Liam’s eyes and his drawing of Hayden amongst the flowers.


	2. I Wanna Be The One That Makes Your Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo begins to realise that maybe he and Liam aren't just friends.
> 
> They prank Stiles and his resentment towards Hayden and their relationships only builds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Some thoughts.   
> 1st - I'm sorry about the portrayal of Hayden. It's less about how I think she actually is and more the parallel to the character Roy in The Office. For the purposes of this fic, she's, at the very least, not the right person for Liam.  
> 2nd - This feels like it's going to end up being a far longer fic than I intended, so I apologise in advance if I keep upping the amount of Chapters. I promise I'll try to make them good, fun and angsty.  
> 3rd - I really hope you like it :)

Theo woke up and immediately regretted the realisation that he had dreamt of Liam. Of Liam and Hayden and their wedding. Of Theo, sitting somewhere off in the corner, watching it happen.

Until he had seen the ring, Theo had truly thought them being together didn’t bother him at all. Even now, he couldn’t exactly figure out what was bothering him.

Maybe it was that he thought he was going to lose his best friend. Maybe it was that he didn’t understand what he was getting out of that relationship. Maybe it was that Liam had a tendency of complaining to him about the flaws in their relationship -- he supposed that was a best friend duty. But Liam had a tendency to lean on him, and honestly, Theo’d always kind of liked it. It had always made him feel… trusted. Close.

It also made him feel kind of resentful, he was realising. Not at Liam. It wasn’t like Liam was using him or anything, he’d complain about his own life just as much.

It was just that… from everything that Theo had heard about Liam and Hayden’s relationship, he didn’t… get why Liam was part of it at all. Why there was anything about that that he wanted? 

He put on his clothes and he thought. He brushed his teeth and he thought. He dried his hair off and he thought. He thought about Liam and how annoying he’d found him at first. He thought about Hayden and how she always sort of acted like Liam was annoying her. About how she had dragged her feet with their relationship. About how she acted about him when her friends were around. It was awkward, and he was pretty sure it contributed a lot to how shy Liam was with anything he was passionate about.

He just seemed… different when she was around. Honestly, Theo hated it. He hated when she came up to join them for lunch. He hated when he tried to talk to her and she seemed just not to want to be there. He hated how dismissive she was of the art Liam did. 

Slowly, he was realising he just hated her. And really, though he didn’t think she was good enough for Liam, she hadn’t done anything to him. She was just… 

She was the reason Liam didn’t draw him as much anymore. She was the reason he got that sad smile on sometimes when she said something particularly dismissive or insensitive in front of him.

It might not be obvious to most, but Theo knew Liam was sensitive. He knew that it hurt him when she made out like their relationship was nothing. Like she was still just a single girl floating around amongst her friends. 

At some point in all his thinking, Theo had made his way into the office, dropped into his seat, and was staring blankly at the logo of his work computer background. Normally, he already had some prank planned, or at least an idea for something for the future. But right now? He just felt concern.

Because the more he thought, the more stupid he felt.

He hadn’t hated Liam when he had met him, he had had a crush on him. He had felt nervous and scared and jealous and he had never got done feeling all of those things. Only, as time went on, his general affection for the boy had outweighed his own fear and awkwardness. Over time, he’d found it harder to ignore. Over time, he’d found himself living for the moments when he could glance up and catch Liam’s blue eyes. For the times when he’d hear, “Dunder Mifflin, this is Liam.” 

He hated it, and he hated that he’d been so stupid as to not know, but it was what it was. It was too late, he had Hayden, and all Theo could do was try to be a good best friend. Try to be what Liam needed him to be. At least for now.

Theo was broken from his thoughts when Scott and Liam walked into the office, Scott talked in a hushed, concerned voice. Theo’s brows furrowed, confusion filling up his features. Then he saw the boot on Liam’s leg and it made sense. Scott was going slow with him to make sure he’d gotten up the stairs safely. For once, Theo was really glad to see his boss coming in to work. 

As soon as Scott parted from Liam, leaving him at his desk, Theo got to his feet, and leaned down over the desk. “What’s going on, Dunbar?” He asked affectionately. “Since when do you need Scott to carry you up the stairs?”

“Oh, it’s so stupid,” Liam shook his head, looking embarrassed, “I was hanging out with Hayden and Val and we were running around and I slipped and fell down the stairs,” He frowned down at his ankles. “It’s just twisted, but I have to wear this boot for like a week,” He shook his head mournfully and Theo frowned down at him.

“Can I interest you in some prank ideas to make you feel better?” He began, a hopeful smile pulling at his face. That was the name of the game for Theo, and now that he knew, he couldn’t un-know. He would do anything to make the boy happier.

Liam sat forward, his eyes brightening. “Absolutely you can.” Theo grinned brightly in response to how interested Liam looked. 

“Okay, so… I don’t know if you noticed, but Stiles is working in the conference room.” Liam’s blue eyes flicked up to glance to the conference room, to see him sitting on the seat inside, clearly working on something, bits of paper taped to the walls. He was always so dramatic, always doing something far too huge for what their paper company ever needed. Theo’s numbers were equally as good as his and he put in about a quarter of the effort. Then again, Theo and Stiles had been sales partners for many years at this point. They had started together at twenty, and while Theo was all laziness and getting by, Stiles actually wanted to move up in the company. He and Scott became close friends instantly and Stiles clearly wanted to impress him with his skills. In truth, Theo didn’t think he had much to worry about at all.

“Okay…?” Liam agreed quietly, staring ahead.

“Okay.” Theo repeated, before turning off quickly, running into the room, grabbing Stiles’ keys, running back out of the room and locking the doors quickly before Stiles even had time to react. As soon as he did, Stiles banged on the glass of the conference room, staring out.

“Theo, for fuck sake, let me out!” Theo could hear Liam laughing. “This isn’t funny, I have work to do!” 

Theo blinked at him, before pointing back at all his work things in the room and moving to sit on his own chair, his back to the conference room and to Stiles, still banging on the glass behind them.

In theory, any manner of Derek, Lydia, Scott, Liam, Mason, Corey, Kira, Malia, Nolan or Alec could have let him out. The keys were still in the door and Stiles wasn’t quiet, but nobody moved. Everyone went on with their calls, smiles on their faces as they did. Nobody glanced up. After a moment, Theo’s phone rang and he answered it.

“Theo Raeken speaking.” He greeted, identifying himself. He knew who was calling, of course.

“Theo, let me out of the room.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His voice was calm, easygoing, as if Stiles were a client calling him. 

“Theo, I--” His phone beeped, letting him know he had another call.

“Sorry, Stiles, I have to take this.” He hit the button to take the second call. “Theo Raeken speaking.”

“Hi Theo.” Liam’s amused, playful voice met his and he briefly glanced up to see him smiling in Theo’s direction, a little giddy as they always were when they were doing a prank together. “I was wondering whether you wanted coffee? I’m thinking of making a run soon, but I wasn’t sure whether you’d want it.”

“Oh, hi, Dunbar,” He said the words fondly, a grin pulling at his lips. “You know, I would really love a coffee, I was thinking of going out myself, so I could even keep you company--” 

He was cut off by Scott’s entrance from his own office, which was directly beside the conference room, meaning there was no way he’d missed any of this. Meaning he was choosing to go along with it. 

Before he could speak, Theo and Liam both raised one of their arms. They were a good twenty metres from each other, but they still mimicked high fiving from that distance, something they’d been doing for years now. Theo watched as that bright smile pulled across Liam’s face and he remembered why he did all this. Why he did these pranks, why he stayed working here, why he came in here in a good mood most days. Liam’s smile.

“Alright guys, stop being so silly.” He turned the key in the door, letting Stiles out, who gave Theo an angry glare before returning to his desk, though all his work was still in the conference room. “We have a game to win.” 

Theo blinked in surprise. “What do you mean?” He asked, immediately concerned about where this was going.

“So, someone has to work this weekend. Either us, or the warehouse guys.” Theo knew Scott didn’t mean anything by his language, except that there was always sort of a divide between them and the warehouse people. They were their own little gang, and Theo had always sort of felt like they wanted nothing to do with the upstairs people. Then again, maybe that was because Theo had always gotten the feeling that Hayden didn’t like how close he was to her fiance. “To settle it, we’re going to play basketball in the warehouse tomorrow. Six on six.” 

Theo grimaced because he immediately knew where it was going. “Theo, Derek. Obviously you will join the team.” 

“Theo?” Stiles interjected, “I’m way better than him.” It was their playful rivalry more than anything, since there was no way that was true. Stiles was uncoordinated at the best of times, and Theo had played some basketball in high school. 

“Uh… we might put you as a sub.” Scott offered awkwardly, before adding. “Mason, Corey, Nolan? You any good?” 

Theo vaguely wondered why he was asking them. Maybe for the sake of including everyone, since he was fairly certain Mason had no interest in trying to catch and throw a basketball and he doubted Corey would elect to play instead of hang out with Mason and be able to make it look casual. Nolan didn’t really elect to be too involved in anything if he had the chance to stay out of it, even being relatively isolated back in the annexed part of the office with Kira and Corey. 

When all three graciously bowed out, Scott turned to the others, seeming much more excited. “Malia, Kira?” Absolutely, they were far more athletically inclined than the three guys. 

“A chance to beat up the warehouse people? Absolutely.” She nodded seriously, no hint of irony. Malia had always been blunt, and he was sure she noticed the divide he did too. Like they were weak somehow because they were in an office rather than lifting boxes around. Even though Theo was pretty sure he was the strongest of the lot of them.

“I’m in.” Kira added brightly.

“Great!” Scott beamed.

“That still only leaves us with a five person team though. Me, Derek, Theo, Kira and Malia.” He glanced mournfully at Liam, who couldn’t play with his boot, but was easily the best athlete of the office people. It was funny, really, he didn’t seem it from his personality. He usually seemed pretty centred and shy, at times understated. Maybe that was just his work persona though. He certainly was more outgoing when it was just him and Theo. 

“Sorry, Scott.” Liam said quietly, raising his shoulders in a shrug. 

“That’s okay. Maybe you can be our cheerleader. Wear bootie shorts and a crop top.” It was clearly meant to be a joke from Scott, but Liam still looked uncomfortable and Theo cringed a bit.

“Well, my fiance is playing for the other team, so maybe not…” He responded awkwardly, barely acknowledging the weird undertone of it all. “But uh, I happen to know that Nolan is actually a really good basketball player.” He beamed at the taller boy, who seemed to shy away somewhat.

Theo knew Nolan had a crush on Liam. It had been obvious since Nolan had started only a year or two before. But Liam had been well and truly with Hayden then and anyway, Theo didn’t even know if Liam was interested in guys. 

Theo wasn’t threatened by Nolan in any way, but he sort of felt bad for them. They were both just saps caught in the blue-eyed boys orbit. 

He’d joked about it to Liam before, who’d brushed it off saying Theo was just teasing him or imagining things.

Evidently, Liam had no idea the effect he could have. 

He wondered, maybe more bitterly than he cared to admit, whether it was Liam’s low self esteem that kept him with someone who didn’t act like they loved him as much as they should.

Nolan seemed shy, but Scott was excited. He’d happily added Nolan to his line up, making their team Theo, Derek, Scott, Malia, Kira and Nolan. Everyone else would come to watch too. Liam couldn’t help thinking maybe them having to work overtime wouldn’t be such a big issue if they didn’t do shit like this so often, but he welcomed the opportunity to do fun things. To spend time with Liam. A part of him wanted to verse Hayden. A part of him just wanted to beat her. It wouldn’t change anything. It wouldn’t make Liam see him any differently. But he still wanted it, in some petty, bitter way.

Then Scott was off, excitedly bickering with Stiles about it all and Theo was making his way over to the reception desk again. He was leaning back down against it, grinning down at Liam, who grinned back up at him.

“So. Guess I’m about to kick your girlfriend’s ass in basketball.” He teased.

“Fiance.” Right. “And I don’t think so. You know, she’s super competitive and also really strong and fast. She wants to go to the beach with me and her friends. So I think that’s what’ll be happening.”

“You know,” Theo began in a teasing tone, leaning down closer over Liam’s desk. “I was thinking I might go to the library and out for lunch on Saturday. You should come with me. We can find new books to read.”

Liam’s own teasing smirk lit up his face, “See, I would, but I think you’ll be here. Working. And since the desk won’t be open, I think I’ll be at the beach. Sorry.” His teasing, nearly flirtatious tone was unintentional on his part, Theo was sure, but some part of him couldn’t help but get his hopes up. They were just friends, but Liam clearly enjoyed being with him. He clearly liked messing around with him. Theo just wished that were enough. 

“We’ll see about that. I think I’m going to be seeing you at the library. I’ll even buy you lunch.”

Liam went to answer, but they were cut off by Hayden. She was sounding particularly less chipper than usual when she spoke. “You making a move on my man, Raeken?” 

She played it off as a joke, but Theo could hear it. The tone. The seriousness. He practically jumped back away from the desk, eyes fluttering awkwardly. 

“We were just talking about the basketball game.” Liam said easily.

Hayden dropped down into his lap and Theo suddenly felt like he needed to look away. Like he wasn’t supposed to be here. He glanced back to see Hayden kissing Liam and he winced. It was a workplace, for god sake. Still, he figured this was his fault. That Hayden was doing this because of him. 

He felt like he’d been caught out, even though he wasn’t actually doing anything wrong. He grabbed his things as quickly as he could, practically jogging out the door without so much as a goodbye. It didn’t matter, the two of them were lost in their conversations. 

Theo left, more determined than ever to win the game the following day.


	3. The One You Think About As You Lie Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo plays basketball with the team.
> 
> When all goes wrong, Theo ends up confiding in Scott, much to his own surprise.
> 
> Theo realises he's in far deeper than he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I'm never sure if these are terrible, but I really hope you guys like it! I upped the chapters to 10, because I planned everything out and realised that format would work better! Hope you guys will stick with me on this lil journey!
> 
> If you don't watch the office, I would quietly suggest you look up the layout of the office and specifically Liam's (Pam's) receptionist desk in relation to Theo's (Jim's) as I think it'll make it a bit clearer visually!

Everything was seeming like a worse idea in the light of the morning. Agreeing to play basketball against Liam’s fiance. Agreeing to play at all. 

He was pretty sure he already knew who would be on the team. Jackson. Tracy. Brett. Danny. Isaac. That just left Hayden. 

Part of Theo really wanted to fight Hayden in this game. Part of him really wanted to see her lose. But another part of him knew he was speaking from an anger he didn’t have any right to feel. Part of him felt like he was being selfish for even thinking any of this. 

He kept trying to convince himself he didn’t actually feel anything for Liam. He was just jealous and lonely and wanted to keep his best friend. It was nothing.

He kept on with that energy as he walked into the building. It was nothing. It was nothing. It was nothing.

“You ready to win today?” Scott’s voice broke through and Theo smiled hesitantly at him. 

“I mean, I guess.”

“You guess? Get pumped, Raeken! Get ready to destroy them! Get ready to tear them apart!” Scott’s excitement was weirdly infectious; and Theo found himself actually laughing. These were the times he did actually like Scott as a person. He wasn’t so bad. Theo supposed he was just grumpy at times and he never knew quite how to handle his excitement. 

“Probably don’t break them apart.” A voice cut through, and Theo turned to see Liam’s face. He was smiling, but he looked mildly nervous about Scott’s competitive streak pulling through them. “I still need a fiance to put in the very expensive wedding dress we bought.” 

Theo’s excitement crumbled away like it had never been there at all. Very expensive wedding dress. How could they even afford this? How had they planned so much in such a short time?

Theo went quiet, but Scott filled in for him. He could vaguely hear them talking, but he couldn’t actually focus on what they were saying to each other. As he ascended the stairs into the office, all he could think of was this stupid game. He had fitness clothes in the bag slung over his shoulder, but he was still wearing his suit for the moment. Still, Theo almost never wore the jacket, his sleeves always folded up to his elbows.

For the first time almost in years, Theo didn’t go to Liam’s desk at the beginning of the day. Instead, he went to his own, glancing over at Stiles’ desk. He’d forgotten about one of the pranks he’d been doing for ages, so he figured now was the time. 

He’d been slowly filling Stiles’ handset work phone with nickels on the inside, till it was full, now all he had to do was take them out. He leaned over, quickly doing so before anyone else would see. He emptied the nickels back into his desk drawer, which was full of crap anyway and waited.

Inevitably, when Stiles came into work, Theo called his work line, watching as Stiles went to pick it up and -- expecting the wait of the nickels -- hit himself smack in the face with it. Theo let out a ring of laughter, basically a snort, and when he glanced back, he caught Liam staring at him, trying to figure out what had just happened.

Theo caught Liam staring at him often, but he figured it was because he was zoning out and Theo was directly in front of him. 

The day rolled on and Theo and Stiles niggled at each other constantly throughout the day, some getting more annoyed than others by the way they snapped back and forth at each other. Mostly, people just seemed amused. Theo was pretty sure everyone knew it was more joking than serious. In a weird way, they were friends. They were just incredibly competitive, stupid friends.

By the time lunch came around and they were getting ready to play the game, Stiles was suddenly Theo’s best friends, clapping his hands on the other salesman’s shoulders and speaking intensely in Theo’s ear, which made him squirm.

“You have to fucking win this.” He hissed, “I still hate you, but I hate the warehouse people more. They always make fun of me.” That didn’t really surprise Theo. He was pretty sure they all made fun of all of them. Except maybe Liam, because he was like a weird link between the two groups. 

Theo sighed and got to his feet. He got changed, went downstairs and stood in the warehouse, waiting for things to get sorted. He tried not to look when Hayden greeted Liam with a kiss, and tried not to be annoyed when a few of their friends -- Scott included -- made joking little whoops. 

He was getting more and more annoyed, more and more determined to win. 

Then Hayden approached him and shoved his shoulder as she passed. It was joking, but Theo always felt like there was some weird unspoken tension between them. This was no different. It felt like it was supposed to look like a joke, but like it wasn’t one. 

Finally, Theo dropped down onto a seat by the side of their makeshift court, leaning down to make sure his shoes were tied. After a moment, Liam sat down beside him, patting his forearm. “You excited?” He asked.

Theo shrugged, “Excited for the library on Saturday? Yeah, I really am.” He said with a slow grin. 

“Pick it up, Raeken!” A voice yelled, and he glanced up to see Hayden bouncing from foot to foot. 

That about did it. Theo really, really wanted to win.

He was paired against Jackson, which was fine. He’d never liked Jackson, the guy had always been quite blunt and rude. But the game began to get into it and it seemed like some of them were actually good. But mostly, the game seemed to have become dominated by Hayden and Theo. The others would occasionally go for a shot, either get it or miss, but it was the two of them that ended up sinking the majority of the hoops. 

As it went along, their glares got more pointed, and at some point, Scott suggested Theo cover Hayden instead of Jackson. Theo was barely paying any attention to the others anyway, except when he needed to. His attention was fully focused on winning. Fully focused on stopping her from winning.

She’d already won enough. 

Then it started to get more and more pushy. More than once, she shoved Theo out of the way hard enough to knock him off his feet. He glanced back at Liam each time, embarrassed and sort of annoyed, to see him watching worriedly, an almost apologetic look on his face. 

But Theo didn’t want to get into that. He wasn’t trying to fight anyone. He was just trying to win a game. It was an emotional victory, he didn’t want to hurt her. 

Still, she was getting more heated, more competitive and the spectators were yelling (particularly the ones from their upstairs section) and Theo was getting more and more desperate to win, if only because he felt like she was playing dirty. 

Theo had the ball and he was dribbling. He made a sharp turn towards the hoop, to take the shot, when he felt his elbow collide with someone. Hard.

Hayden fell back onto the ground and Theo’s eyes widened. He had never been intending to do that-- he hadn’t realised she was even so close. 

“Holy shit,” Theo bent down to offer a hand to her, to help her up, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise you were there!” He started, which was more than she had given him. She got to her feet without taking his hand, then shoved past him, making sure to bump his shoulder hard as she did.

She walked off to the bathroom, evidently to check if she was okay? Or maybe just out of anger? Either way, the game was over, well and truly. They had been tied, so there was no clear winner.

Theo kept on apologising as she exited the place, but she didn’t acknowledge him. 

Liam got up and followed after her, ignoring Theo just as completely. 

Everyone else filtered off, the room suddenly feeling awkward and devoid of air. Theo was still covered in sweat, breathing heavily, concern and guilt drenching him. All that bullshit and they hadn’t even won. And now Liam was off taking care of her.

Theo turned and walked off the other way from everyone else, leaving the warehouse and going out into the parking lot. He walked around the office building until he got to the little garden they had planted. It wasn’t much, but it was nicer than sitting in his car. There was a little garden bench there and Theo dropped onto it, letting his head fall into his hands, folded over himself.

He sat there alone for at least twenty minutes, before Scott came out to see him. He had changed back into his work clothes and for once, he wasn’t just a complete bundle of energy. 

“Are you okay?” He asked. Theo took a deep breath. He wasn’t really. And not just because he hadn’t won. Because this had never really been about winning and he knew it. But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter whether he won the game or not, because he had still lost. 

“Does it matter?” Theo answered grumpily, staring at the ground through his hands.

“I mean, yeah. Yeah, it does.”

He took a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m fine, I just… I just really wanted to win.”

“Well, we only even got close because of you…” Scott attempted quietly. “Look, it’s fine. Everybody knows you didn’t mean to hit her or anything, it was clearly an accident and--” 

“It’s not that.” Theo said quickly.

“Then what is it?”

“I can’t…” Theo ran a hand over his face. “Scott, I can’t talk about this…” 

Scott started rambling about how Theo could trust him, about how he wanted him to be okay, but Theo was just zoned out. Would Liam be angry at him now? Would something change? Would it even matter? Things had already changed. Liam loved her. He was marrying her. They’d bought a dress. He was planning a wedding with her. He was going to have a real life with her. It wasn’t a competition, because Theo had never even been in his eyeline. Not like she had. 

“Is it Hayden?” Theo glanced up at Scott, shaken from his thoughts by his boss’s words. “Do you like, have feelings for her or something?”

Theo had no idea how Scott had gotten there, but he had no idea how Scott had gotten to this being romantic in any way at all.

“What? No.” Theo frowned, “Why would you think that?”

Scott blinked a few times, as if he felt guilty, but was surprised. “I don’t know. You were super into the game, which isn’t like you, and you seemed totally focused on her and Liam.” 

Theo sighed, “Because of Liam.”

“Oh?” He asked, before the penny dropped. “Oh!” 

A beat passed, and Theo couldn’t bring himself to look at Scott. He couldn’t even look up from the gum he stared at on the concrete floor. Scott seemed to be waiting for him to speak, but he didn’t.

“I mean, it’s okay. You’ll meet someone else, right?” He suggested with a shrug. He was trying his best, but it only annoyed Theo. He couldn’t just replace Liam. 

Liam wasn’t just some guy. He was his best friend. Theo had spent nearly every day with him for five years. They texted when they weren’t at work, planned pranks together. 

Liam was funny and lively and talented. Theo’s days were spent trying to make Liam laugh. He lived for the sound of it, for the way he grinned and he had no idea how he’d gone so long without knowing. There were a few moments of extended, painful silence before Theo spoke again.

“I’m in love with him.” 

This was a mistake, Scott was never that good at keeping secrets anyway. If this information got out, it would ruin everything. Liam didn’t deserve to have his wedding ruined because Theo couldn’t keep his mouth shut. 

“Oh… does he know?” Scott was quiet, clearly trying to be thoughtful. 

Theo just shook his head and he could feel Scott’s eyes on him, though he didn’t look back at him, he couldn’t. He’d never been in love with anyone before. He was only just realising he loved Liam and now his boss knew. His usually overexcited, often blabbermouth boss. He meant well, but he wasn’t the first person Theo intended to tell something so sensitive. 

“Then… don’t give up.” Theo glanced up, surprised. “Engaged isn’t married and he doesn’t know how you feel. Maybe it would change things… Look, I’m not good at the love thing. The girl I like barely knows I’m alive, but… if you really love him, you should absolutely not give up. Before it’s too late. You should try.” 

Theo was surprised. He had truly been expecting something far less… useful than this. Maybe he didn’t give Scott enough credit.

“Look, I should get back up to work, but just… think about it, alright?”

Theo just nodded and Scott left, patting him casually on the shoulder as he did. 

It was a while before Theo pulled his phone out of his gym bag, which sat unused at his feet and started listening to music. He still had chords on his earphones, unlike some, but he just needed some kind of pallet cleanser. 

He had music playing loud and it took a long time to even notice when someone sat beside him. When he glanced up to find Liam at his side, he winced, pulling one of the earphones out of his ear. He didn’t speak, just waiting for Liam to speak. 

“How are you doing? After everything?”

Theo just frowned at him, “I mean, I’m not great.” He admitted. “Does Hayden hate me now?”

Liam thought for a moment before answering, visibly. “Nah, she doesn’t. She just… needs time to cool off.” Theo didn’t think that made anything make any more sense, considering she had been so competitive with him to begin with. But he wasn’t going to push that thought on Liam, figuring it wasn’t his problem that there was weird tension between him and Hayden. He thought, or hoped, that Theo was Liam’s best friend too. If that was the case, he imagined it would be awful for Liam if this got any worse. 

“I didn’t mean to knock her over.” Theo said quickly, green eyes wide. 

Liam shook his head, “Theo, I know.” He leaned a little closer, his own blue eyes full of concern. Theo couldn’t look at them too long or he might do something stupid, like blurt out how he was feeling and why. “I’m here because I’m worried about you.” He said softly, shifting a little closer so their arms were pressed against each other.

Theo told himself not to forget. He had Hayden. He was engaged. He was getting married. Theo was just his best friend. He loved Hayden. 

“I’m fine, promise.” 

Liam just stared at him for a moment, trying to read whether or not he was lying. He didn’t seem satisfied, but neither of them mentioned it. For the first time, Theo wondered if Liam knew how he felt. But then Liam was talking again and Theo thought maybe that was wishful thinking. Maybe he just wanted to believe there was more to this than there was. But Liam was still engaged and he was still looking at Theo like he was worried about his best friend and Theo had to make his peace with it. He had to. 

“What are you listening to?” He asked, gesturing to Theo’s phone. Nervousness rushed through Theo, the angsty, romantic bullshit he was listening to could be awkward to listen to with Liam.

The song he was currently listening to was War of Hearts, and when Liam put an earphone in his ear to hear ‘I can’t help but love you, even though I try not to’, a part of Theo hoped the ground would open up and swallow him down. But Liam didn’t seem concerned.

Instead, he closed his eyes and leaned his head on Theo’s shoulder. Theo stayed completely still, scared to move, scared to ruin this moment. He didn’t deserve it and he knew it couldn’t last. He felt guilty, but he wouldn’t trade this moment for anything. He could feel Liam’s hair on his shoulders, causing goosebumps as it brushed against him in the breeze. Theo was getting cold and still wearing his basketball workout clothes, but he wouldn’t move. He wouldn’t move a muscle, not now. Not with this.

It was a few minutes, and a few more songs, before he heard little snores coming from Liam’s nose. Theo stared down at him, totally lovestruck, unsure whether to smile or cry, and tried not to listen to the song playing through their shared earphones.

'I can’t make you love me, if you don’t. You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t.'


	4. I Can't Wait To Be Your Number One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a small fire. Games are played, mistakes are made.
> 
> Liam gets an exciting offer.
> 
> A truth comes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rushing to post this before work! Hope it's okay!

“I’m going, I’m going,” Theo whined as he was basically pushed down the stairs by Liam behind him. He couldn’t believe this was happening again. For a tiny paper company, they sure did have a lot of day to day drama. 

Still, it was a chance for him and Liam to essentially mess around and do no work all day, which was fine for him. As it was, they spent far too much time talking to each other and working on pranks rather than doing work. But this was different, now they had an excuse. Theo was leaning back heavily on Liam’s hands, which were currently placed on his back, pushing him as he walked far too slowly down the stairs. 

“Oh my god, Theo, how do you weigh so much?” Liam whined, and they both laughed. Theo loved Liam’s laugh, and he felt like he always heard it more when they got to do stuff like this, run off on stupid little missions together. It was one of the main reasons he kept on pulling pranks after all this time.

“I guess I’m just too muscular,” Theo said back, as innocently as he could.

“We should play games while we wait for the fire department to turn up.” Kira suggested as the whole office moved towards the outside of the building.

“Like what?” Theo heard Liam say from behind him, still leaning back and making it as hard as possible. It was easy enough to be at the back, the two of them sort of had a stupid relationship as it was, so nobody was surprised by them misbehaving. 

Liam laughed back, and Theo heard Derek’s voice break through. “I’ve spent the last four years playing a game called ‘Theo-pong’. It was how many times Theo would run back and forth between Liam’s desk every day.”

Theo stopped dead in his tracks, looking around awkwardly, avoiding meeting the eyes of anyone directly near them. 

Liam had gone quiet too, and when Theo braved a glance at him, he caught his eyes for a moment, before they both looked away as quickly as they could, ignoring the comment. Everyone else was laughing, and Theo thought someone might’ve even wolf whistled, but he had aggressively checked out of this conversation. 

Was it really so obvious? Did everyone know how he felt about Liam? Had everyone known before him? Thinking back, he did go back and forth to the desk at least ten times a day. He hadn’t realised anyone was watching. Evidently Derek was. 

Theo took off walking again, no longer leaning his weight back on Liam, instead moving swiftly down to the parking lot to wait. 

“I was thinking more of like a… desert island style thing. Like what five movies would you take on a desert island if you could never watch any others again.”

“Ooh,” Kira began, brightly, “Legally Blonde, um, Bride Wars…” She thought for a moment, and Theo shook his head.

“These aren’t just movies you like, Kira, they’re the rest of your life! You can never watch anything else again!” He interrupted, a grin on his face. She was smiling back at him, but he could see he’d stumped them all, their fifteen or so employees gathered around trying to decide what movies would qualify for such a serious decision. 

“I’ve got it!” Liam burst out, and Theo felt a weird sense of relief at being given a reason to look down at him. His hair blew softly in the wind of the parking lot and his blue eyes were bright with excitement. His work clothes seemed far too sensible for what Theo knew to be his playful and witty personality, but there were still hints of him. Theo didn’t think he’d ever seen a more beautiful person. 

He shook it away. He wasn’t doing this. Being in love with Liam was stupid and self-destructive and he was getting married. They were friends. Best friends. Liam didn’t want his leering eyes. 

“The Princess Bride,” The group made a sound of agreement for Liam’s first choice. “Die Hard. Shutter Island. Parasite. Alien and—“ 

“No way, Dunbar, that’s five.” Theo interrupted, shaking his head. 

“But, Theo—” Liam whined, while Theo went on shaking his head. Theo tried not to grin, tried not to look like a lovesick puppy, but now that it was on his face, he couldn’t stop it. He wondered if he’d always looked like this, for the last five years. If he’d always looked at Liam like he was the sun. 

Some part of him knew the answer.

“This is boring. Let’s play who would you do.” Jackson interrupted as the warehouse people joined them in dribs and drabs. Hayden wasn’t here yet, which Theo was fine with, but this meant she was coming. 

“Allison,” Scott said without thinking, then coughed multiple times. Allison was from corporate, and she only visited them every few weeks, but it was no great shock to anyone that Scott was fawning over it. He wasn’t subtle about it.

People whooped and laughed. The group went on, one by one, and nearly everyone who liked boys said Theo. That was something of a shock to him, since he didn’t even think most of them liked him, but some part of him wondered if he was an easy out. Easier than saying if they actually fancied someone in the office. Or if it was a safe bet, since he was always cracking jokes with everyone. Brett and Nolan had said Liam though, which Theo was none too surprised by. 

When it got to Liam, he glanced around the circle, looking sort of uncomfortable. Glanced at everyone except Theo. Theo tried to stop his heart beating, tried to stop the aching and unrealistic feeling of hope. Liam opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Hayden. 

“Hi babe,” She wrapped her arms around Liam from behind and Theo snapped his head away, feeling like he’d been caught staring at Liam again, though he had just been looking at him like everyone else had. 

“We’re playing who would you do.” Brett filled in. “Your turn, Hayden.”

They were all a little more loud and raucous than the office staff in general, but still, they had blatantly cut Liam out.

“Oh,” Hayden answered quickly, clearly without even having to stop to think about it, “That tall, constipated looking guy with the abs. Don’t remember his name.”

“My name’s Derek.” He cut in with a frown, “Hi.” 

Hayden flushed and reached out a hand to shake Derek’s awkwardly.

Truthfully, Theo was barely watching any of that. He was watching Liam, how deflated and embarrassed he looked. How sad he must have felt that Hayden didn’t even hesitate. She clearly had that answer ready. 

It was all cut off by Stiles, who nodded at Theo, “What about you? Who would you do?”

Theo felt like tension hung in the air. He felt like everyone must know. He felt like he should never speak again. He couldn’t breathe. 

“Obviously Liam.” Scott cut in, before looking stricken. He realised a minute too late what he’d said and Theo thought he might actually murder him. Nobody spoke. Nobody even breathed loudly. He could feel eyes on him, but Theo stared at the ground for a moment.

But then he cleared his throat and said, “I was going to say Stiles. Obviously.” Everyone laughed, knowing Stiles and Theo were constantly pranking and yelling at each other, knowing there was no way it was true. 

He was saved by his penchant for sarcasm, at least for the moment, and he was glad. 

Their meeting was broken up by Allison’s car pulling up, by Scott’s excitement and nervousness to explain that a kitchen appliance had caught a small fire and things were mostly fine but they needed to wait for the fire department. 

Everyone split up into factions and Theo was left making awkward small talk with Nolan for a time. The guy was fine, he supposed, but Theo didn’t have any strong feelings about him. They worked in different parts of the office and Theo was pretty sure the only thing they shared was Liam. A stupid unrequited love. 

They were making small talk about apartments when the other boy bounced over, newly able to do that again thanks to being free of his boot.

“Theo, guess what?” He beamed. Theo felt a momentary wave of pride that Liam had come here for him and not Nolan, but it was ill founded. Neither of them was his fiancé. 

Nolan saw himself out of the conversation, heading off towards Allison and Lydia. 

“What?” Theo asked, matching Liam’s bright energy with a grin. 

“Allison wants to send me to an art program in New York! She saw my sketches up my arm and she said they have a program for up and comers in the company and she could get me into it if I wanted.”

Theo’s jaw dropped, “Dunbar, that is fucking incredible!” He beamed. A moment later, Liam jumped in for a hug and without thinking, acting on pure instinct, Theo was picking up and swinging him around and they were both laughing. It was only after a second that Theo realised what he was doing and put Liam back down. Liam’s cheeks were flushed and he looked embarrassed.

“Sorry.” Theo added quickly. 

“No, no, I… it’s fine.” Liam still sounded breathless and giddy. “So… you think I should do it then?”

“Hell yeah,” Theo answered without hesitation. “Of course you should. I always said you should pursue your art more and this is a perfect way! Your actual work sponsoring it, you don’t have to pick between the two.”

Liam seemed to think for a moment. “I’d have to go to New York.” He admitted, “For a month at least. Maybe more.”

Okay, so that would suck. But Theo didn’t hesitate. “I mean, that’s still great. I’ll miss you— but this could be your shot, Li. You have to take it.” Theo rarely called Liam by that nickname, so using it now felt like it carried a sort of weight to it. Theo couldn’t express what that was though. “We’ll all be here when you get back.”

“Yeah…” He nodded, smiling brightly, before gesturing over his shoulder. “I’d better get back to the others, I just… wanted to tell you.” He paused, coughing a little, awkwardly. “First, I mean. I wanted to tell you first.” 

Theo wasn’t sure why Liam had felt the need to add that, but he was glad he did. Honestly, it had made him feel pretty special. Best friends, he reminded himself. He wanted to tell his best friend. He has his fiance. When he leaves here tonight, he’ll go home with his fiance, Theo told himself, and not with him. 

As Liam left him, a sort of nervous grin still etched into his face, Theo couldn’t help thinking about those few seconds he had had Liam in his arms. He couldn’t recall the specifics of where his arms had been or where Liam’s had, or even exactly how long it had been. But he remembered how right it had felt. How good it was to be close. Liam had smelled good, and his laugh had sounded like he imagined happiness would. 

Theo could imagine Liam getting into his car at the end of the day instead of Hayden’s. He could imagine them holding hands. He could imagine Liam’s eyes closing as he leaned in… 

He had to stop. This wasn’t helping him or anyone else. Letting himself think about this would ruin their friendship if he let it, and Theo valued the friendship too much to let it go so easily. 

Instead, he made his way over to Lydia and Stiles, who were talking in hushed tones. It took him a minute to realise what had happened. They’d stopped talking suddenly when he came over.

“What?” He asked quickly, nervous, “What is this?” 

“Um…” They exchanged a look.

Lydia finally spoke, “Scott accidentally let something slip.” Theo immediately knew what it was. He worked hard to keep his expression passive. 

“To who?” He asked, his jaw clenching. 

“Only us.” Stiles said quickly, before Lydia glared at him for a second.

“And… Brett.” 

Well, that was that. By tomorrow, everyone in the office would know. Theo couldn’t get into his car and out of this parking lot quickly enough, writing it off as a half day, without so much as a word to anyone, especially Liam.


	5. I'll Be Your Biggest Fan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam and Theo have a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so... I might be too into this because this is now two posts in one day LMAO. But I hope you guys are enjoying because I have half a mind to make it a few chapters longer. I have an idea to get to 10 in Theo's perspective and then have between 2-5 more in Liam's POV. Let me know what you guys thing, I don't want to drag it out too long.

“Dunder Mifflin, this is Liam.” Theo instinctively looked up, only allowing himself to look at Liam for a few moments before he glanced away. His blue eyes staring off into space, he had a smudge of pen on his nose he clearly hadn’t noticed, he was chewing the tip of his pen and Theo’s heart ached. 

Stiles was watching him, and Theo suddenly felt like if he just sat in this stupid bull pen for any longer he was going to lose it. The pitying eyes. The whole fucking office knew, he was sure of it.

He moved off to the kitchen, deciding to make himself coffee to avoid people looking at him anymore.

In the kitchen, he was cornered by Nolan.

“Is it true?” Theo nearly jumped out of his skin, he hadn’t realised anyone was in there.

Theo took a deep breath, preparing for the truth. “Is what true?”

“That you’re in love with Liam.” 

Theo had to think about this. About what he could do with this. The only person who really knew was Scott. Everyone else only knew through a second-hand source. He had to figure out what he was going to do with any of this.

He sighed, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He took his coffee, quickly exited the room and returned to his desk.

By the time he got there, he had an IM from Kira, just a frowny face and a broken heart emoji.

He was going to quit, so help him. He couldn’t live like this.

After a second, he got to his feet, let himself into Scott’s desk and just dropped into a seat. 

“What the fuck did you do, Scott?” The man was his boss, and Theo definitely shouldn’t be talking to him like this, but Scott just gave him an apologetic look. Evidently, Scott realised he’d messed up. “What even happened, how did you tell people? How did you tell Brett of all people?”

“Stiles was talking about Hayden and they started talking about the wedding and it just-- it just slipped out. I truly did not know Brett was within hearing range. I thought it was just Stiles and Lydia and I still didn’t mean to tell them.” Scott blew out a deep breath, “I’m sorry, man. Whatever story you want to tell, I’ll go along with it. I tried to say I was just joking, but they didn’t believe me.”

“I’m going to say…” He took a deep breath, “I don’t know what I’m going to say. I’m going to have to talk to him, obviously, because someone’ll tell him. Brett will definitely tell Hayden, so…” He shook his head. “I don’t know, but I’m going to say something-- I’ll… let you know my plan when I have one.” He glanced back up, “I deserve a raise or something.”

Scott smiled, “I’ll see what I can do.” 

It was a few hours before Theo found himself talking to Liam. That was longer than they generally ever went without talking, but he couldn’t bring himself to even look at Liam when everyone was watching. Waiting.

Aside from that, Theo spent basically all day listening to Liam planning his wedding. Talking to florists. Talking to venues. Talking to bands. Theo thought he was going to lose his mind listening to it.

He’d run off to get a coffee and a moment later, Liam had joined him. Theo was avoiding saying anything, but he could only avoid it so long.

“So, I have to tell you something,” He started, trying to ignore the way his right hand was shaking. Liam glanced up at him, a smile on his face.

“That’s ominous. Go on.” Liam began, grinning as he pulled cookies out of under an old toaster that had been broken forever. “I’ve been hiding cookies. Want one?” 

Theo loved him.

“Okay, well… you’re going to hear something around the office at some point today, and I thought it should come from me. Uh, basically, Scott let slip that I… at one point, had a crush on you.” He cleared his throat.

Liam’s eyes widened, clearly shocked. “Wait-- what?” 

“When you first started. Like a million years ago now. You know. Anyway, I’m sorry if that’s weird, but I just thought you should know.”

“You… had a crush on me?” Liam repeated dumbly. 

Theo stared at him a moment. Had he really not had any inkling? When Theo had spent most of his work day talking to Liam, had he really not known? When Theo had pulled pranks and helped him pick out colours for their wedding because Hayden had no interest in planning? When Theo dropped him home for a whole week because Liam couldn’t afford to get his car fixed? When Theo sat still for an hour pretending to work so Liam could draw his profile in peace? How could he have not known? Now that Theo himself was aware of it, he wondered if he’d ever really disliked Liam at all, or if Liam had just been… everything, right from the beginning. Because Theo remembered now, how Liam had walked up to him on that first day, all bright eyed and bushy tailed. He had noticed Theo trying to prank Stiles and immediately offered to help. Worse, he had come up with a far better idea than Theo’s. 

“Yeah. Past tense. But y’know, it was… before. Before Hayden and all that.” He admitted awkwardly, clearing his throat.

“Oh.” Liam just blinked at him for a second. Like he was trying to find something in his eyes. Theo hoped he didn’t find it. He was sure it wouldn’t work out in his favour. “What do you mean before Hayden?” 

Theo was confused, suddenly. “Like, before you started dating.” 

Liam looked more confused now, arms folding over his chest. “We were dating before. She just started working here after me. We’ve been dating since we were fifteen.” 

Theo felt like he had been hit by a truck. He had thought Liam and Hayden had been together for three or four years. To find out they had been together for nearly ten years hurt him-- though it changed nothing. They were getting married either way. But Liam had never really been on his own. Hayden’s non-committal, dismissive thing she did to him had been happening since they were fifteen years old. How had that affected him? No wonder he was so shy.

“Oh, I didn’t… realise that.” He admitted. He tried to fight back the feeling of anger growing in him, realising how much he truly didn’t like her. 

“Well, we were sort of on or off when I first started here. We were never really broken up-broken up, but… she was at college across the state and…” He trailed off. Theo didn’t think he actually wanted to know the end of the sentence either. He looked down at the shorter office worker, and he tried to categorise his feelings. Liam was flushed and staring up at him, looking like he still couldn’t figure out how he was meant to respond to what Theo had said.

Theo tried to find flaws with the boy. The little gap between his front teeth. The way his hair fluffed up sometimes and wouldn’t sit down. He snorted when he laughed. He was clumsy too-- always injured. He could be too loud, too shy. He put up with so much shit from the people around him.

Theo tried hard to find reasons not to love him, but he kept on coming up short. The little gap between his front teeth was endearing. The way his hair fluffed up made Theo want to ruffle it. His laugh was like sunshine. Him being clumsy was sort of cute, if not a little worrying. He was funny, humble. The people around him should’ve treated him better. 

“So.” Theo cleared his throat awkwardly, avoiding his eyes, turning back to his coffee, which he had left halfway to have this awkward conversation with Liam. “When’s New York?” He asked, hoping to come across as a supportive friend, to smooth over what had just happened. 

“Oh, uh…” Liam stared at his hands, and Theo had a sick feeling in his stomach that he knew where this was going. He already felt like yelling. “I don’t think I’m going to do it.”

Theo’s voice sounded quiet and exhausted when he spoke, “Why not, Dunbar?” His heart ached; this was Liam’s shot. This was his big break. Why would he possibly give that up?

“Well, it’s just… It’s not realistic.” Liam began, sounding like he was nervous to tell Theo why he was bailing on this. Worried Theo would be mad, maybe. “I mean, I have to think about what’s practically best for our future, and we’d have to push back the wedding a bit, and, I mean, Hayden’s right, there’s no guarantee anything would ever even come from it and--” 

“Hayden said that?” Theo didn’t sound exhausted anymore. He sounded angry. 

As it happened, he was furious. Where did she get off talking down his dreams like that? Because it was too inconvenient for her for Liam to be gone? Because he might outgrow her and realise she was awful to him? Because Liam might actually get to be happy on his own? Theo felt like screaming, but not at Liam, not really. He just didn’t want Liam to give up on his dreams because of her. 

“Don’t, Theo. She’s right, I like drawing, but it’s not a career and--” 

“Come on, Dunbar, you’re smarter than that. You’re talented and you deserve to pursue your own dreams in this life and your fiance shouldn’t be telling you not to--”

“I’m sorry, but that’s none of your damn business.” Liam cut him off, his eyes seeming to burn as he glared straight ahead at Theo. His hands were balled in fists and he was clearly ready to argue this with Theo if he pushed, but Theo didn’t care. He just felt so angry. 

“None of my business? You came to me about this, Liam. You told me about art school, and you were so excited, but you have to take a chance on something sometime, Liam, and--”

“Excuse me, I am perfectly fucking happy with my choices!” 

“Are you?!” Theo snapped.

A silence fell over the breakroom, and the two stared each other down, neither moving a muscle. Theo suddenly felt like they weren’t actually talking about art school anymore, but he hadn’t meant for that subject change to happen. Still, it had. 

Art School was Theo. Dunder Mifflin was Hayden. 

Liam was perfectly fine with his decision.

“Forget it, Dunbar, it’s your choice.” Theo said quickly, before turning to leave, moving back to his desk in silence.

A few minutes later, Liam emerged from the breakroom, but Theo didn’t turn to look. He could feel Stiles’ eyes on him. Hell, he could feel half the office’s eyes on him. He didn’t look. He just kept typing, logging the sale he’d made earlier in the day. 

When the IM popped up on his screen, Theo was ready to yell. Except, if there was anyone he would’ve taken the message from, it was Derek.

‘I’m sorry.’ That was all it said. So he supposed the whole office had heard the fight then. A minute later, another IM followed. ‘Maybe it’s time to move on.’

Theo wanted to. He wanted to move on. He wanted to look at Liam and just see a friend.

He couldn’t. All he could think of was how badly he wanted to hold him again. How badly he wanted it to be him helping plan the wedding. How badly he wanted to hold his hand. To hear him laugh. How badly he wanted to wake up and to have the first thing he saw be Liam’s eyes. He’d been obsessed with those eyes for so long and he hadn’t even known it. 

He stared at his desk. There were photos, him and his sister, his friends from school, even one of him and Stiles at 20, when they first started. They looked like very awkward babies back then. But stuck to his calendar was a drawing. It was only small, a quick doodle given to him without much thought. It was himself. A tiny, cartoon version of himself, but himself none the less. There was a little heart beside small, cartoon Theo and Theo had instantly loved it. He had better drawings; more colour, more realistic, more detail.

But this one was their friendship. They had been on a work dinner, Liam had been drunk off his ass and hanging all over Theo. He was evidently a clingy drunk and Theo had thought it was adorable. He had happily looked after him, happily dropped him home to Hayden, who hadn’t come to the dinner because she was hanging out with her sister instead, as per usual. Liam had given it to him on a post it, and then promptly fallen backwards out of his chair.

Finally, he glanced up, just for a moment, just a hint. 

Liam looked sad, the phone held to his face, one hand covering his mouth. He was probably talking to his mother, knowing Liam. He always called her when he was sad. 

Theo remembered when he met her, how Hayden had come running up and they’d hugged and he’d kept far away, worried he was intruding, feeling like he had no right. Hayden had left to get the car started and Theo had heard the conspiratorial, teasing way his mother had leaned in and asked, “Which one is Theo?”

He had heard the shy and giggly way Liam had shushed her. 

Theo wished it was him. Instead, Theo pulled a post it from his desk. 

He was no artist, far from it. He drew a tiny, bad drawing of Liam, complete with bright blue eyes from the tip of his highlighter (because Liam’s eyes were his favourite thing about him). 

He left work an hour early, because while he wasn’t meant to, he doubted Scott would hold him accountable, considering how Scott had spilled his secret, considering how the whole office had heard them yell at each other. He needed to get out of here anyway, needed to clear his head. So on the way out, he stuck his little doodle post it on Liam’s desk. 

Just underneath the doodle, with no other context, Theo wrote four words. 

‘I believe in you’.


	6. You'll Be Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo learns more about Liam and Hayden's relationship.
> 
> Liam learns more about Theo's opinions on things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 6! I think I will be extending this to probably 15 chapters, but I'm currently playing it by ear! I know exactly where I want it to end, but I have to figure out what I want to include in Liam's POV post Chapter 10! In the meantime, have some angst.
> 
> The next chapter is going to be a big one!
> 
> Hope you enjoy x

This was the last thing, the absolute last thing that he wanted. Of all the things Theo had been expecting to be the fall out of Scott’s slip up, this had been sort of unexpected. He had sort of thought Hayden would go on avoiding him as she always had. But here she was. Maybe intending to tell him to back off. In truth, he sort of wouldn’t blame her for that one.

“Raeken!” Hayden called as she walked towards him. Theo turned to look at his sides, for a way out. There wasn’t one, from the kitchen, he could only go back into the bullpen or into the annexe. Neither would protect him from this. She would just follow and then everyone would bear witness to whatever was about to happen.

Honestly, Theo wasn’t sure she even knew his first name. She sure never used it.

“Uh, hey, Hayden.” The smile felt pulled on his own face, more like a sneer almost. He didn’t particularly want to talk to her, not now especially. Not now that everyone thought he was in love with Liam. Not now that she had talked Liam out of pursuing his dreams.

For all he knew, she was about to hit him. She had always been sort of a physical person.

“What’cha up to?” Theo wondered if he was going to have to make small talk now, something they had never been able to successfully achieve. He sure hoped not.

“Uh, I’m fine, Hayden. What’s up with you?” He put his hot coffee down on the bench so it couldn’t be thrown at him, just in case, clearing his throat awkwardly as he stepped back away a little, leaning against the table people sometimes sat at to eat their lunch.

“I hear you’re in love with my boyfriend,” Her tone was flat, her expression more of a glare than a neutral. 

Theo nearly choked on his own spit. He knew it was coming, of course, but not in this way. He hadn’t expected her to be so blunt and confrontational about it.

“No, I--” 

“Relax, Raeken. I’m joking. Liam told me you had a crush on him when he started working here, that it’s over. It’s fine.” Theo finally let out a breath, “Honestly, it’s fine. I’m glad you get all his energy out during the day, he’s a lot less annoying at night now,” She said the words jokingly, as if this was a funny joke that Theo would obviously be able to relate to. The most Theo could muster was a half smile-- it wasn’t funny and he didn’t get it. He would kill to go home with Liam at the end of all this. To lay down together and talk and be together. 

Here she was, talking about how she would sleep with Derek, referring to him as her boyfriend rather than fiance, saying she was glad he got his energy out. Theo didn’t get it. Theo didn’t want to justify it with a response, because he didn’t want to wind up yelling at someone Liam obviously cared about. 

“Well, I… like talking to him.” Theo finally answered, staying as calm as he could about it.

“No, I do too,” She answered with a casual wave of her hand. “Just like, sometimes he’s a lot, y’know?” She tried again, but Theo just blinked a few times more, trying to think of a way to answer without straight up disagreeing. 

Still, he couldn’t leave it. Finally, he settled on, “I haven’t really had that experience. Anyway, I best be going. Sales calls and all that,” He flashed what he hoped was a convincing smile and took off back to his desk. 

A minute later, Hayden followed and, far be it from fate to let Theo have a break, rather than returning to the warehouse, she sat on the edge of Liam’s desk, talking with him in hushed tones, her face close to his. 

Theo only watched for a moment before he made himself look away, made himself ignore it. He was torturing himself if he watched it, he realised, allowing it to hit him like a punch to the gut as he realised that not only would he never get to be with Liam; the woman Liam loved treated him like he was a burden on her.

He went back to what he was doing, realising a moment too late that he had pranked Stiles and totally forgotten about it. It was still early, so people were still dribbling into the office bit by bit. 

“Really, Theo?” Stiles snapped. “Again?” 

Theo could feel peoples’ eyes on them and rather than letting anyone see how sad he was sure he looked, he plastered on a bright grin, looking down at what Stiles held ominously in his hand. 

In his hand, a little plate of jello and plainly visible inside, Stiles’ stapler. 

He could hear Liam’s laughter from here, could vaguely hear Corey and Mason’s as well. Sometimes his pranks were met with eyerolls or straight up indifference, but every now and then, others would be amused too-- and that was truly Theo’s bread and butter here. The things he enjoyed most besides the receptionist.

It was a good distraction, to bicker with Stiles for a while. Part of Theo wondered if Stiles was actually, for once, acting tactfully. If he wanted to distract Theo from what was going on at the reception desk. But it was also fully possible that they were just bickering because that was their relationship. 

Hours passed, the day dragged on, Theo avoided Liam. 

He could hear him on the phone, planning the wedding. It was fine, really, he had to do it and if he had a light business day, why shouldn’t he? Theo had no good reason to get annoyed. None, except that he was so jealous he thought he might scream. 

Now, looking back, he realised he always had been. But Hayden had always been so blase that a part of Theo truly thought that Liam would leave at some point. More than that, a part of Theo had spent all this time denying he cared whether Liam left or not. That was all gone now, and the feelings were white hot in his stomach. 

It was nearly two before Nolan came in with a sigh. He clearly didn’t like speaking in front of everyone, despite being their human resources rep, and Theo automatically knew Corporate was making him do it.

“Corporate wants us to go through some of the anonymous complaints filed and see if we can manage them.” A few employees groaned, and Theo was hardly surprised. He had rolled his eyes himself, this seemed like a terrible idea. Theo didn’t think he’d ever complained about anyone, but he was sure he’d been complained about. Hell, he’d witnessed Stiles complain about him at least five times in the last month. 

“Doesn’t that seem like a terrible idea?” Mason spoke up, frowning, “I mean, aren’t people just going to get offended and paranoid?” 

Theo agreed and by the look on his face, so did Nolan. 

“Well, it’s what Corporate wants. So… if anyone wants to have a complaint about them read out first, speak now or… I guess I’ll choose at random.”

Theo actually felt sorry for Nolan. Sure, they would all be subjected to hearing their colleagues criticisms of them, but Nolan had to drop the hammer. On all of them.

There was a moment of loaded, annoyed silence before Liam spoke up. Good, noble Liam who everybody liked. “I’ll go first.” He offered, raising his shoulders in a shrug.

“Mm… Well, there’s only one against you.” Nolan said, reading out of the folder. That was no great surprise either, because he was sort of friends with everyone. Even Stiles. Nolan himself obviously liked him, so that part was easy. “Uh…” He began to read verbatim from the page, “Does he have to plan his wedding on office time, can’t he do that at home?” Nolan read out, before glancing up.

Liam looked stricken, and Theo suddenly realised something horrible.

It was him. He had lodged that complaint. Unknowingly, he had just grumbled it to Nolan at one point, knowing he’d likely feel similarly, he hadn’t been meaning to actually complain about him. 

But Liam looked to Malia, clearly offended. It was a fair assumption. Liam and Malia shared close quarters and, while they were close friends, if someone was getting told to shut up, it was usually Malia who did it.

“It wasn’t me.” Malia said quickly, her eyes wide, innocent.

“Who else could it even have been, who else would complain about something like that?!” Liam snapped back.

“I don’t know, but it wasn’t me. I have no problem with you planning your wedding.” 

“Well, someone complained.” Others were trying to jump in, trying to help, but Liam and Malia were focused on each other.

It took Theo a minute to speak, and when he did, he really didn’t want to. “It was me.” He said quickly.

Everyone turned to look at him, but Theo was only looking at Liam. Liam looked… betrayed. Theo wished this wasn’t happening. 

“I wasn’t-- I wasn’t trying to actually complain about you, I was just venting to Nolan because it was… sort of loud, that’s all. I’m sorry.” Liam didn’t answer, but the group had fallen into a loaded silence. Liam got to his feet, turned, and walked directly out of the office and into the hallway. Theo wanted to follow, but he was afraid of making things worse. Afraid of what people would make of it.

Scott told Nolan to forget it, that he would explain to Corporate that it hadn’t gone well, and they all went back to their desks. Time passed, Liam eventually returned to his desk and ignored Theo, everyone went on working. It was one of the quietest, least disruptive days they’d had in a long time.

It was far later in the afternoon before Theo talked to anyone else, but he found himself sitting with Mason, Corey and Lydia, drinking coffee and joking casually about their worst dates.

“The guy legitimately was wearing sweats. We were at a fancy dinner and he was wearing sweats.” Corey, Theo and Lydia were all laughing at Mason’s story, and he was shaking his head like the whole thing was beyond belief.

“I mean, that’s not the worst! I had someone leave a date early because they were going to another date.” Lydia told them all, shaking her head in frustration. 

The joke continued on, but Theo didn’t have too much to add. He was in love with an engaged man. “I haven’t been on a date in like two years, so I don’t have much to offer here.” He said with a shrug.

“And here I thought you’d be a player,” Corey joked with a smile. 

“I can totally top you guys,” Theo jumped when he heard Liam’s voice behind him, with no idea when the younger boy had joined the conversation, evidently having been too distracted by the lighthearted chat itself. “My first date, this one time, I went to a football game with a girl and her sister. Some time towards the end I felt sick, so I went to the bathroom. While I was gone, the game ended and they forgot about me. Just left me there at the grounds, took them over an hour to realise and come back.”

Theo could hear laughing, but it took him a second to place something. Something Liam had said to him. How he refused to go places with his Hayden and her sister because…

“When was this?” Lydia asked, maybe with the same suspicion that Theo had.

“Didn’t you start dating Hayden in high school…?” Mason added, evidently catching on to the thought they were all having.

“Li, tell me you’re not talking about Hayden. Tell me you’re not talking about the woman you’re currently engaged to…?” Theo asked, not wanting to embarrass Liam, but likewise needing to know whether he was right. He was pretty sure he was, and that was the worst part.

Liam’s face reddened and he stared at the ground, “Leave me alone, we were fifteen.” He defended.

“Sure, but you just got engaged to her now,” Mason answered with a laugh, evidently happy to prod at him a little further, despite Liam’s red cheeks. 

Liam was red-faced and his blue eyes were fixed on the ground, his long lashes casting shadows down his cheeks.

“Okay, I mean, we didn’t just get engaged actually--”

“What?!” 

“We’ve actually been engaged for a few years.” 

Everyone just stared, confused and evidently unsure what to do. They had only found out recently, had they really been so unobservant? Had Liam been so secretive? Theo was his best friend and he didn’t know. 

“Hayden didn’t want anyone to know.” Liam’s words were quiet, and Theo could tell he was actually starting to feel embarrassed of it all. “We were younger and she wasn’t sure she was ready, so she wore the ring around her neck instead of on her finger. A few weeks ago, she told me she was finally ready. That I could start planning the wedding.” 

Theo felt a little sick about it. The more he found out about their relationship, the worse it seemed to Theo. They had been engaged for three years and she had referred to Liam as her boyfriend to Theo earlier. 

He wanted to get up and leave. Wanted to say something. Wanted to shake Liam and ask why her? Why her and not him? Or at least Nolan, someone who might treat him better. Or someone outside the office, but why her?

The conversation went on without him, but Theo was checked out. He waited, bit by bit, till people trickled back to their desks. When it was just him and Liam, he hesitated before saying something.

Only when he saw Liam making to leave did he say something to him. 

“I am sorry.” He said quickly, staring at his hands for a moment.

He heard Liam sigh, so he glanced up. Liam was still leaning against the bench of the kitchen, standing much taller than Theo, who was still sitting. His cheeks and nose were still a little flushed, likely from the previous conversation, and his hair looked like Liam might’ve made an actual effort with it today. He wore a button down and a cardigan, long pants. It was a contrast to the salesmen, who mostly wore some variation of a work suit, but it looked soft. 

He wasn’t sure he’d ever paid so much attention to it, but looking at Liam’s clothes was easier than looking at his eyes or his face in general. Seeing how disappointed he undoubtedly looked.

“I just… wasn’t expecting it. I thought you were on my side with this stuff.” 

Theo blinked. Is that what Liam thought? That this was Theo not being on his side? Weirdly, it was kind of the opposite. The more he saw of their relationship, the more desperately he wanted to be able to support Liam. He wanted him to be happy, it just seemed like he wasn’t getting what he needed from that relationship.

“I am on your side.” Theo said softly. “I’m sorry. It’s been a really awkward few days, with Scott saying that I…” He trailed off, gesturing between the two of them, “And you know, all the wedding stuff. I guess I’ve just been on edge. Of course I’m on your side. I’m always on your side.” 

Liam thought for a moment, his nose pinched and his mouth forming a frown that looked more like a pout. It was adorable, but Theo was too busy being concerned he wasn’t going to forgive him to focus too much on that. 

“What you said yesterday, about Hayden and my choices--” 

Panic rose in Theo’s chest.

“I was out of line.” He said quickly, frowning. He realised it probably didn’t sound like that at this point. It came out that Theo had liked Liam right before Theo had seemingly judged Liam’s decision to be with Hayden and then complained about him planning his wedding. It didn’t make him look good, but Theo truly hadn’t meant any of it the way it was happening. He could be fine with Liam not choosing him. He couldn’t be fine with Liam being unhappy. 

What was more, a part of him always wondered whether there was even a chance, even a sliver of a chance, that Liam might feel differently if he knew. He suspected it wouldn’t change a thing, but a part of him wanted to believe otherwise.

He got to his feet, to say something to Liam, but he found himself standing far closer than he realised he would be. He hadn’t realised how close Liam was leaning against the bench. He hadn’t realised how close standing up would put him.

He swallowed, staring down at Liam, who was staring up at him. Neither of them spoke, but Theo could swear, just for a second, Liam’s eyes flickered down to his lips. 

But then it was over and Liam was stepping back till he hit the door behind him. “Look, I should be getting back… I’m-- it’s fine. I just… I hope we’re okay. I hope things are okay. I was hoping-- I was hoping you’d be a groomsmen, but um…” 

Theo would’ve answered, but Liam had backed right out of the kitchen mid-sentence, not giving him time to answer. Theo, for his part, stood in total silence, barely moving. 

If he wasn’t mistaken, he could swear something had just happened. 

He couldn’t get his hopes up though, he knew what this was. They were best friends. Liam was engaged. He might have looked at Theo’s lips, but it didn’t matter. It didn’t change anything.


	7. I Wanna Break Your Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo gets Liam for his secret Santa.
> 
> Theo buys him a blue teapot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this one hurt me to write, but I really hope I did it justice because it's a big chapter.
> 
> I've decided that I am going to extend the fic to include a few chapters in Liam's POV. I'm not sure entirely how many yet, but I doubt the fic will go longer than 16 chapters tops. Anyway, I'll keep updating when I've got new chapters and I hope you guys enjoy!
> 
> Please feel free to leave any/all feedback :')

Theo had been waiting five years to get Liam as his Secret Santa. He had been desperately waiting to be able to get him the perfect Christmas present.

He had too many ideas, but most of them were little and sentimental. Jokes he wanted to give Liam. It was a twenty dollar limit, but that was fine, because Theo knew the main present.

It was a blue teapot. Liam drank tea nearly constantly, and he had wanted his own teapot so he didn’t have to run back and forth to the kitchen as often. 

The blue wasn’t for any real reason, except that he thought Liam would like the colour, and it would match his eyes. It had been a little more than twenty, but not a lot, and the main part of the present was the inside part anyway.

A bunch of inside jokes, shoved inside a teapot.

He was still deciding what to include, because he had too many ideas. 

The first was his yearbook picture. Liam had seen it when Theo had hosted a barbecue for his colleagues. His sister had wanted to meet them all, not believing Stiles was a real person and not someone Theo was making up for comedy’s sake. He had wandered up to Theo’s room at some point, begun rifling through his things, and Theo had found him doing it. 

Liam hadn’t been shy about it, which was funny to Theo. In a way, he was proud of it. Liam was shy about a great many things, but almost never with Theo. He figured that spoke to how close the two of them were. Liam was more himself around him, more witty, more clever, more sarcastic, more bold.

Theo didn’t have much he was embarrassed of, his room was clean and neat. He had a few pictures up on his walls, but most weren’t of him at all, they were friends or family he had collected over the years.

He had a lot of books, but Liam already knew he read, and he wasn’t ashamed of it. There was a guitar, which Liam strummed absentmindedly before moving on. 

It was like he was trying to find something particular, though Theo had no idea what Liam had been looking for. But then he’d come across the yearbook and he’d immediately gotten excited.

The photo of Theo wasn’t that embarrassing. He was maybe fifteen. His hair was a shaggy flop on his forehead and he was smiling at the camera with maybe a more awkward expression than he would have now. He was a lot smaller and his cheeks were quite a bit rounder, but he mostly still looked like himself. There was nothing, in Theo’s mind, that funny about it.

But Liam had been so happy. He’d laughed for too long, giggled about how much he loved the photo, how funny it was to see Theo looking like a baby. 

He’d dropped back onto Theo’s bed and flipped through pages and pages, looking for more pictures, eventually finding a photo of him on the debate squad. He was skinny and awkward, his blazer too big for him and his tie not really tied properly. Someone had clearly pushed his hair back, because there was more forehead, but Theo wasn’t smiling in this photo. He looked young, shy and uncomfortable. 

Liam had loved that one too. He’d gone on about how cute Theo looked, asked if he could see any more. Theo didn’t have much in the way of photos, but he did have a few more yearbooks. He fished them out for Liam, finding one from when he was in grade school. 

Chubby cheeked, doe eyed, his teeth gapped and little. He was noticeably himself, but he looked more innocent. He had been a skinny, awkward kid, sort of lanky and unsure, but happy. Back then, and all through school, Theo had been a class clown. He had gotten away with it, but in moments like this, in photos, his own insecurity seemed to shine through. At least to Theo, who remembered how scared he was back then of not having any friends.

It had been surreal, to see Liam sitting on his bed, laughing brightly and fawning over the photos of young, awkward Theo. No muscle. No snark to hide behind. Just a little, lanky him. 

Theo didn’t know at the time how taken he was with Liam, but looking back, everything about it should have been obvious. How easily he had let Liam go through all his things, how happy he had been to hide away from his own event with the boy. How nervous he’d felt about Liam looking at the pictures, even though he wasn’t embarrassed by them. Theo could remember wishing he could see Liam’s school pictures, imagining a little him, with the same bright blue eyes and hopeful smile. He wondered if he was less shy then or more. 

Theo could recall how glad he was Liam had come, how glad he was Hayden wasn’t there. 

The yearbook picture was the first thing he put in there. It was his final year of high school photo, the first Liam had seen. He had laughed so much, Theo felt Liam would appreciate owning the picture more than he himself would. 

The next thing he wanted to include was from a day they had spent at the zoo. It had been Scott’s idea, an outing for them all. He’d always treated them like they were more friends than his subordinates. He’d always treated them like the lot of them were mates who should go places together and hang out and be like a family. 

Theo pretended to be annoyed by it, but he sort of thought it was nice. And he certainly appreciated the times he got to spend with Liam out of office and without Hayden. 

Liam and Theo had been walking around, doing bad impressions of David Attenborough talking about the animals. They hadn’t really stayed with the group, falling back and goofing off on their own.

During lunch, Theo had taken to mocking the way Liam ate, narrating him as David Attenborough, referring to him as the little wolf cub. Liam had been throwing fries at him every so often, Theo expertly dodged. 

Eventually Liam, who was supposed to be ‘taking notes’ on the day for his boss, had thrown his entire pencil and notepad at Theo.

Theo had kept the miniature zoo pencil -- with the zoo logo on it -- for nearly three years. It wasn’t really intentional, it just brought good memories to him. A time where they had had fun together, where no one had stood in their way. They had done nothing but laugh and run around all day and Theo remembered the day with glowing enthusiasm. Suddenly he wondered how he had ever not known how he felt about Liam? When he had kept this pencil for years. 

There was a little earring in there too. That was a joke between the two of them as well. When Liam found out that Theo had had an earring once, for a very brief time, he had mocked him about it for weeks. He had drawn little cartoons of Theo with bigger, more interesting earrings.

He had told everyone how Theo was secretly far more edgy than he was. He had called him ‘Bad Boy Theo’ for weeks at a time. It had been a funny ongoing joke that Theo had never really forgotten. 

There were a few other things too, jokes that were harder to explain. A little wolf pin that they’d had a running joke over for years, which hadn’t been mentioned for a while. A little salt sashe from the first time they’d hung out, which Theo probably shouldn’t still have, but did because it had ended up the two of them throwing salt at each other and getting kicked out of a mall.

The final thing he put inside the teapot was a letter.

A letter Theo put everything he felt into. A letter where he let himself be totally raw and vulnerable, where he put his heart in his hands, broken and flawed as it was, and hoped it would be enough for Liam. 

It was hard for him to write, hard for him to find the words he actually wanted to say. He didn’t know how to explain, and he didn’t want Liam to feel pressured. He just needed him to know. It was barely over a month from their wedding, which had been fairly rushed, and Theo couldn’t bear the thought of Liam getting married and not even knowing that he was an option. Without Liam knowing he had Theo’s heart. Fully and completely.

He knew it was a risk. Especially since it was a present at work. He doubted Liam had him for a Secret Santa too, and so he knew he would probably get a t-shirt that didn’t fit, but he didn’t care. All he wanted was for Liam to get the best Christmas present ever. And he thought, in his own humble opinion, that he’d done a pretty good job of making it something that Liam would love.

The warehouse workers wouldn’t be at their Secret Santa swap, so that would be one added bonus. Liam wouldn’t open it in front of Hayden, Theo wouldn’t have to see her immediate response. 

When he went into work that day, he went in happily and with a sense of energy and excitement. He was finally doing what he needed to do, finally doing the right thing. Or at least, being honest. Giving Liam the chance to decide on his own. 

He didn’t really do much for Christmas, but some of the others did. The office was decorated, Liam’s desk sporting a little tree and a lot of tinsel around the place. He wore a Christmas sweater that brought out his eyes and looked adorably excited first thing in the morning.

Theo remembered how he’d been so annoyed by his energy at one point, but how he was now drawn to it. Now it enthused him too, left him feeling brighter.

When he got in, he put his own present down and returned to lean against Liam’s desk. 

“I got you a present.” Liam said with a smile as soon as he got there.

Theo’s brows raised and Liam grinned. “It didn’t cost anything, don’t worry.” He handed Theo a manila folder. 

“I’ve been sending Stiles secret correspondence from intelligence, telling him he’s being scouted for a secret mission.” Theo’s brows raised, able to sense how excited Liam was about this. “So that’s your present. You get to decide what his secret mission is.”

Theo grinned and Liam matched it, the two just smiling brightly at each other for maybe a beat too long. 

Theo moved around to Liam’s side of the desk, kneeling beside his chair and looking at Liam’s screen. “What if we sent him to DC? We could even get him a bus ticket.”

Liam typed quickly and then shook his head, “The ticket is like $150…” He sighed.

Theo thought for a moment, “Maybe they send a helicopter? We could tell him to be on the roof at midnight?”

“Perfect,” Liam grinned at his computer and began writing up the correspondence to send to Stiles. There was a chance he’d realise it was them and stop, but there was also a chance he’d go just in case. Just to make sure. Theo was hoping that was what would happen.

After their prank, the day went a little slower. He made Liam tea a few times, sent IMs to him frequently, joked back and forth and overall found himself looking at the shorter boy far too much. 

Just before the Christmas party, his computer dinged as an IM came through. 

‘He’s engaged.’ Theo looked up from his desk, finding Derek looking at him from his own. He didn’t look judgemental though, he looked concerned. Concerned that his friend was going to get hurt maybe.

He just closed the chat, got to his feet, and walked off towards the break room, where Lydia had set out a bunch of snacks, food, drinks, alcohol even. The alcohol which Scott had probably paid for himself, since he was nearly completely certain that Corporate would’ve said no to paying for it. 

He was busy having a conversation with Corey about basically nothing when Scott bounded out of his office, wearing a Santa costume and pure excitement. 

“Is everyone ready for Secret Santa?” He grinned brightly, running towards the tree that had been set up. Theo didn’t know who actually did it, since he wasn’t in the party planning committee, but someone had, and he’d be willing to guess Liam had a hand in it. 

Before he knew it, everyone was gathered in a circle, in a mix of on chairs and sitting on the floor, Theo sat across the circle from Liam, by matter or circumstance, and waited. In a way it was nice. Liam was in his natural line of sight, which gave him a good enough excuse to look at the boy. 

He watched as presents were handed out. Sweaters, beanies, nameplates, board games, bottles of alcohol. Little gifts, made for coworkers who didn’t know each other so well. 

Theo’s wasn’t really similar. Everything about his had been specific to Liam. Specific to the person he knew so well. 

When Liam opened it, finally, he barely knew how to feel. Liam grinned when he saw the teapot, nodded at Theo, as if immediately knowing it was him without even having it addressed from anyone, even without looking at the pieces inside. Theo didn’t point them out to Liam, because he didn’t want everyone else to see how much effort he’d gone to. It was enough to be so vulnerable with Liam, but far scarier to do it with everyone in the office standing by. 

Stiles looked down at his own scarf, then back up at the teapot in Liam’s hands.

“Wanna trade?” He asked. He was obviously operating under the assumption nobody had put too much thought or energy into their individual presents, that everyone had just bought anything they could find for $20 and nothing was too specific. He doubted he would ask to trade if he knew, Stiles wasn’t that insensitive. He didn’t think. 

Liam looked down at the teapot, then up at Stiles’ scarf. “Can I see it? Is it soft?”

Theo felt his heart drop. Of all the people he didn’t want to read that later, Stiles had to be up there. He didn’t think he’d be cruel to Theo about it, but it was still embarrassing and a level of vulnerability he’d forced himself to achieve with Liam, but didn’t know if he could ever achieve with anyone else. 

They were passing the teapot and scarf between each other, looking at them with interest, while Scott was suggesting that they could make it a game of yankee swap if they wanted to. 

Theo was trying to pay attention, trying to make things better, but he was busy panicking about everything. Panicking that Liam was going to give the teapot to Stiles and he would be exposed. 

“Uh, but what about the teapot?” Theo ventured quietly, his voice betraying his nervousness. 

By the time he had spoken up, they had basically agreed to trade already and Theo felt like he might be sick.

He knew Liam didn’t know, didn’t know the effort he’d gone to and how much it had all meant to him. He knew Liam didn’t know it was any more than a teapot, probably picked up at the local store, barely considered past a moment of shopping and paying and wrapping. 

Still, Theo’s eyes were wide and he suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe. 

“It’s my teapot now, didn’t you hear the deal?” Stiles asked with a devious grin. He knew Stiles didn’t know. He reminded himself that none of this was intentional, but panic was rising in him, and he didn’t know what to do.

Unsure and overwhelmed, he got to his feet and walked out, moving quickly into the bathroom and splashing water over his face.

He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment. At his own basic blue shirt, basic blue tie. He looked at his own eyes, and he could see the fear in the green of them. 

He still looked like himself, but he could see in his own face how afraid he looked, and he truly didn’t want any of his colleagues to see that. 

All he could hope was that Stiles wouldn’t tell anyone what he found. That he would just chuck the stuff out and not mention it.

It took him a few minutes to pull himself together enough to leave the bathroom. His breathing had been harsh and he hadn’t been able to calm his head for a second. By the time he left, he felt a little more himself. He hoped nobody would see how blatantly off colour he felt within himself.

But when he went back into the office, most people were still sitting around talking. Liam gestured to get his attention, then pointed to his desk, where the blue teapot sat.

Theo furrowed his brows, confused, and walked over to the reception desk. 

“I got it back.” Liam said quickly before he could speak. 

“Why? I thought you wanted the scarf?” He asked, blinking, confused. 

“I don’t know. I just figured I’d rather have what you got for me.” He had a soft smile on his face, and Theo felt his stomach turn, wishing he could hug Liam. Wishing he could be nearer him, but knowing he couldn’t. 

Theo took a deep breath, and smiled warmly at him. “Well, see, my gift is the right choice anyway. Because my gift comes with a few… little baby gifts.” He told Liam, trying to put on his usual smirk, hoping it would be convincing. Hoping Liam wouldn’t notice how his hands shook.

Liam’s face lit up, Theo’s own smile taking over him, unable to resist Liam’s happiness. 

He opened the lid of the teapot and pulled out, the first thing at the top, Theo’s yearbook picture.

Liam immediately started laughing, his eyes bright and his expression full of pure happiness and Theo was so glad he’d done it, he could never put it into words. This was it, this was all he had wanted from this gift.

But then a wave of anxiety washed over him when he saw the letter. Liam was distracted by the picture, and Theo could see the letter folded up in there.

Suddenly, he could picture Liam’s face. He could picture the sympathy and guilt in his eyes. He could picture Liam trying to politely let him down and apologising to him for what happened. He could picture how weird things would be from now. How he would tell Hayden and then Hayden would tell the others and the whole office would know. How people would all look at him after that. 

They say it only takes thirty seconds of insane courage to change your life, but for Theo, it was thirty seconds of overwhelming fear.

He reached out, grabbing the note and slipping it into his back pocket. 

Liam went through the gifts, all bright and happy and excited about his best friend’s gift.

He laughed at Theo having kept the salt packet. He happily put the zoo pamphlet up on his desk. He showed nothing but appreciation and happiness for everything Theo had done, letting on no sign of knowing it was anything more than true friendship. Theo adored the boy, adored how happy he seemed, adored how he could remember each inside joke instantly as he saw it. His heart soared when Liam put the yearbook photo in his wallet happily, clearly glad to own it, planning to keep it on him. 

But in Theo’s joy, his eyes drifted to his best friend’s desk, where he saw a set of returned invitations and a little list of guests. Any hope he felt deflated instantly.

He was not Liam’s. Liam was not his. He had no right to take anything away from his happiness with Hayden and his wedding and he just couldn’t do it. 

Instead, he would watch on with pride at how his best friend loved his gift, how innocent he was of Theo’s pining and hide how it broke his heart to see Liam in love with someone else.


	8. Make You Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek gives Theo some sage advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise Chapter 8, I guess because I have no self control! 
> 
> I'm going to start working on 9 today, but... 9 is definitely going to be a big one! 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

The wedding was getting closer, and Theo was finding it harder and harder to think about. 

Liam had mentioned him being a groomsman once more since and Theo didn’t think he could do it. 

That was how he found himself, a month out from their wedding, on the phone to someone who could help him to plan a holiday. He didn’t know where he wanted to go, he only knew that he had to get the hell out of here or he was going to go insane. He couldn’t be in town for the wedding. He couldn’t stand by Liam’s side and watch him marry someone else. He couldn’t do it.

He didn’t know where he wanted to go, he just knew he needed out. He would get in his truck and just leave if he had to. Drive until he hit water and then keep going somehow. 

Still, he had the helper sending him a bunch of packages so he could leave for the week of their wedding and the week of their honeymoon. He didn’t know what he wanted to do, really, but he just knew he needed an excuse not to be here, even though he was sure it would hurt Liam for him to be gone. 

It was around 11am, and Theo had barely spoken to Liam at all. He could see Liam pouring tea from his blue teapot out of the corner of his eye, and while he wanted to be happy, to feel special and loved, all it did was make him feel sad. 

Sad because he loved Liam, and he knew he would do anything for him, but he also knew his time was running out. Soon, any hope would be fully dead, and Liam would wear a ring on his finger. 

At that point, maybe Theo would finally be able to move on. Or maybe he would spend the rest of his life regretting the note he never gave him. It currently resided in his wallet, Theo too afraid to give it away, but too afraid to throw it out. Throwing it out felt like admitting it was over. Admitting that he would never ever have Liam and that he would no longer try.

As much as Theo wanted to tell himself it was over and he had accepted that— he hadn’t really accepted that. 

Theo glanced up from what he was doing — going through the packages — when an IM came through. 

Come to my desk. 

Theo glanced up at Liam, who was ushering him over. As much as Theo had been avoiding Liam, he was too weak to deny the beckon. 

He walked up to the desk, arms folding casually, looking above Liam’s head to avoid looking at him.

“You never told me whether you’d be my groomsman.” Liam said casually, but Theo could hear the tinge of vulnerability to his tone. Nearly everything was planned or on route to being planned and Liam was still holding hope that Theo would stand beside him.

Theo couldn’t do it.

He should have told Liam sooner, put him out of his misery, but until now he hadn’t realised how deeply it would hurt him to be there. To watch as someone pronounced them man and wife and they kissed and started their futures together. 

“Uh… actually, I’m going on a trip.” Theo said awkwardly, swallowing. 

Liam’s brows furrowed. “A trip? You never go on vacation or even take days off… When?” He asked.

Theo swallowed. “February 1st.” 

He watched in horror as the shock registered on Liam’s face. Watched the range of emotion run over his features. Confusion. Betrayal. Anger. Sadness. Ultimately, it seemed to settle somewhere between annoyed and deeply hurt and Theo hated that look.

“You’re going to be gone for my wedding.” He spoke the words into existence and Theo stared at the desk, picking at it uselessly with his thumb. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I am.” He didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t like Liam could possibly believe it was an accident. “I just… I just really needed to get away.” He admitted, though it was a half truth. “I never take breaks, like you said and…”

“And so you had to take a break during my wedding?” Liam asked, settling at more angry than sad now. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, but—”

“Hey, babe.” It might be the first time in Theo’s entire life that he was happy to see Hayden. It was an out.

“Raeken, why is it when I come in here you’re always chatting up my boyfriend?”

“Fiancé.” Theo didn’t expect the word to come out of his mouth, but it did.

Both Liam and Hayden gave him looks. Liam’s was puzzled, while Hayden’s was more irritated. 

“Same thing.” She answered with a shrug and Theo decided it was time to escape this. 

“Well, I best be going. I have lunch plans.” He decided, though he didn’t. 

“With who?” Liam asked, clearly still upset with him and trying to call his bluff.

“Me.” A voice filled in and Theo almost sighed with relief out loud. Thank whomever for Derek Hale. The out he needed.

“Derek.” He echoed with a smile. 

“You’re not his only friend in the office, Dunbar.” Derek said the words as playfully as Derek ever said anything, making it clear he wasn’t being malicious in his comment. 

Theo just waved awkwardly and took off working, leaving his coat and most of his things behind, equipped with only his phone and wallet.

Thankfully Derek was more prepared and they took his car, but Theo didn’t feel like he could breathe until he left the office. And by then, the depth of his mistake had hit him in the form of watching frost come from his breath. Just a shirt was a bad mistake, but hey, it was better than being in there. Being with them.

When they were in the car, a safe distance from the office, Theo began to notice the obvious. Derek wanted to say something to him. 

“What are you doing, man?”

Theo sighed. He didn’t even know how Derek knew about it all, but he did. Seemingly paying more attention than any of the others. Than Theo himself maybe.

“How’d you even know?” Theo asked, mildly suspicious but really just sad and sort of embarrassed.

“Theo, no offence, but… you’ve followed him around like a lovesick puppy since the beginning. Even when you said you hated the kid, you just gravitated around him constantly. Then it was like something hit you and now… You know you’re doing it, but Theo, nobody wins out of this.”

He was right. Theo knew he was right. But his heart and his head were acting totally differently at that point, and he didn’t know how to stop it.

“I didn’t know.” Theo finally answered, his voice quiet. “I didn’t know at all till I saw the ring.”

Derek sighed from the drivers’ seat, but neither looked at the other. Derek because he was a responsible driver and Theo because he felt weirdly ashamed and stupid. 

“Yeah, that did change things. I didn’t think it was that serious.” Derek admitted with a sigh, “But you’ve had… years to say something. You’re not planning a romantic comedy disruption to the wedding, are you?”

He asked the question sarcastically, and Theo snorted in response.

“Hell no. I won’t even be in the country. I will be far away on a beach with a cocktail, pretending I don’t know that the love of my life is marrying someone else.” 

“The love of your life?” Derek didn’t miss a beat.

“I… I don’t know. Maybe that’s stupid, I’ve never even kissed him, but… This is different. I’ve had relationships before, but they’re not… they’re not him.” 

Derek took a long, deep sigh as he pulled into the parking lot of some fast food chain restaurant nearby the office. 

“Look, I… wasn’t sure whether or not I should say this, but…”

Theo had no idea where this was going. What did Derek know that he didn’t.

“You’re my closest friend in the office.” They weren’t that close, but neither Theo or Derek got that close to most workers. “And I don’t want you to go. Really. But… there’s a branch manager position open. It’s better pay, out of state and you’d be a shoe-in to get it. No more answering to a boss, you’d only answer to corporate. No more shitty sales calls and… no more staring at Liam.” 

Theo blanked for a second, eyes glazing over. This was Derek’s plan? To send him interstate? To take Liam out of his line of sight so Theo would be forced to stop self sabotaging and pining day in and day out. 

“I don’t know… There’s no guarantee I’d even get that job and I’d have to find a new apartment and my sister lives here and I grew up here and—”

“And Liam’s here?”

“Well… yeah.”

“Look, it’s up to you. I can’t force you into this and I wouldn’t want to. But it’s hard to watch you do this every day, and it’ll only be worse when he’s married. I talked to Allison and—”

“You talked to Allison? When? About what?” Theo cut in, confused and mildly afraid of where this was going. 

“About you. About how I thought you should be considered for the job. You have the best sales numbers in the company most quarters and everyone likes you. Scott would give you a glowing recommendation.”

“... And?” Theo wasn’t sure he wanted to know, but he had to. What did any of this mean for him? 

“She said you’d be a shoe-in. She said they had been eyeing you for a leadership position anyway and that she was glad to see your coworkers thought so highly of you.” Derek’s expression was unusually soft and kind. Theo hated it. He hated the pity. He hated knowing that everyone seemed to know except him. 

“Why are you doing all this?” Theo asked, his voice quiet. They had migrated inside during the conversation and Theo now found himself sitting at a table, picking at food he barely wanted, too wrapped up in the conversation to really have noticed anything else. 

Derek sighed. “Because I know how it feels. To be in love with someone and not be able to be with them. I’ve been there before. It was really hard and painful, but I got over it. You… it’s been five years and you’re not over it. I don’t think you ever will be until you and he are… a memory in the back of your mind.”

It hurt to hear, but Theo thought Derek might be right. That maybe it was best for him to leave, to get out of this shithole town and away from Liam and find something better. Someone better.

He tried to imagine such a person, but came up blank. All he could imagine were Liam’s eyes, staring up at him with love in them, rather than friendship. 

The rest of the lunch, they barely discussed any of that, instead talking about more benign things. Sports teams, sales numbers, the basketball game, Derek’s annoying tenants. 

When it was time to go, Theo was feeling a little better. A little less alone. Getting back to the car was tougher, Theo was frozen and his cheeks had gone totally read, his nose basically belonging on a Rudolph calendar. 

Derek slid his coat off his shoulders, handing it to Theo.

Theo’s eyes widened, shaking his head. “Uh, no, I can’t take that.” He said quickly, horrified. “You need it.”

Derek shook his head. “I have my suit jacket under and a scarf. You’re only wearing a thin shirt. You’re going to get sick.”

Theo reluctantly took the coat, letting out a sigh of relief when he wrapped it around his body.

“You’re a good friend, you know that?”

“I try.” Derek told him with a fond smile.

The drive back was uneventful, but Theo kept on thinking about Derek’s suggestion. It’d be nearly double the money. A fresh start. A new life. 

No pining. No sadness. No pranks. No Liam.

Walking back into the office, Liam shot Theo a puzzled look, eyeing the coat he wore, clearly not his own. He had offered to give it back to Derek once inside, but Derek insisted he keep it till he warmed up and no longer looked like a rosy-cheeked kid from a Christmas movie. 

It took Theo only a few minutes to decide to call Allison himself, to discuss the job. He took himself off into the meeting room, closed the door and called her.

“Theo, good to hear from you.” She greeted immediately, caller-ID clearly doing its job.

“Good afternoon, Allison.” He began, headed down the route of formality. 

“I assume you’re calling about the Manager job?” She asked, polite and to the point as always.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I am.” He supposed he could’ve answered that better.

“Great. Derek gave us a heads up that he thought you’d be perfect and frankly, we agree. You’re a standout applicant and a solid worker. I’ve talked to my colleagues and they agree. The job is yours if you want it.”

This was the easiest job Theo had ever gotten in his life and he wasn’t even sure if he wanted it.

He took a second to breathe before answering, “Can I have some time to think it over?”

“Of course.” Allison’s reply was kind and polite. No hint of judgement in her tone. “I suppose we can discuss further tomorrow evening.”

“Tomorrow evening?” Theo repeated, confused. 

“The Casino Night Scott is throwing? Or do I have the wrong date?”

It hit Theo then that he’d totally forgotten. The Casino Night. Raising money for gambling addictions. Still stupid, but he and Liam had gone out looking for supplies for it ages ago now. 

“Oh, no, you have the right date. I forgot about it.” He admitted, “But yes, I will be there. I didn’t realise you were coming.”

There was a moment of silence before she admitted, “Scott invited me.”

It was sweet, Theo thought, so he didn’t make any comment. 

“Well, wonderful. Let’s talk more then.” She stopped for a moment, then added, “But Theo? This is a big opportunity and plenty of others want it, so we’ll need to know by Monday at the very, very latest. Preferably tomorrow night.”

“Tomorrow night.” Theo agreed, nodding, though he knew she couldn’t see it. 

They said their goodbyes and Theo returned to his desk, typing up a quick message to Derek to explain. 

When he glanced back up, Liam was standing by his desk. That was more unusual, it was normally Theo going to Liam’s desk.

“So… never thought I’d see you wearing Derek’s jacket… That’s cute.” Theo glanced up, and put on his best appearance of a smirking, uncaring coworker.

“You jealous, Dunbar?” He teased and Liam quickly shook his head.

“Not at all. You look very cozy. It’s nice.” He paused, clearing his throat awkwardly. “I’m sorry I got pissed earlier. I just… it’s not going to be the same without you there.”

Like that, he dropped a piece of paper onto Theo’s desk, grabbed his hand in a one-second, presumably reassuring squeeze and turned back to his desk. Theo just blinked in his wake, confused. His hand tingled and his heart beat fast.

He looked down at the drawing and saw himself. 

Red nose and cheeks, bright green eyes, big coat. Liam had just done this. Just since he got back.

Theo had to take this job.


	9. You're Gonna Wanna Be My Best Friend, Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo confesses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, this is a big one.
> 
> Don't hate me, I promise there's more coming...
> 
> Can't promise it'll be good, but there's more of it coming :')
> 
> As always, please feel free to let me know what you're thinking!

Theo didn’t really want to go to Casino Night at all. 

He knew he would be spending all day setting up the warehouse with everyone else, with Liam and Hayden, with a bunch of people who now knew -- or at least thought they knew -- how he felt. 

But he’d agreed to talk to Allison at the casino night, and he figured that was more important than hiding from his problems. Or, maybe more accurately, he could avoid his feelings for one day and then have to face it all forever onwards, or deal with one uncomfortable night and potentially escape this in the foreseeable future. He didn’t want to not see Liam everyday anymore, but he couldn’t keep breaking his own heart like this. 

So there he was, helping set up tables and moving things around, keeping to himself as much as possible.

When he saw Derek arrive, he jogged over to him, holding the coat out. “Thank you again,” He began with a smile, “For the coat. For letting me use it yesterday.”

Derek looked at him, seemingly confused, then looked down at the coat in his arms.

“Oh.” Had he forgotten about it? “You can keep it. It’s kinda small on me.”

Theo raised his brows, an amused smile pulling at his face, glad to have another friend in the office. “It’s kinda small on you? You’re not even bigger than me. Why don’t you want it back?” He held it out again, and Derek batted it away.

“You’re sure as hell shorter than me.” 

Theo mimicked being angry, a hand on his forehead as if scandalised. “I am not that much shorter than you!”

“You are.” He said seriously, nodding at him. Theo made to shove him, but Derek knocked him back before he could, leaving Theo stumbling backward, a grin on his face. 

They were both laughing, and Theo almost forgot for a minute how awful this day was going to be. 

Then someone spoke and the laughter immediately died, both men shaken from their moment of joking amusement. 

“What the hell are you guys doing?” Liam asked, seeming unsure whether to be amused or concerned. They were both sobered up again though, neither behaving quite as silly as they had been before.

“I’m trying to give his coat back,” Theo explained, shrugging. “He keeps not taking it, so I’m trying to force him.” He said it casually, as if it were nothing, but Liam still looked confused.

“Oh… cool. I was hoping you guys were doing something more fun than everyone else, because I’m sick of watching the warehouse people pretend to move stuff around but just stand over the same two boxes and talk about football.” 

Liam himself was sporty, so if he was getting bored of the sports talk, it must have been going on for a while. It pissed Theo off a bit to think they were doing more work than the warehouse people, who’s actual job all this was, but he didn’t comment on that, not wanting to make things uncomfortable. 

They got working again, and the day moved on. Boxes and tables and chairs set up, streamers put out, poker tables set up. 

In truth, he didn’t really want to be there. He didn’t really want to do this. But frankly, he had no choice, and at the very least, he had someone to hide behind, since Derek was sort of consciously staying on his side now. 

When Liam had gone off to Hayden and he was alone with his friend, he began to speak, hushedly. 

“I talked to Allison.” He told him, which finally properly got Derek’s attention. 

“And what did she say?” 

“She said it’s mine if I want it. And that we can talk more about it tonight.” He explained, semi-nervous, but knowing Derek would help to persuade him it was a good idea, which frankly, was what he needed. He wasn’t sure he could even really do it without someone reminding him why it was a good idea.

“That’s awesome, man. Just remember, it’s better pay. It’s a better job. You’ll meet someone else.” He reminded, reassuringly. Theo nodded his head, grateful for the reminder. It helped to hear it out loud, to have it confirmed to him.

By nightfall, everyone had changed, gotten ready for the event. Theo wore a nicer suit, with a white button down under it, no tie.

When he returned to the place, he returned alone, and looked around. People filled the place now, most of them people Theo didn’t know. He could see Lydia and Stiles playing poker in the corner with a few people he didn’t know.

He could see Derek and Scott, standing aside from everyone else, having a conversation. He could find Kira, talking with Malia and Nolan.

There were others he couldn’t see, but he jumped when he felt hands on him. Then his eyes were covered, and he heard a quiet voice say, “Guess who?”

“Stiles? I’d know your soft hands anywhere.” He joked, turning to see Liam standing behind him, smiling brightly up at him. 

For a moment, he forgot how to breathe. Liam had shaved, his hair was styled a little more than usual, albeit it still looked natural, not covered in product or overstyled. He wore a blue button down shirt and black jeans and he looked… good. Happy. He looked better than Theo himself was expecting, even being as acclimated to Liam as he was. He looked happy and unusually confident and himself.

“Did you know that I’m a master of poker?” Liam asked, and Theo just laughed in response. Somehow he couldn’t imagine Liam, who was always so emotive -- at least to him, that was -- as a great poker player, but Theo wasn’t going to turn down the opportunity to play with him. To have these moments with him. 

“I mean, no, I didn’t know-- and I don’t believe you either, for that matter.” Liam feigned offence, shook his head at the taller boy.

“Well, I’m going to take all your money and then you’re going to have to believe me.”

They moved to a table, sat across from each other. There were others with them, some visibly less involved in the game than others. 

A few games later, they were still there. People came and went, Theo and Liam played like they were the only two there.

Still, Liam and Theo were staring into each others’ eyes, both with wide, uncontrollable grins on their faces. Neither blinked, neither moved. Theo was trying to figure out whether or not Liam was bluffing and frankly, it was harder than he expected. Liam didn’t flinch, didn’t move. He just stared Theo directly in the eye and smiled.

Theo wanted to stop grinning, wanted to stop looking at him, wanted to stop the obvious feeling that he was being drawn in. That he couldn’t compete with the desire to remain here, in Liam’s line of sight, trapped in this moment, in his gaze. 

He wanted Liam to look at him like this forever. To be so focused on him that nobody else was in the room. 

“You’re bluffing.” He finally managed, still smiling.

Liam turned his cards over. Everyone around them cheered and Theo moaned in frustration. 

“Okay, fine, I conceded. You are better at poker than me.” 

“Pay up, Raeken.” He grinned, holding a hand out to Theo, who handed the chips over with a nod. 

Theo felt trapped there, like he couldn’t leave Liam’s side even if he wanted to.

Which was exactly why he had to go. He caught sight of Allison, talking to Scott a ways away and got to his feet, reluctantly leaving Liam and the table behind. He vaguely heard Liam call out to him above the music, but he pretended not to, pushing quickly through the crowd to get to Allison.

“Theo! Just the man I was looking for,” She greeted warmly as he approached. “I was just telling Scott about the position and that we’d offered it to you.”

Theo glanced at Scott, wondering whether he should have told him himself. 

“I’m really happy for you,” Scott filled in brightly, and Theo really wondered how informed his reaction was by what he knew about Theo’s feelings for Liam. “I think you should do it.” 

Scott had told Theo he shouldn’t give up, but now he was saying he thought Theo should go. It was another push, and Theo took that seriously. 

Theo glanced up, back at the table, where Liam and Hayden were now side by side, her arms around him. He was in the process of kissing her head, and Theo’s eyes snapped away before he could see anymore than a snapshot of the scene. 

“I’m going to take it.” Theo said seriously. “I’m going to take the job. Thank you so much for the opportunity.”

“Beautiful. When can you start?” Allison asked brightly.

They exchanged a few more details, deciding Theo would start the following week, that Corporate would put him up in a hotel until he could find residence there. Theo was weirdly excited, but he couldn’t stop a growing feeling of dread as well. He realised now he was going to have to, at some point, tell Liam he was leaving. Tell everyone, besides Derek and Scott, who knew through their own means. 

He shared a drink with Scott and Allison to celebrate, before he saw himself out. He realised that the two of them had something going on, and far be it from him to stop someone else from finding a workplace love just because his wasn’t working out. 

He stayed in the party for a little longer, but he felt out of place. He played a game or two with Stiles, did a shot with Corey and Mason, and by about 10pm, he was ready to get the hell out of here. The party was really only just getting started, but Theo was getting overwhelmed. He was leaving. This was the end. He never even had to go back, especially since Scott had said he could come in on the weekend to clean out his things. 

He had no lingering responsibility to even be at the party at all.

He stood outside for a second, leaning against his car, unwilling or unable to leave just yet. Something kept pulling him back. Some pulling, nagging feeling in his gut.

He nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Allison’s voice approaching him. He had been fixated on watching a tree blow in the night breeze, black against the inky blue sky. 

“Have you told anyone yet?” She asked, her voice surprisingly empathetic, especially considering (as far as he knew) she knew nothing of his situation.

“No.” Theo admitted, “I’m still trying to figure out… how to do it. Who to tell.” He explained quietly, eyes flickering up to meet his boss’s. She was his direct boss now, he realised. 

She nodded, “I know it can be hard.” She said quietly, “But uh… you’re going to be gone by Monday. May as well just say whatever you need to say.” She couldn’t know how relevant her advice was, unless Scott had told her about it, but it was. He would be gone by Monday, and he was going to lose Liam either way. He may as well… at least try. If nothing else, just so he wouldn’t have to spend his entire life wondering what might have happened if he had been just a little braver. Just a little more vulnerable. 

“You’re right. Thanks, Allison.” He said with a half smile.

“You’ll regret what you didn’t do more than you’ll regret what you did.” She told him with a half smile, patting him on the shoulder and heading back inside. Maybe Scott had told her. Theo supposed it didn’t matter now. Everyone else knew anyway, and he was leaving.

He began walking back towards the party when he caught sight of Liam and Hayden up ahead. Hayden was in the car and Liam stood beside it, leaning in the window. He couldn’t hear what they were saying at first, but he was fairly certain they had been kissing a moment before.

As he got closer, he could hear them more. He had to walk past the car to get back inside, so that was something he’d have to deal with anyway. 

“You don’t have to go, y’know?” Liam was saying, his voice quiet and obviously a bit upset about it.

“I know, but I don’t… really like any of them and my friends are going to the pub instead. You can come with us instead…?” Hayden offered. Liam’s face screwed up, and Theo could tell he hadn’t taken the comment well.

“No. I’m going to stay here. With my friends.” He said, frustrated. 

Hayden caught sight of Theo, wound down her other window, and called out. “Take care of my boy, will ya?” She called out. Theo blinked at her, confused. He was so sure she was threatened by him in some capacity. She’d been weirdly competitive with him, but the way she approached him was wildly inconsistent. Going between telling him she was happy Liam had Theo to treating him like a bug, something in the way of their relationship. 

“Uh, sure.” Theo said with an awkward nod of his head, his hands shoved in his pocket, suddenly wishing he had just gotten in his car and driven away when he had the chance. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to see Liam, he always did. It was that seeing Liam meant dealing with leaving Liam, and that was far harder.

Hayden drove away and Liam stood awkwardly for a second, looking small and sad where he stood, arms folded over his chest, almost protectively. He looked at Theo, his eyes betraying a sense of sadness, before he put on a grin, jogging towards Theo. They were still standing mid parking lot, and no one else was around.

This was dangerous. Theo had been drinking, granted he wasn’t drunk, but he had enough to feel a little liberated of his fears. He was leaving soon and Liam was getting married soon. His time was running dangerously thin, and Theo didn’t want to accidentally say or do something he’d regret in the morning.

He didn’t want his heart crushed tonight. 

“So, Raeken, you ready to go back inside and give me all your money?” He teased, rolling forward onto the balls of his feet and then back again.

His grin was 100-watts and his cheeks and nose were rosy from the cold. Theo supposed he likely looked exactly the same. He wasn’t wearing his coat -- again -- and he’d likely be sick in the morning, but adrenaline fuelled him.

All he could think about was Liam. Liam and his drawings. Liam and his laugh. Liam and his blue eyes. Liam, helping him with pranks and texting him every ten minutes when they weren’t at work. Liam, sprawled out on his bed, laughing at his yearbook pictures. Liam, biting down on his bottom lip while he stared piercingly at Theo’s face, getting the details just right as he drew him. Liam, jumping into his arms when he found out about Art School in New York. Liam, smiling every time they caught each others’ eyes from across the room.

Theo’s entire consciousness was consumed with Liam and he suddenly felt sick. He felt overwhelmingly out of control of himself, like he wouldn’t be able to breathe until he just said it. 

He felt like his heart was on fire.

“I’m in love with you.”

The words came out weirdly conversational, quiet. The words felt so far detached from him, and he supposed that was a defence mechanism, because Theo knew, he knew what Liam was about to say and he desperately didn’t want it. He couldn’t stand here, in the freezing cold parking lot and cry in front of him. He couldn’t do that. 

“What?” Liam’s reply was abrupt, his eyes blown wide, totally unreadable. All Theo would find there was confusion and nothing more. He could see no sign of any response, of any understanding. Of anything.

“I’m in love with you. I’m sorry if that’s… weird for you to hear, but I had to say it. I had to say it because you’ll be married soon and because you’re my best friend and because… I’m in love with you.”

A few beats of silence passed. Then a few more. Theo was blessedly free from tears thus far, but he knew. He knew he couldn’t hold this forever. He could feel the emotion building in the pit of his stomach, feel the lump in the back of his throat. 

“Theo, I--” He could see it now. Guilt. Empathy. Regret. Discomfort. This was what he had dreaded. “I really care about you and I still want us to be--”

“Don’t. Don’t do that.”

“--Friends.”

The tears broke from Theo’s eyes, as he knew they would, and he couldn’t keep his voice from wavering. “Don’t do that. I don’t want to be friends, I want-- I want to be more than that.”

But there was something else in Liam’s eyes too. Theo couldn’t place it, couldn’t name it. It gave him hope, in some small amount. Not enough though. Not enough to stop his heart breaking in Liam’s hands. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. If I… gave you the wrong impression or if you… misinterpreted things.”

Theo needed to be gone. He needed to be out of this place. He needed to leave. 

“Right.” Theo wiped the tears away harshly, trying hard to hide the embarrassment and vulnerability that built in him. “Sorry for… misinterpreting things.” He turned to walk off, unsure where he was going. He wound up sitting alone by the tree, where he had after the basketball game.

Time felt like it had stopped moving, and it felt like hours had passed when he decided he couldn’t just sit here. He knew where Liam would be. Where he would’ve gone in a moment like this. It couldn’t end here. It couldn’t. He had to be sure. He had to really know.

He jogged up to the office and, walking into the room slowly, was able to hear some of Liam’s muttered conversation.

“Just now.” A pause. “I don’t know, Mom. He’s my best friend.” Another pause. A sigh. Liam sounded emotional. Overwhelmed. “Yeah, I… I think I do.” 

Theo stepped into the room, making his presence known to Liam, who turned on the spot. His eyes were ringed red with tears, seeming to swim and shine even bluer. 

Theo hated him for looking so beautiful even now.

"I-- I have to go, Mom. I'll-- I'll call you back." Liam clumsily hung the phone up, barely moving his eyes from where they were locked on Theo's.

Theo took a few quick steps closer, until there was barely an inch between them, his face only just in front of Liam’s. He took a deep breath, a steadying one.

Thirty seconds of insane courage.

“Tell me if you don’t want me to kiss you.”


	10. I Wanna Be The One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo deals with the repercussions of his confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aye, we finally got here, Theo's last POV chapter! The next will be Liam's, so we'll finally get to see his side of things.
> 
> Hope you enjoy this chapter, I'm sorry for the cliffhanger xox
> 
> As always, please feel free to leave any and all feedback!

Theo hugged Derek, arms tight around the taller man. Derek and he had had a quick conversation about what happened. He knew the basics. He knew Theo couldn’t stay. He promised not to tell. He promised to text him. 

“You know as soon as I have a job opening, I’m going to try to poach you?” Theo joked, desperately clinging to any dignity he had left, if he even had any left at this point.

He knew Derek well enough to know the older man wasn’t judging him. He was the reason Theo had a lifeline out of town, after all. Derek didn’t do the pitying eyes and guilt smiles. Theo knew he felt for him, but he never made him feel small about it. Theo needed that. He needed a friend right now.

“Are you sure you want to drive it?” Derek asked, ever the voice of reason. “I’m sure Corporate would pay to put you on a plane?”

Theo just shook his head. “Nah. I have to drive all my stuff up there and besides, I could use the time to think. I’ve got my playlist all ready, all my shit is packed— thanks again for your help on that, by the way. Everything’s going to be fine. I even know where I’m stopping for the night tonight before morning.”

Derek nodded his response, but seemed wary of Theo’s plans. Probably he was worried Theo wasn’t thinking clearly, but They knew he was fine.

He was… heightened emotionally, but he was fine.

“So, uh, only you and Scott know I’m leaving.” He admitted finally, “I only accepted the job Friday night and… well, I didn’t really see anyone else after. Cleaned my desk out Saturday, cleaned out my apartment Sunday. It’ll just be like I was never there.”

Derek thought for a moment. “What do you want me to tell him?” He asked softly.

“You don’t have to.” Theo put on his best, most convincing smile. “I left the drawings behind on his desk. He’ll figure it out straight away.” He answered casually, closing the boot of his car.

Parting with the drawings had been painful for Theo. He’d looked through them in great detail. The way Liam drew his smile, crooked and bright. The way he drew his eyes, in some pictures grey and in others, green. Theo was never really sure himself was colour they were, so he appreciated Liam’s attempts to figure it out and narrow it down.

His favourite was still the first. The one he’d been most tempted to keep and take with him. 

It had been a good sketch. Noticeably him, even from a distance. He had looked grumpy in it. Liam made him look like an abercrombie model, though he considered himself far from it. He had drawn a clenched muscle in his jaw, drawn Theo’s eyes staring ahead with an intensity. Theo had been impressed by how Liam had captured his mood. By how he had captured him. 

He had become obsessed with every one since. Not all of them were the same though. Once, he did one just of Theo’s hands. He had flushed when Theo caught him doing it and admitted he needed more practice drawing hands. His eyes alone, on more than one occasion. Usually either staring straight ahead or crinkled from smiling. Theo thought Liam made him look better than he was. 

His whole body had been there more than once too. Not naked, thankfully, since Theo wouldn’t have coped with that at all, but leaning against the kitchen bench, coffee in hand, smiling over at Kira. Kira wasn’t in the picture, but Theo remembered the day well. 

Theo had never cared too much for his own face, until Liam had begun drawing it. It looked different through Liam’s eyes. Theo yearned to know more about how he looked through Liam’s eyes. 

But the drawings were a reminder. He didn’t need a reminder, he needed a fresh start. Beautiful drawings though they were, Theo couldn’t look at them anymore. They brought pain with them.

“I’ll miss you, man.” Derek finally said.

Theo smiled, “Aw, Der-bear. I didn’t know you cared.”

The older man sneered, “You make me regret it constantly. Go away now.” Theo grinned, happy to take the less emotional out.

He got in his car, waved a final goodbye to his friend, and drove away.

The drive was long, but Theo had a lot of time to think. Time to recap everything in his mind. Time to replay Friday night in the office over and over again.

By the time he arrived, over twenty-four hours later, Theo felt overwhelmed and tired. 

He’d lived on junk food and overeating since he left and anytime he closed his eyes, all he saw was Liam. Liam standing in the parking lot, looking at him like the world was falling and he had no idea what to move.

Liam in the office, staring up at him, eyes wet and scared. 

Liam on the phone to his Mom. ‘I think I do.’ What the hell had that meant? Hard as Theo tried, he could only think of one real question that could fit the answers before it. 

Do you love him?

Maybe it was wishful thinking, but he kept imagining it. Over and over again. 

He got to his new office and met his new team first thing Monday morning. They were all enthusiastic. Good workers. Sweet people. He liked them already. Theo got to meet his new number two. A man around his age but far taller, Theo thought his name was Josh. 

He got set up in his new office, put his things out. There wasn’t much, he didn’t bring much with him really. He supposed he could fill it as he went, as he figured out what kind of manager he’d be. 

As the day wore on and Theo got acquainted with his new life here, he found himself glancing again and again at the reception desk. The girl that sat there was far older than Liam. She was sweet, and seemed hardworking, but she wasn’t Liam. If he wasn’t careful, he’d freak her out looking at her. It was a force of habit.

He stared down at his calendar and wished, for the first time since leaving, that he hadn’t returned the drawings to Liam. He would kill for one right now. Kill for a picture of them even. But he had scrubbed his phone of his best friend (the photos backed up on a hard drive at the bottom of a box he intended never to unpack). He had scrubbed his life of him.

With time, he hoped the blue eyes would fade away. But for right then, all Theo could do was remember. Remember in excruciating detail what had happened when he had kissed Liam Dunbar. 

*

Liam’s eyes bored into Theo’s, and he didn’t speak. He didn’t tell him to stop. He didn’t say anything.

Theo was slow about it, giving Liam enough time to stop him. Enough time to say no. But there was nothing.

Theo’s eyes fluttered shut and he leaned forward, his lips pressing softly against Liam’s. His hands settled tentatively on Liam’s waist, squeezing a little without meaning to. His hands trembled and his stomach turned, but he couldn’t get over how lucky he felt. How lucky he felt just to be this close. Just to be allowed to touch him in any way.

He needed this closure. He needed to just know. Know if there was anything at all. If there was any part of Liam that wanted him back. He needed to know if he’d ever had a chance here. 

For a second, for what felt like far too long, Liam didn’t react. For that second, Theo felt like he might explode, but then Liam was kissing him back.

Liam was kissing him back and it was everything Theo had ever wanted. He felt dizzy suddenly, felt like he never had before, like he was holding the whole world. 

He felt Liam’s arms wind around his neck and he wished he could just stay like this for the rest of his life.

His own arms snaked around Liam’s middle, pulling him closer against Theo. 

He didn’t know how long they kissed for. It felt like centuries. It felt like a split second. He never wanted to let go, he never wanted to go back to being across a room, to watching Liam from a distance, as a friend. This was so much better. This was where they were supposed to be. Theo would do anything to keep him here, to keep Liam in his arms.

It was a soft and gentle sort of kiss, tentative, like they were learning each other. As much as Theo wanted more, this seemed perfect. This wasn’t lust, it was love. At least, it was from him. It felt like it was from Liam too.

When they pulled back, and Theo couldn’t say who pulled away first, they both just stared at each other. Green stared into blue, no words, no movement. Their hands were entwined now, and Theo realised he’d never gotten to hold Liam’s hand before. How many times he’d wanted to…

“I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Theo let slip. His voice sounded giddy and overwhelmed even to himself, so he could only imagine how he must look and sound to Liam. 

God, how he would do anything for Liam.

“Me too.” Liam said softly. His cheeks were flushed with colour and his eyes were wide. He looked scared, but happy, and Theo hoped that could be enough.

Theo thought if he dropped dead right at that moment, he would die happy. 

“I think we’re just drunk.” Liam added and Theo’s heart plummeted. 

Theo blinked rapidly, confused. “Wait, I don’t understand. I’m not drunk. Are you drunk?” He was panicked now, the last thing he’d ever wanted was to take advantage. Liam hadn’t seemed drunk. 

“I’m not either.” His eyes were big and sad. He looked lost and forlorn and suddenly Theo got it. He wanted an excuse. He wanted an out.

Emotion crept into his voice again.

“You’re really going to marry her?” Theo had never heard his own voice sound so vulnerable before. 

He could imagine it. He could imagine Liam, eyes glassy with tears, standing in a tuxedo and watching Hayden come down the aisle. He could imagine her, dark hair curled and shiny, her face made perfect with makeup. He could imagine Liam saying ‘I do’ and he could imagine their first dance together. He could imagine Liam holding her tightly on the dance floor. He could imagine what their children might look like. He hated his own thoughts for forming, his own imagination for bringing these pictures to him, but it was too late to escape them. Theo felt like he wanted to cry again, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t put that guilt on Liam, and besides, he’d already cried too much tonight. He could cry himself to sleep later. 

Liam just nodded. It was tiny, nearly imperceptible. It was enough. He had tears in his eyes and Theo could swear he saw love there, but it wasn’t enough.

Theo loved Liam, but Liam loved Hayden more.

“Okay. That’s okay. I’m… I’m sorry for doing this.”

Theo turned to walk out and he could hear Liam call his name from behind him, but he didn’t stop. He got in his car and drove. He let the tears fall and he didn’t stop.

At least now, he could move interstate without ever wondering.

At least now he knew for sure. Liam would never be his.


	11. Now The Day Bleeds Into Nightfall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam deals with the repercussions of Theo's confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here we are! We're finally up to Liam's POV! Yay! I'm sorry if a lot of this feels a little bit like exposition, I just wanted to set up what was going on through his eyes and where we were in the story!
> 
> This is also a bit dialogue heavy, but it sort of had to be given the content!
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and as always, please feel free to leave any and all feedback :)

There were plenty of good reasons for Liam to call off his wedding. 

They had gotten together when they were just kids. They had nothing in common. Hayden cared more about her jetskis than about him. She didn’t get his art. They’d been engaged for a million years already. She had never really understood him. She had never been able to explain why she loved him specifically. 

If he was being honest, Liam couldn’t say anymore why he loved her specifically either.

He lay awake at night thinking about it. After Theo told him he loved him, Liam lay awake at night thinking about it. Two more nights passed before he couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“I can’t do this.” He had said.

“What? Can’t sleep? It’s probably because it’s only 9.30.” Hayden had answered him, focused on the tv in front of her.

“No. This. Us. The wedding. I can’t do it.” 

She had been furious. At first. At first, she had yelled and screamed and called him an asshole and told him to get the fuck out.

But then it had flipped. A few more days passed and she was calling him to apologise. Calling him to ask what had gone wrong, what she could do to change things. The answer, at the end of it all, was simple. There was nothing to be done. Liam’s heart wasn’t in it anymore, and he doubted that would ever change.

Time had passed. Theo was gone and time kept on moving. Liam learned how to be on his own again. He didn’t expect Theo to reach out to him, he had already made his mistakes. He had already wrecked the best thing he had in his life. That was fine.

After a month, he had sent Theo a message.

He told Theo that he was right, that Liam was not happy with his decisions. He told him he’d left Hayden, that they weren’t getting married. Theo had responded something to the effect of ‘Thanks for letting me know’ and nothing more. Liam hadn’t tried to reach out again after that. It was clear he had burnt his bridges.

Hayden went off the rails for a while. She was always drinking, always leaving him either angry or sad voicemails, but Liam didn’t want to hear it. He had always thought maybe he was dependent on her to be happy, but he realised now it was the toxicity of the situation that had kept him dependent.

He realised now he actually liked being on his own. Slowly, he had become more outgoing. Not a lot, but enough.

He became closer friends with those in the office, particularly Mason and Corey and began to try to spend more time out, rather than going alone to his new, crappy apartment. He couldn’t afford much, they’d spent too much on the wedding, but it was enough. It was his.

The worst part of it all, if he was honest with himself, was the gap Theo had left behind in his life. The chair that had once been his had now seen Nolan move into it. 

Liam would glance up often, expecting to see Theo, but finding Nolan’s profile instead. 

He still drew him sometimes, but it wasn’t the same. 

It wasn’t the same pranking Stiles on his own, though Liam kept up doing it in the hopes that Theo would at some point return and they’d do it together. 

Liam hated to admit that he’d been weak, but the truth of it was that. He had been weak. He had stayed with Hayden out of fear and obligation and he’d paid the price for that. He had been with her so long it felt like his only option, though he knew now that it wasn’t. He knew now that he could have had more, better, but it was too late. 

Six months passed, and things got a little better. Hayden stopped calling so much. She got really in shape and began looking after herself again.

Liam stopped looking at Nolan so much. He stopped drawing coworkers as often and started focusing on things, instead. A bird. A sunset. A building. A teapot.

Corey and Mason got engaged and asked Liam to be a groomsman. The whole ‘wedding’ thing was still a bit raw, but Liam had gotten really close to the two, so he was happy to do it, for them. 

Scott and Allison had slowly started to date, and while they kept it pretty lowkey, it was obvious how happy Scott was.

Nolan and Liam got closer too, by virtue of being seated nearer each other now and Liam’s penchant for screwing with Stiles. 

The world kept moving. Eventually, Liam sort of lost all hope in things going back to how they were before.

Sometimes someone would give him some information. Derek would tell him Theo was happy there or Scott would say he had seen him at some manager’s meeting in New York. Liam appreciated their caring, but it kind of made it worse. He was gone, like a ghost. Liam might’ve started to convince himself he’d imagined it all if not for the drawings Liam left behind. In truth, as soon as he saw them on his desk he knew he’d ruined everything. It only got worse when he realised he’d moved. Actually gone. Liam even checked his apartment to be sure, but it was totally vacant. 

Liam spent a lot of his time lost in his thoughts, a lot of his time feeling regret about how it had all gone down, but thankfully, Mason usually seemed to realise and pull him from it.

His friend leaned down over his desk, eyes on him. “What you doing?” Liam jumped, looking up at the other boy. 

“You scared the hell out of me!” Liam admitted, a laugh bubbling up. “I was just thinkin’.” 

Mason shot him a warm smile, maybe a little concerned. “Well, I IMed you.” He told him with raised brows, “I asked whether you wanted to go out for lunch with Corey and I?” 

Liam looked down at his computer, seeing the message. 

“Uh, yeah, man, sure.” 

“Did you hear about the rumours of downsizing?” Mason asked as they began to walk, Corey running to catch up with them. 

“Yeah,” Liam admitted, “Do you think it’ll be us? I mean, our numbers are still pretty good, right?” He asked. He doubted it would be him that got cut, since they needed a receptionist, but they were a small office. He wasn’t actually sure who could be cut.

“Don’t know, we did lose our best salesman recently.” Mason answered. Corey nudged him in the ribs and Mason yelped.

Liam sighed, realising what the topic of conversation meant. “It’s fine, I know losing Theo was a hit to our branch.” Liam answered easily, trying to sound casual. “Who would they even cut from us though?”

Corey and Mason both shrugged. “Warehouse people, maybe? Or maybe one of the departments with multiple people? It’d be hard to sack you, Corey or Nolan, since it’s just you guys doing your jobs. But there are multiple accountants, multiple salesmen, multiple warehouse workers.”

Liam shrugged, “In theory they could give Corey my job. He’s already Customer Satisfaction, they could just send all calls straight to him.”

“Don’t start with me, my job is enough already.” Corey answered, shaking his head.

The three of them laughed almost the whole way through their lunch, and Liam almost forgot about the rest of it. About his breakup, about how guilty he felt, about being cut off. 

He wondered if he should feel bad for crashing the couples’ lunch, but he hung out with them all the time and neither ever said anything. Besides, they could always be together at home, Liam went home on his own these days. 

On the way back to the office, there was a moment of silence and Liam realised something uncomfortable was about to happen. 

“So… have you heard from Hayden lately?”

Liam immediately sighed, “She said something to you?” 

They exchanged a look. “Just that you hadn’t been answering her texts.”

It was true, he hadn’t been. He didn’t want to be on bad terms, but he also felt like she wasn’t getting the hint that things were done. He was too weak, too sad for this stuff. He couldn’t handle being upset, he’d wind up caving, and he didn’t particularly want to cave when it came to this. 

“I’m happy to talk to her, I just… don’t want to feel guilty all the time.” He answered as tactfully as he could, knowing they’d take the message back. “You guys are meant to be on my side, y’know?”

Corey glanced back to the backseat, where Liam was sitting, head tipped, glaring a little.

“Relax, baby blue, we’re just trying to help. There are no sides. Did you ever call that other girl back? The one you went on the date with?”

Liam sighed and shook his head. He didn’t really want to get into it, but the truth was, it just wasn’t right. He had felt right before-- that wasn’t it. 

The rest of the day went mostly uneventfully. He had coffee with Nolan in the afternoon, laughed and joked about Scott’s newest event planned -- he always had something.

At ten past six, Liam was ready to finally go. He’d stayed back to finish some work, realising he was going home to an empty apartment anyway, when the phone rang.

“Dunder Mifflin, this is Liam.” 

There was a moment of silence.

“Oh… hi.” Liam sat up straighter, his blue eyes wide and fixed ahead of himself.

“Theo?” He asked, though he already knew the answer. It’d been six months, but he’d know his voice anywhere, even still. 

“I’m sorry, I was calling for Scott. Is he not in?”

Liam felt his heart race in his ears, and he wondered if Theo could hear it through the phone. It felt like a lifetime since he’d seen the other boy, and he desperately missed him. He had been able to numb it, but not right now. Not when he could hear his voice, as if he was right in front of him, leaning over his desk and grinning.

“No, it’s just me. Do you, uh, do you want me to take a message?” Liam sounded nervous. He could hear it in his own voice, he was sure Theo could too. He’d always been shit at hiding things, a total open book. He’d never been able to keep a thing from anyone, except perhaps himself. He had had no idea how he felt till it was too late.

“Um… no. No, that’s fine.” There was a moment of awkward silence, “So… how have you been?”

He was probably asking out of politeness, but Liam was so glad to talk to him, he didn’t care. He just started rambling.

“I’m-- I’m good. I’ve got a new apartment, but I have no idea how to decorate, so the whole place looks kind of dumb. If I owned it, I would just paint murals on all the walls, I think. But I mean, it’s a nice place. It’s not actually, it’s small and really gross, but it was all I could afford. What about you?”

“Good. It’s good. There’s no one as weird here as home. No weird love entanglements or Stiles’ to prank.” He said it with a hint of a laugh in his voice, and Liam felt his heart jump. Maybe all wasn’t lost after all, maybe they could still be friends.

“I moved Stiles’ desk a half inch every time he went to get coffee or to the bathroom or to lunch last week,” Liam admitted quietly, a little shy, but hoping to live up to Theo’s usual pranks. “By the end of the day, it was right near the copier. He got really mad.” He giggled into the phone, feeling stupid immediatley for doing so.

Theo laughed and Liam’s heart jumped. “Good one. You know what I always wanted to do? Come in at like 4am and move the whole thing into the bathroom. Set it up and everything, plug the computer and phone in. Then call him when he comes in and get him to sit in the toilet at his desk.”

Liam grinned brightly, and he wondered if Theo would be able to hear it in his voice. He always felt so… on display. He was too bad at hiding anything he was feeling. 

“I mean, I can do it and send pictures to you,” He offered, a little more hopeful than he wanted to sound.

“Yes!” Theo sounded excited now. “But if you do it, you have to make sure the whole thing is completely plugged in. Don’t half ass it, it’ll ruin the effect.” 

*

Hours passed, and Liam wound up laying on the floor, phone cord stretched down so he could go on talking.

“No, no, you don’t get it,” Liam was giggling into the phone. “The entire thing smashed over my head!”

“Li, that’s absolutely nuts. There’s no way that happened, you’re totally making it up.”

“No, I swear! I was so convinced the place was haunted, I nearly just gave up on having any money and left and paid the fees!”

“So what made you stay then?” Theo was laughing as he talked.

“No, don’t ask me that, it’s going to make me sound really, really stupid!”

“Why did you stay, Li?”

“There were doughnuts in the fridge.”

“You could’ve taken them with you!” Theo was laughing so hard Liam struggled to make out the words. 

“Theo, I have never claimed not to be stupid!”

* 

“Don’t pretend it’s not the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever heard,”

“Honestly, it could be like, a hundred times worse!”

“Dunbar, don’t lie to me. My pants ripped. On like, my second week. As a manager. I had to continue managing these people. They had seen my underwear.”

“Okay, but what underwear were you wearing?”

“They had puppies on them.”

Tears fell from Liam’s eyes, unable to hold onto his laughter despite his best efforts, “Okay, fine, I give, that’s pretty embarrassing. At least you would’ve seemed… cute and approachable?”

*

“I witnessed it!”

“I don’t believe you!”

“I swear to god, Dunbar, I witnessed it!”

“Prove it!”

“How?” 

“I don’t know! Send me pictures!”

“I didn’t take pictures!”

“Then I don’t believe you!”

“What?” Theo’s voice broke off, for a split second, and Theo heard him say, “No, no, I’m going--”

“Oh, you’re going?” Liam asked, his voice sounding a little too shy.

Theo’s reaction made it abundantly clear he hadn’t actually been telling Liam he was leaving, but it was too late, the words had already left Liam’s mouth, the two of them speaking over each other.

“Oh, no, I didn’t mean you, I was--”

“-- I should probably go too.”

“Oh. You’re going?” Theo asked.

“Um… yeah. Yeah, I should go. It’s like…” Liam held his wrist up and let out a quick laugh, “It’s like nearly eleven pm.” 

Theo swore, “Okay, you’re right, we should go. G’night, Dunbar.”

“Night, Raeken.” 

Liam pulled himself reluctantly back to his feet, hanging the phone up and getting all his things. He didn’t particularly want to leave the call. For a second there -- or for hours there -- it had started to feel normal again. Not a moment of awkwardness, it was like it always had been. They had had six months of time to catch up on, and they had jumped right back into talking like they’d known each other forever.

Liam’s heart felt full and heavy at the same time. He had had time with Theo, but that time couldn’t last. He wasn’t even sure if he would ever see his face again. It made him realise how deeply he missed the taller boy. It made him realise how badly he had fucked everything up.

He got into his car and turned on the radio. The pop song that blared out felt wrong, and Liam immediately turned it back off.

In his mind’s eye, Liam kept on thinking about that day. 

Theo in his suit, looking down at Liam with big, vulnerable eyes. The way he’d said he loved him. Liam didn’t think anyone had ever looked at him before.

He didn’t think anyone had ever been so gentle towards him. 

He thought about the way Theo had held onto him, how he had been shaking when they kissed. He thought about seeing the tears fall down his cheeks. He couldn’t picture any of it without crying himself, because how had he been so stupid? How had he handled things so wrong? 

The truth was, there had been a thousand good reasons for Liam to break off his wedding with Hayden.

But none of them had mattered to him except Theo.


	12. You're Not Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam reflects on his romantic relationships and learns some new information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is very introspective, because it's really just me catching you up to speed on Liam's point of view and how he is feeling about it all.

“I… don’t know,” Liam said, trying hard to be polite, but still feeling unsure.

“Well, we’ve finally run out of wedding meals to eat.” 

Liam nodded reluctantly. Every day since their wedding was supposed to be, Liam and Hayden had been bringing a heat up meal in to eat. They couldn’t undo the money they’d spent on a lot of things, so they had to find a way to use it instead.

It had been six months of the same two meals every day before they ran out, and honestly, it couldn’t have come soon enough for Liam. What he wasn’t expecting was Hayden to approach him and ask him out to lunch. In truth, he didn’t really want to say yes, but he was a pushover, and he felt a great deal of guilt.

“Uh… well, I actually brought food, but… we can go sit in the breakroom and eat together, if you want?” He figured that was safer, there was nothing romantic about sitting in a crappy plastic chair with coworkers, and he was pretty sure Corey and Mason, at the very least, would sit with him this way. 

“Sure,” She brightened visibly, and Liam felt another pang of guilt. Maybe he should’ve just gone with her. He had called things off so close to the wedding, and they had known each other forever. 

He thought about it sometimes, how they met and how that meeting changed things.

Liam had been an athlete. He was popular, but in a coincidental sort of way. People liked him because he was a good athlete and because he was friends with some popular kids, but he was never outgoing enough or confident enough to truly be one of them. 

Hayden was gorgeous. She’d never stopped being gorgeous. Liam had had a huge crush on her but had never been much good at approaching girls. 

A few weeks before their prom, Hayden had approached Liam. They’d never directly spoken before that, but he remembered she was well liked and too popular for him, and he was sporting a shiner from a particularly bad brawl during his last game. 

She had just taken his hand, written her address on it and told him he was going to get her a red corsage.

Liam went with her, they danced and laughed and had a good time and he had been pretty sure that was what love felt like.

But they were fifteen then. Just kids.

Time moved, they both grew. Liam nearly applied to art school but didn’t. Hayden went to college, Liam got a job so that they could afford to move out together soon. His dreams weren’t practical, and they needed to be practical in their economy. She had told him and he had accepted. 

In a weird way, Liam never got over the kid he used to be. He had been a loser. A shy kid with no friends, too short, voice too squeaky. By the time he was 15, his voice had broken, he’d gained muscle and started to look more like a man, but he didn’t know it. So much of his young adulthood had been defined by feeling like Hayden was out of his league, and therefore he’d be mad to leave her. 

She was eventually Senior Prom Queen and Liam watched her dance and take photos with someone else, telling himself he was just lucky to be there with her. 

She dumped him for a brief time when he first started at Dunder Mifflin. Said she wanted to understand more about who she was. She’d been off at college and Liam lived in their apartment on his own. It was tough, paying rent all by himself. It was about an eight month blip before she came back to him. Said she had done her exploring and she’d decided she wanted to be with him.

Liam had proposed only six months after that. They were barely 20 and too young to know for sure, but Liam felt it was the right thing to do, and he felt he was lucky to have her at all.

Then there was Theo. To say Theo had been a change in his life was an understatement. Aside from being the reason he realised he was bi (how had he ever not known?) he was also Liam’s first real best friend. In school, Liam had had friends, but never been close to anyone. 

He had Hayden, but she was popular, surrounded by friends and always out with her sister. He didn’t have any of that. Instead, he drew and painted, followed along behind them like the dutiful boyfriend. 

With Theo, Liam felt like he was genuinely seen. He felt like someone got him, valued what he had to offer. He supposed he had been selfish, but he truly hadn’t realised how much it meant to him. He truly hadn’t realised how much he meant to Theo. 

Theo telling him broke his heart, actually. 

The way his eyes had glossed over, the way he’d desperately tried to remain casual and detached. The way he had fidgeted with the belt loops of his pants and how he spoke just a little quieter than normal. 

Everything looked different in hindsight. All those times Liam had drawn him. All the times Theo had come to his desk with some brilliant idea for a prank. All the teas Theo made him and all the late night texts. The way Liam sometimes caught Theo staring at him.

He felt like a liar saying he’d had no idea, but it was the truth. Maybe on some level, he knew. Maybe on some level Liam knew he loved him back. But that level wasn’t a conscious one and consciously, he’d truly been unaware.

He remembered too, Theo’s face when he’d told Liam to tell him to stop. He remembered how close Theo had been. How if Liam had moved forward even slightly, they would’ve been touching. He remembered how badly he wanted to move forward.

Poor Theo, who had looked so determined, so vulnerable, so open. 

Liam broke his heart. 

The worst part was that he hadn’t even realised he was doing it. Not fully, not at the time. It was so much to take in, and it all felt like it happened so fast. If he’d had more time to understand… 

He couldn’t dwell on it. He’d lost Theo. He deserved to lose Theo. He hoped Theo could be happier. 

Hayden and Theo signified such different things in his mind, these days. Theo was someone who made Liam feel like enough as he was. Hayden was someone who made Liam feel like he was lucky, that he was punching above his weight. 

He could see it far clearer now. 

“Now?” Hayden asked, disturbing him from his thoughts. 

“Uh, yeah.” Liam got to his feet, pushing some of his hair back and moving to walk towards the break room, throwing Corey and Mason a look as he passed.

As he walked behind her, Liam realised Hayden had made an effort. She wore black slacks and a fancy seeming red top. Considering she was a warehouse worker, Liam figured that this was her trying. He felt bad that it was for his benefit, because really, they’d been together nearly ten years and an effort was too little, too late. 

They sat and Liam pulled out his sandwich. He was a pretty shit cook, but it was hard to mess up a sandwich. 

Mason and Corey followed only a minute behind, plopping down at their table and chatting away to gloss over the obvious look of disappointment the three of them were thrown. 

“So, did you guys hear about the downsizing?”

“Yeah, you told me about the rumours a few days ago,” Liam reminded, glancing at Corey. 

“No, no,” Corey clarified, “It’s not a rumour anymore. Corporate are either closing our branch, the New York office or the Stanford office.” The Stanford office was where Theo had moved to and while Liam would hate for him to lose his job, he highly doubted New York would go before one of them and Liam didn’t want to lose his either. 

“A whole branch?” Hayden asked, her brows knitting together. “What does that mean for us?”

“Well supposedly they’re not laying off the whole branch.” Corey filled in thoughtfully, “Only the workers they deem unnecessary. Particularly good or useful workers will be folded into one of the other two branches.” 

“Are you meant to be telling us this, O Customer Servive overlord?” Mason asked, inferring Corey’s knowledge was coming through his technically-Corporate job. 

“Probably not, but I figure if I can tell anyone, it’s you guys. Besides, the decision is being announced by close of business today. So it’s not like you’ll be waiting long to know anyway.”

“Who would even be an essential from here?” Hayden wondered out loud. 

“They’d keep warehouse on.” Corey said casually, “You guys aren’t obsolete in any capacity and we can’t downsize on shipments.” 

“Well yeah,” Hayden answered, “But I don’t want to work here without Liam.”

Liam coughed awkwardly and stared at his half eaten sandwich. 

“I think Scott and Corey would definitely get folded back in,” Mason added quickly, awkwardly. “They’re both pretty essential and Scott was a good salesman before being a Manager. Surely they’d fold him into Corporate.” 

“I’d almost certainly lose mine.” Liam thought out loud, “Not like either of those branches don’t have their own receptionists.”

The conversation went on and no one brought up Theo by name. Hayden didn’t know to, since she didn’t actually know what had gone down between them. Liam felt guilt for how it happened, but he had also turned Theo down pretty harshly and he didn’t want anyone to go after him. He also hadn’t really left Hayden for Theo. By the time he left Hayden, Theo was already gone and his window was already closed. He left because he realised he could be happier with someone else.

With someone specific, sure, but he’d lost that person. 

When they left, Hayden had casually suggested they get dinner and Liam politely declined, citing tiredness as his reason, though really he just didn’t want to get trapped in a pressure pit of him leaving. It was still hard for him in a way, because part of him was still stuck. That kid with no friends, desperate for the popular kid to like him. 

By afternoon, Liam was back at his desk, waiting anxiously for more information.

He tried to tell himself maybe it would be okay if he got fired. He didn’t like this job much anyway, and he was never much of Receptionist, really. 

Maybe he would pursue art or go back to College. Maybe he’d leave Scranton altogether and go somewhere entirely new. 

Maybe he would make something of himself, rather than just being someone’s boyfriend who got a job to buy them a ring. 

Maybe he would feel like drawing again then.

He had always wanted to go to a beach. Not the crappy lake thing they had in Scranton, but a real beach. He could do that if he got fired.

His mind hadn’t even let him process the alternative options. The reality that this could mean something else. It could mean Theo getting fired or… maybe even returning to them. Liam was scared of what that meant, but he also hadn’t been able to keep the phone call from his mind. 

How easily they’d chatted. How happily. He’d resolved to come it at 4am the following Monday and move Stiles’ desk into the toilet, but mostly for an excuse to text Theo again.

He knew so little about his life there. Except that he wore puppy undies, he guessed. 

There was a world in which Liam got that back. A world in which he could look up and see Theo’s face again. See his green eyes glancing back, see his smile, hear his husky laugh. 

A world in which Liam deserved the love he’d been offered. 

He thought briefly about Derek’s jacket. How it’d turned his stomach in an uncomfortable way. How he’d felt like it was wrong to see Theo in it.

He was jealous. He knew now. That annoying, gnawing feeling was jealousy. He hated it. He didn’t think of himself as a jealous person. 

It was nearly 4pm when Allison turned up, which Liam thought was curious. He also figured the visit could just as easily be to see Scott as to tell them their branch was closing down. 

As she passed, Allison offered him a hello, asked him about his art. She’d always been kind to him— he should’ve taken her offer about art school. 

‘I’m perfectly fine with my choices.’ ‘Are you?’

The words ran over his mind and Liam hated his brain for bringing them there. He’d always been an anxious over thinker.

“Liam, would you mind joining us to take  
notes on the meeting?” Liam nodded politely and headed in. He did this often, it was a big part of his job, so he simply stayed quiet and sat in the back corner, away from the primary conversation. 

“Scott.” Allison greeted. He gave an equally professional greeting. It was sort of cute, since Liam knew it was for his benefit.

“As you know, we’ve been trying to find a way to keep on our most promising staff and cut costs. Ultimately, we had to go with the branch that turns least profit.” Liam’s heart raced. Scott looked nervous too. “While Theo Raeken has made big strides in improving their numbers over the past six months, it’s still our least profitable branch. Corporate feels that our best bet to continue to stay afloat is to try to bring together the best of both of these branches.” 

Liam didn’t know what any of this meant, but he took notes. 

“As you know, there are 7 branches within driving range of here.” Scott nodded, “We want to promote you to be the General Manager. Of all 7. Or 6, once Stanford is dissolved. You would be situated here, but all Managers would report to you. Because of your new responsibility, we would bring in a day to day manager here. You’ll take Stanford’s clients and the three best Stanford salesmen will transfer here too.” 

Scott nodded and Liam wrote. But he could feel his heart racing. He could feel where this was going.

“Theo Raeken will be taking over as Scranton’s Regional Manager. He’ll do the day to day management, you’ll oversee the bigger picture stuff.” 

Scott was excited, thrilled at his new job, at his new pay, all of it. 

Liam had totally zoned out. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, like he couldn’t think.

Only a few hours ago, he was positive he’d be fired today.

Instead, he was here. He continued taking notes, but neither his heart nor mind was in the room anymore. Instead, he was off somewhere completely separate, totally on his own. 

He kept thinking about his wallet. On his desk, in his wallet, there were two pictures. One was of his mother and he when he was only about 10. The other was Theo’s yearbook picture. He had kept it since the teapot incident, lovingly tucked away in his wallet, for whenever he needed to smile. He barely looked at it any more, because it came with too much guilt and regret. 

Still; he wanted to look at it now. He wanted to look at the drawings too. He couldn’t stop his mind going into overdrive, couldn’t stop the panic and excitement.

Theo was coming home.


	13. To Get Me Through It All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam finds out just how much things have changed between him and Theo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! This one got... angstier than I was anticipating? I can't promise it's going to go up immediately, but I can promise we are going somewhere! 
> 
> I just want to quickly say a thank you so much to anyone reading this, for sticking with me on this fic and on this story! It means the world to me, and I really enjoy seeing feedback from people and finding out what they're enjoying (if anything, haha)! 
> 
> I promise to keep trying to update things quickly!

Liam felt almost embarrassed about how excited he was for Theo to come home. He reminded himself that Theo was just his best friend. That he wasn’t even really that anymore, but that if he wanted to try to get that friendship back, he needed to be careful.

Still, the morning he knew the three new employees were coming in, Liam woke up early. He didn’t know what he was meant to do. He supposed if he was more into it, he might’ve gotten up to do makeup and his hair, but he sucked at all those things. Instead, he wound up staring at his wardrobe, trying to think what to wear.

His style wasn’t even really a style. He went for muted colours mostly, and a lot of it had been picked out by Hayden when they were together. If he was at home, he would only be wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, but today was a work day, and it wasn’t any casual Friday. Instead, all he had were shades of pale blues and various shades of the same pair of pants.

He settled for a pair of dark slacks, a blue shirt and a black jumped over top. It was too big for him, but he didn’t care much, it was unseasonably cold out, and he felt a little more comfortable in something he’d owned forever. Besides, it never got that hot in Scranton anyway. Anyway, nobody would be paying attention to how he was dressed except himself.

Being up far too early, Liam decided to follow through on his plan of getting there early enough that he didn’t have to be the one to walk in and greet everyone. He got there too early though, had to open the office, turn on the lights and air conditioning, get everything ready.

In truth, the office all solitary and lonely didn’t make him feel too good. He felt sort of creeped out, and on top of that, he spent enough time alone at home these days to want to do it here too.

He felt stupid, but every time someone came through the door, he felt his heart jump.

The truth was, until that day, Liam was pretty certain he was straight. Sure, he liked Theo. They were friends. Best friends. He knew that he was objectively attractive, because of course he was. He knew that Theo was a catch. But in truth, he hadn’t even known whether Theo liked boys, let alone whether he’d look at him. Liam had never been overtly confident in himself, so he sometimes found it hard to imagine a world in which anyone wanted him.

Maybe that was why he had clung so hard to Hayden for so long.

So Liam blindly accepted the obvious. They were friends. Best friends. That was how he was meant to feel about a best friend.

He had been completely broken from that on Casino Night. It had hurt him to turn Theo down in the parking lot. It had ached painfully to see him cry. He had felt suffocated by the awfulness of the situation, by the reality that he could not make everyone happy in this situation, that he had no idea what the right thing to do was, nor the right way to say things.

He hadn’t had time to think, and he hadn’t ever allowed himself to consider that there might be something else between himself and Theo. At the very least, not consciously. 

The confrontation in the office had been far worse. It hurt him, sure, but there was something else too. Theo had been right there, so close to him, and Liam hadn’t been able to ignore the obvious. He wanted to kiss Theo. He wanted him. 

So, maybe there was some part of him that had fancied Theo then. But he wasn’t in love.

He jumped when Mason entered the office, glancing up, a little too anxious, maybe. 

Mason shot him a look, and Liam immediately looked away, shyly. He knew Mason was onto him, if not in the sense of how Liam felt about Theo romantically, at least how excited he was to have his friend back. 

“Relax, man.” Mason said slowly, leaning down over the edge of the desk, like Theo used to. “I know you’re excited… or maybe nervous, or both, but it’s going to be okay. He’s the same guy.” 

Liam frowned, feeling stupid. “I know that. Things just… got left on such awkward terms and…” Mason and Corey knew what happened, sort of. They knew something had happened, more like. That Theo had said something, Liam had knocked him back, and then Theo was gone.

“I know you’re nervous.” Mason added, “But you’ll sort it out. You guys are good friends. I’m sure that won’t change.” 

Liam just nodded and Mason made his way over to his desk.

He tried hard to focus on his work, but he could hear Theo’s laugh from down the hall. He glanced up, then back down, trying to decide what he should be doing, but it didn’t matter. Theo walked in, Scott and a new guy by his sides. The three were laughing over a joke Liam didn’t hear. All three just walked right past Liam, didn’t glance back at him.

He blinked, confused and a little hurt. He had been so excited to talk to Theo again. So excited to just see his face, but Theo apparently didn’t feel the same, because he hadn’t spared Liam so much as a look. 

He was put at a different desk. It was actually closer to Liam, since their desk clump was two desks face to face and another on the ends. Theo had been on the end before, his profile to Liam, able to look at each other easily. Now, he was sat opposite Stiles, his back to Liam, Nolan in his old space instead. 

The new person who’d come in with him was sat opposite him now. They were a ways away from each other, but Liam saw the guy smile at Theo from across the room and he felt a sense of confusion. Maybe jealousy? Why would he feel jealous? None of this mattered. It was normal. It was totally fine.

Others came in. Another new person, who introduced themselves to Liam as Braeden. He still didn’t know the one who’d come in with Theo, since neither had spoken to him. 

Scott was talking to the office at large, but Liam wasn’t listening. 

Then everyone was getting up and Liam realised he’d missed something he shouldn’t miss. Eventually, he figured out there was a breakfast in the conference room to welcome them all and he found his way in. 

He stood awkwardly with Lydia for a bit, not knowing what to do. Theo’s choice not to speak to him felt pointed, and while it hurt him, Liam couldn’t find it in him to feel angry.

All he could feel was… deeply, unignorably sad. 

Eventually, the man who entered with Theo approached their conversation. 

“Hi, guys. I’m Josh. I was the number two at Stanford and I’m going to be a salesman here.” 

Lydia introduced herself, explained her job while Liam was too zoned out to be fully listening.

“Liam.” He said when Josh held a hand out to him, waiting for him to introduce himself. “I’m Liam, I’m the receptionist.” He said with an awkward smile. The guy seemed nice, and he didn’t really feel anything negative towards him, he just felt off in general. Worried, nervous. Obsessed.

He kept trying to steal glances at Theo, but never caught his eyes.

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. Theo was standing with Mason and Corey and Liam just walked right up to them.

“Um, hi.” He mumbled, his eyes fluttering a little with anxiety. He leaned up to hug Theo, not waiting for his reaction, a force of habit. Theo hugged him back, but it was kind of awkward. Neither committed to it, neither knew what to do. They both pulled back too quickly, and Liam finally got to meet Theo’s eyes.

His hair was a little longer, parted in the middle, falling into his eyes in a slight curl. He had a little bit of stubble and he seemed… different. Older, maybe. More self assured. Liam was glad to see him looking good, but he hated feeling like he’d been left behind. That was how he felt. Like whatever connection they’d had was gone.

He felt like Theo hated him now, but he didn’t know how to fix it or even remotely combat the wedge that had formed between them. Had it only been a few days ago that they had been talking on the phone? That Liam had thought maybe they could get things back to normal?

“How have you been?” Theo asked, sort of curtly. 

“Good.” He said with a smile, “Not much has changed since we last spoke. I was going to do the desk thing this week, but I figured you might want to.” Actually, Liam had hoped they could do the prank together, but he realised now that Theo clearly didn’t want to spend that much time with him. It hurt, but he tried to be understanding of the fact that this was entirely his fault. 

The rest of the day went achingly slow. He kept finding himself looking up at the back of Theo’s head, kept finding himself wishing things could go back. That Theo could be sitting with his profile to Liam, glancing up and grinning at him multiple times a day. He missed him. 

He missed him so much it physically hurt him.

By the time it got to three pm, Liam was beginning to feel overwhelmed by it all. He made his way into the breakroom, made himself a tea, and sat. He pulled his phone at, sat scrolling absently through twitter, his mind nowhere near what he was reading. All he could think about was the deep, permeating wish that he could go back and do things differently.

“Hey,” Liam nearly jumped out of his seat when he heard Theo’s voice from behind him. 

“Uh, hi.” He said, turning halfway in his chair, glancing back. Theo went about making himself coffee, barely looking up.

“I’m sorry I haven’t had much time to talk to you today. Things have been really weird and hectic. Being back here is… a lot to get used to.” Liam wondered how much of that was his fault. He also wondered if Theo had really been busy at all, or if he was trying not to fall back into old patterns. Or worse, if he really just didn’t care to see the other boy anymore. 

“Oh, it’s okay.” Liam’s voice sounded higher pitched than normal, and he immediately cursed himself for being such a horrible liar. Theo was far better at straight faces and lies than him, which was why he was the better prankster. “I figured that was the case.” That was a lie too-- which he was sure Theo would know, but he just didn’t know what else to say. He was trying to diffuse the awkwardness that had taken over the room. 

When the coffee was made, Theo came to sit opposite him. Liam felt nervous, anxious, he couldn’t relax into his seat, and he wound up sort of bouncing awkwardly.

“It’s weird to be back,” Theo tried to make conversation. “I didn’t think I’d ever be in this branch.”

“Yeah. To be honest, I didn’t think I was ever going to see you again.”

“No, neither did I.” Theo agreed quietly, staring down at the steaming coffee in front of him. “Look, I, uh, sort of had an ulterior motive for starting this conversation.”

Liam felt his heart race. God, he was terrified it was going to be something bad. He just wanted his friend back, if nothing else.

“The two salespeople who moved here with me, Braeden and Josh, they’re really good workers. Smart, polite, dedicated, I think you’re all going to really like them.” Liam ndoded, confused about why he was being given this information. He wasn’t the Manager. Theo sort of was now, actually. Theo was his boss now, in a weird way. Still Scott, ultimately, but Theo was definitely above him. “The uh, the guy, Josh. He was the second in command at Stanford. We spent a lot of time together.” Liam’s stomach lurched, “He’s my boyfriend.”

Liam suddenly felt sick to his stomach. They had walked in together. Theo had been so busy talking to him he hadn’t even looked at Liam. Literally. They were sat looking at each other now. Theo was never Liam’s, and Liam was never Theo’s, so why the hell did it feel like he had been replaced?

Liam hated the burning, painful jealousy that overtook him. He hated the bitter sadness that pulled at his heart. He hated feeling betrayed, because he had no right. Theo had left because Liam had rejected him. This was Liam’s fault. He had absolutely no right to feel sad or jealous or anything else.

He put on his best, most winning smile. “That’s great, Theo. I’m really, really happy for you.” 

Theo smiled, “And you? You’re happy?” 

He swallowed, “I mean, yeah. I’m not with Hayden, but you knew that.” He stared at the table now too, picking at the wood with his nail. “But things are good. I have a really shitty apartment and I hang out with Mason and Corey a lot now. I’m even a groomsman for their wedding.”

Theo nodded seriously, “Right, right. I knew that, we got an invitation.” 

Ugh. As happy as he was for his friends, the day was seeming like it was going to be extremely emotionally taxing for him. From confronting his own cancelled wedding to seeing Theo with his new partner. 

“Oh.” He tried to smile, “That will be fun. Maybe we can… have a dance at the wedding or something.” He inwardly cursed himself for the stupid comment. For the vulnerability. 

Theo just nodded. 

“Well, I… I really miss you.” Liam finally said. It felt stupid, he hadn’t meant to say it, but he couldn’t think of anything else. Still, he felt guilty-- he’d put Theo through enough already. “Our friendship, I mean.”

Theo looked really tired, suddenly. He looked older. “Yeah. I missed our friendship too. But, uh, I just don’t think I can just… go back to how things were. I have Josh now and--”

Liam shook his head, maybe too aggressively.

“I didn’t mean--”

“I don’t want to make the same--”

“I’m not trying to make things harder for you or--”

“We’ve been down this road and--”

“I’m sorry.” Liam jumped in, talking over him. “I’m really, really sorry. I’m glad you’re happy and I just… If you don’t want to be around me, I get it. I deserve that. I just… wanted you to know I miss you.” 

Then Theo was gone and Liam found himself sitting in the stairway of the building. Everyone took the elevators, so no one was ever really in there. His arms were wrapped tight around his knees, sitting on the floor of the second storey staircase, trying hard to stop himself from outright sobbing.

He hadn’t known. He truly, genuinely hadn’t known how much it meant. How much it would hurt. How absolutely screwed he was. He was in love with him. He was in love with Theo and he’d realised too late and now there was someone else and he was going to have to watch it all happen. He couldn’t face going back into the office, not yet. 

He couldn’t stop thinking about it now. Seeing Theo grin at him. Running around stores together. The teapot, with all the pictures and gifts inside. The salt packet he’d kept for so many years. The tiny pencil from the zoo. How he’d kept all those drawings, even crappy ones Liam had done will he was drunk or half asleep. 

He felt weak, sitting alone here crying, but there was no stopping it now. There was no intercepting his emotion. All he could do was sob until he ran out of tears or feelings, whichever came first, then return to work. 

He barely even noticed it when Stiles entered the stairway. Of course Stiles of all people would use the stairs on today of all days.

He stood there for a second, brows knitted together, seemingly unsure of what to say. After a moment, “Who did this to you?”

If he wasn’t too busy crying, Liam would’ve laughed. He said it like he would fight whoever had made Liam curl up and cry in public like this, but Stiles wasn’t really equipped to be fighting anyone, he didn’t think. What was more, Liam didn’t even know if Stiles actually liked him. 

Liam just shook his head and Stiles moved to sit beside him. He pulled a tissue out of his pocket and handed it to Liam, who took it and pressed it against one of his cheeks limply. 

“You don’t have to stay, you know,” Liam mumbled quietly, his voice shaky and breaking. 

“I know.” Stiles said quietly, then put his arm around Liam. It wasn’t enough to make the pain stop. It wasn’t enough to make him stop crying. But for that second, he felt a little less alone. He leaned his head on Stiles’ shoulders, who stayed perfectly still and didn’t leave. 

By the time Liam was able to stop, it was long past home time, nearly six thirty, and Stiles could have left hours before. They were supposed to knock off at five. But instead, his friend stayed there with him, waited with him. He hadn’t pushed or even asked, simply kept him company. 

For a little while, that was enough to satiate the sadness.

Until he got home. Until he was alone in his shitty, run down apartment with nothing but a crappy frozen meal for food. Until he was alone with his thoughts, with the wedding ring he never got to wear, still sat on the kitchen bench like he had no idea what to do with it (because he didn’t). 

Then, Liam curled up in bed, folded himself up in his blankets, and tried to forget how badly he’d ruined everything.


	14. I Let My Guard Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam attends Corey and Mason's wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um, yikes. So three chapters in 12 hours. That's where I'm at with this fic!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy, this chapter went a little off the rails, but I promise we are going places. 
> 
> As always, please feel free to leave any/all feedback!

“I don’t know how to say this in any other languages, Mason. I have got them.” He enunciated each word clearly into his phone as he walked.

“Yeah, but are you-- are you sure they’re right? Are you sure you picked up the right ones? Are you sure-- are you sure you’ll remember them?”

“Mase, I love you, I’m very happy for you, but I will throttle you if you ask me that again. I’m not that stupid. They are with me, they are correct, they will be at your wedding when you are, I promise.”

“Okay, okay, fine.” Mason conceded through the other end of the phone and Liam let out a sigh of relief. 

“I truly had no idea you were going to be a Groomzilla when I signed up for this.” Liam joked, and Mason hung up on him.

It had been a few weeks since Theo had returned to Scranton, and things really hadn’t changed that much. He had gotten used to seeing Theo with Josh. He got used to the subtle way Josh would brush past Theo as he walked by or the way they would talk to each other when they were planning a prank together, without Liam. He got used to seeing Theo grin at his computer screen because he got an IM from Josh. Or, well, he got used to seeing the back of Theo’s neck when he grinned. He’d gotten weirdly good at reading his expressions from behind, which was probably a sign he needed to stop looking at the boy.

But today wasn’t the day for Liam to go on thinking about this. Today was about Mason and Corey and Liam had to stand there and make a speech and hand them their rings, and he was sure he could do it, but he was still a little scared. They were his best friends, and Liam had already fucked up one wedding that year, he figured one was already too many, let alone two.

But actually, the whole day went by really quickly. 

He was with Mason, helping him get ready. They got their tuxes on, got their hair all ready and got photos taken by the photographer. Liam met Mason’s parents, who seemed genuinely thrilled to be there and to meet Liam too. They hadn’t been so close for that long, but it was like they had known each other forever. Their friendship had just clicked into place.

Liam had a talk with Mason to calm him down and they both ended up in stitches. 

He walked down the aisle before Mason, arm in arm with one of Corey’s best friends from school, who stood behind Corey while Liam stood behind Mason. 

He listened to their vows, how raw and genuine and in love they both sounded. He watched them stare into each others’ eyes, watched them both cry. He wasn’t sure he was any great poet or had any great understanding of the concept of love or soulmates, but if they existed, he was pretty sure Mason and Corey were it. 

He had seen it first hand over the past six months. How well they got along. How often they laughed. How lovingly they stared at each other. How comfortable they were with each other. How trusting. Liam had never, even in his best moments with Hayden, had that with her. 

He handed the rings to Mason when it was time to exchange them, watched the two exchange them, watched them both giddily laugh through tears as they kissed and got pronounced husbands. 

Liam was overcome with joy for the two of them, cheering and whooping along with the rest of the crowd -- complete with the entire office. 

They took photos together amongst the flower garden where their ceremony had been. There was a photo where Liam and Corey’s best friend were lifting the two of them into the air, and he was sure it would be a good photo, because they were all laughing so hard tears were coming out. 

He got to watch some of their photos too, how genuinely overjoyed they were, and he couldn’t have been happier to be there with them. 

When they introduced the new couple at the reception, the group of them each had to choose a song to dance into the room to. Mason had picked Liam’s for him, and Liam hadn’t complained, because it was funny and it was Mason’s day. 

So Liam wound up dancing into the room to the song ‘I’m Sexy and I Know It’. Liam wasn’t sure if the joke was that Liam was generally quite shy about himself, or if it was just funny because it put him in such an awkward position, but whatever the intent, Liam was determined to live up to it. To make their wedding videos and photos as funny and memorable as he could. To make their day as good as it could be. 

He took off his suit jacket, swung it around his head like a lasso as he danced into the room, tried not to take notice of anyone else, tried just to be completely free and as funny as he could be. He could hear people laughing and cheering, and he figured everyone was in high enough spirits that they wouldn’t care much if he was good or onbeat or making eye contact. When he was in, he moved to sit at his spot on the table, at Mason’s right hand side. 

He clapped and cheered along when Mason and Corey danced into the room, and barely noticed the other people for a while. Until he did. Because then, he noticed the obvious. The uncomfortable. The ‘why-the-fuck-would-they-do-this-to-him’? Because right in his line of sight was Theo. Theo in a black suit. Theo with his hand on Josh’s knee. Theo watching him. 

If that wasn’t bad enough, right across the table from Theo, directly in his line of sight, was Hayden. 

Liam knew this wasn’t the time to ask Mason what the fuck that was about, so he didn’t bring it up. He didn’t say anything about it to his friend now, he just ate with them, watched as they all grinned and talked and felt lucky to be such an important part of a loved one’s special day. Or two loved ones. 

When it was his turn to speak, Liam was terrified. Absolutely terrified. He had never been that good at public speaking, he had stuttered and gotten too nervous and shy. He had found it hard not to read directly off the paper. But if he was ever, ever going to get this right: it would be today. It would be for his best friends. 

He cleared his throat, “Hi guys. For those of you who don’t know me, which is… I think everyone who doesn’t work at Dunder Mifflin, I’m Liam.” He took a slightly breathless, deep breath, trying to steady his voice and his confidence. He gripped the microphone a little too tightly. “I’m the receptionist, which, y’know, for a mid-sized Paper Company with absolutely no walk-ins makes me the most useless eye candy ever.” He was too nervous to catch anyone’s eye at first, but felt his confidence boost a little when people laughed at his joke. “And you know, being the receptionist of a mid-tier Paper Company with absolutely no walk-ins, I have a lot of time to kill… doing absolutely nothing.” People laughed again, and he was glad they were feeling generous with their laughter, because he needed it. 

“But having so much time to kill means I’ve actually been lucky enough to observe… quite a lot of their relationship. I was lucky enough to witness the times when they were pretending not to like each other. In case anyone’s wondering, neither of them have acting careers in their future.” More laughter, and Liam’s confidence swelled. He began to actually look at peoples’ faces. They were smiling. They were listening to him. “I was lucky enough to witness the weird, midway point where they were clearly dating, but telling everyone they weren’t. Once again… not winning any oscars over here.” He looked around, and for a split second, he caught Theo’s eyes. When he did, he couldn’t let go of them.

“What I was lucky enough to witness about them was how truly they loved each other. I witnessed the little things about them. How they would always make each other coffee when either of them went, even though they didn’t sit together. How Mason would always drive Corey in in the mornings. I was there one day when Mason forgot to turn in some forms, and Corey drove all the way to New York, a three hour drive, before work to make sure Mason wouldn’t get in trouble.” There was a mix of laughter and awws. 

“The truth is, when I met them, I had sort of lost hope a little bit. Lost hope that that real, true, movie type love exists. That you could find a person and they would just… be your person. That they would be on your team, no matter what. There to help you and support you and defend you even when you’re one hundred percent wrong. And just for the record, I have seen Mason defend Corey when he was one hundred percent wrong about something too.” More laughter. Liam looked down at his friends. They were both glassy eyes, and Liam figured emotions were high for them most of all. Still, seeing them like that brought tears to his own eyes. 

“But seriously. These two guys… they’re not just perfect together because they’re magically soulmates or something. They’re perfect together because they really, truly try. They’re perfect together because they’re both good, genuine people. They were both there for me when I really had nobody else, and in turn, I would walk through fire for either of them in a heartbeat. I know they would do the same for me.”

“If I believe anyone in the world is going to make it work, I believe they will. They’re kind and smart and fully dedicated to each other, and I hope it gives you all here tonight as much hope as it gives me. I hope everyone here can see the two of them, not just as a wonderful couple, but as wonderful people, individually and together. I am so, so honoured to be standing up here for you both. I am honoured to be a part of this. I am honoured to be someone you both wanted by your are sides.” He paused, clearing his throat, hearing his voice getting cloudy from emotion. “I promise, as your friend, to be here for you as much as I can and to watch your relationship with pride and admiration. If I can hope for anything, I can hope that one day both of you get to return the favour for me.” 

Liam heard the applause and he heard the cheers and he could tell that he’d done a good job, but he was distracted. He was distracted because he was overwhelmed with the sensation that he’d already found it. The love he saw in them, the one he described, he had already found it and he had lost it. He had thrown it away. Now it was over and there was no going back on that. 

Theo had moved on, Liam had to do the same. He had to just hope he could find it again. That there was another version of that out there for him.

Several shots and a lot of speeches later, everyone had moved to the dance floor. Liam had for a time, but after ten, the happy couple left for their honeymoon, and the rest of the reception was just the guests. Liam was having fun, dancing and trying to forget, even dancing with a few friends of Corey and Mason, when he saw it.

Theo and Josh. Theo with his arms around Josh’s middle, Josh with his arms around Theo’s neck. The two of them, pulled close together, swaying side to side. He watched as Theo leaned up to kiss Josh and forced himself to look away. To look back at the flowers on their table, to try to memorise the patterns and colours, just for something to do.

He was only vaguely aware that someone had sat down beside him. After a moment of slightly hazy silence, Liam glanced up with unfocused, slightly drunken eyes. 

Hayden sat beside him. She looked… like she had when they were eighteen and super in love and moving in together. Her curls were piled on top of her head in a messy bun, with tendril curls falling down. She wore a pretty red dress that came down to her calves and though her makeup was a little smudged from the night, she looked shimmering and bright. Liam could remember why he had loved her. She was like a disco ball. She was always so bright. Always drawing people in. Red lipstick only brightened her smile, and Liam wondered vaguely how it had stayed on so late into the night. 

“Remember when we were planning our wedding and you wanted to go to the Bahamas and I wanted to go to Mexico?” She asked, her tone good natured. She was looking off into the dance floor too, but Liam doubted they were looking at the same person. He doubted she was staring with heartbreaking jealousy at someone who had moved on. 

“Yeah?” Liam’s brows raised, confused. 

“I was definitely right.” She told him. A smirk pulled at her lips and Liam let a laugh slip out of his mouth. For all the bad of their relationship, she had always known how to make him laugh. Or at least, she had when she tried to. Things had fallen by the wayside with their relationship being as long as it had, but she did have these moments. Moments of weirdly perceptive humour, that could cut through his worst moments. 

“It’s a beautiful night.” She added after a moment and Liam nodded. “That was a beautiful speech.” 

Liam gave her a genuine smile. “Thank you,” He said slowly, taking another sip of his drink. 

“You did really well. I know you hate things like that.” That was another thing about Hayden. Knowing each other as long as they had, there was no groundwork to be done. They knew so much about each other, right down to the fibres of who they were. “But you shouldn’t be so nervous. You were great. Really. Not a dry eye.”

Liam smiled up at her again. She smiled back, warmly. 

“You know, when we were in high school, I had the biggest crush on you for so long.” She told him. Liam’s brows furrowed in confusion. That was not at all the way he remembered it. “You never talked. You were like this weird, mysterious athlete who just floated through the halls like nothing bothered him. Like no one was worth your time.”

Liam snorted, and Hayden went on speaking, “Obviously I got to know you and realised you were actually just painfully shy and didn’t know how to talk to people. But I liked that part of you too.” 

Actually, Liam couldn’t remember the last time she’d said anything so nice to him. Certainly, it had been years. Years since she could even list anything about who he was that she liked. Anything past his appearance.

He blinked in surprise, glancing back at the dancefloor. He meant to say thank you, but he got lost in it. For a split second, he and Theo met eyes. 

Theo was tucked into Josh while they danced, his hair messy from dancing, jacket and tie discarded, sleeves rolled up. 

He looked like some kind of angel, Liam thought, and his heart ached at the thought that he could’ve been the one dancing with him. That he lost that chance. They held each other's' eyes for a moment too long, and Liam was only moments away from beginning to cry.

“Do you… do you want to get out of here?” Hayden asked him and Liam nodded numbly. 

She got to her feet and held her hand out to him. Liam took it and followed her out into the parking lot. Maybe this was the way it was supposed to be. Maybe he was meant to be with Hayden and Theo was meant to be with Josh. Maybe, if he wasn’t selfish, if he wasn’t cruel, he should just let Theo go, let him be happy.

Maybe they could work on this. Maybe they could make it work.

When Liam woke in the morning with Hayden by his side in his lumpy, new mattress, he kept reminding himself of the same thing. Maybe they could fix what was broken. She was clearly trying. Maybe he owed her that after the way he’d called off the wedding. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be. Maybe they really were high school sweethearts.

Maybe he could get over Theo.


	15. Then You Pulled The Rug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam and Theo spend some time together.
> 
> Liam has an art show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me, every single chapter: I didn't expect for this to get so sad!
> 
> Anyway, turns out angst is my thing. As always, please, please feel free to leave any and all feedback! Hope you enjoy x

Liam didn’t know how he got here. It made no real sense for him to be here, because they’d been keeping away from each other, and they’d been doing a good job. Liam was giving Hayden another shot, Theo was very happy with Josh, yet here they were.

The two of them sat on the roof of their building in plastic picnic chairs, watching as Stiles and Scott let off a firework in a field on the other side of the building. It was stupid, and very probably illegal, but the rest of the office was either watching from in the conference room or had gone home.

Theo and Liam had snuck up here a number of times during their friendship, usually with a few bags of chips from the vending machine and a plan to watch the rest of the office do something chaotic. Occasionally, they were just bored and trying to escape work during the day, but that was less frequent. The light was dimming in the distance now, a pale, cloudy and inky sunset neither had intended to watch. It wasn’t like sunsets here were any great sight, especially not over a dingey, overgrown field, but it still filled the air with a nice ambiance.

Theo’s face looked different in this light. Long shadows and soft features. His eyes looked more grey than green. Liam just felt lucky to be doing this with him again.

After the wedding, he had mostly kept away. They had both kept their space as a week passed. Liam went on with his mission of being done. Of giving up on a future or even a chance with Theo and instead, devoted his time and attention to trying to fix his relationship with Hayden. 

He’d decided that he was going to expect better treatment. He was going to ask more of Hayden.

He found himself telling her often, “If we’re going to try again, this is what it has to be. You have to show an interest in what I care about.” She was trying, Liam could see that. He supposed that had always been the problem with their relationship in a way. Liam never felt like he had a good enough reason to end things. It wasn’t right or enough, but he thought maybe she was trying, so he had felt too guilty for it not being enough for him. Felt as though maybe he was being too demanding, maybe he was wanting too much. Maybe he was the problem.

But Liam had an art show the following evening, and for once, Liam was trying hard to establish within himself that he deserved people who would treat him like he mattered. Like his art mattered. Like what he cared about mattered.

He had hung fliers up around the office, and had told people about it. That it was only five minutes from the office and that it was really important to him. These people were his friends, and so he truly, genuinely hoped they would come. 

Theo had approached him while he was hanging one in the break room. 

“Hey,” Liam had glanced up at the sound of the familiar voice greeting him. “Scott and Stiles got a freaking firework. They’re sneaking out the back with it.” His voice betrayed his excitement, despite being hushed, and his eyes seemed to sparkle with excitement. Liam was nodding immediately before Theo even proporisitioned, “Roof?” 

Liam grinned, “I’ll get the snacks, you get the blanket.” They had hidden a blanket in the annexe filing cupboards for just such an occasion. It got cold and windy up on that roof, even in hotter months. 

Ten minutes later, they had found themselves sitting here. Chairs side by side, blanket draped over both their laps. 

Hayden was downstairs in the warehouse and Josh was out on a sales call with Alec, so neither of them really had any explanations to give about why they were up here. It would’ve been hard to explain anyway, it had become like a weird kind of ritual. Scott and Stiles did something chaotic, Liam and Theo snuck up to the roof.

Honestly, Liam was just thrilled to know there was still something left of the friendship he had treasured so much. Still, Theo had been so hot and cold. He’d barely acknowledged Liam for the past few weeks of being back, tried to keep his distance, now all of a sudden he wanted to be alone with him on a roof?

If Liam were smarter, or maybe had more self control, he might’ve thought this was a bad idea. He might’ve thought that Theo would end up regretting it, or that maybe being ignored and then treated like a friend again wasn’t something that made him feel good, but he was too caught up. Too caught up in wanting to be with Theo, too caught up in wanting that normalcy back. Besides, these were some of his best memories of Dunder Mifflin. 

Theo was one of his favourite people in the world. Weirdly though, the fallout of losing Theo had been that he had gained a lot. Corey and Mason, new best friends. He had spent more time with Scott. He and Stiles had become closer friends. In fact, in a weird way, he had sort’ve become closer to most people. Maybe because he had no choice but to branch out more. None of that was Theo’s fault, of course. Liam could’ve branched out before, and Theo had never stopped him. But Theo had been the one person who seemed to get Liam, so without him, he’d been so lonely he’d wound up reaching out. That, in its own way, had been a good thing.

Maybe this was how it was supposed to be.

“You think they’re going to burn off their eyebrows?” Theo asked, breaking Liam from his thoughts. He glanced up at the other boy, all thoughts of ‘fate’ and ‘meant to be’s’ forgotten as he looked at Theo’s grinning face.

“Probably,” Liam answered with a nod. “Or maybe singe their hair shorter.” He added with a snicker. They were both laughing then, and Liam felt lucky to be allowed to be part of this. 

They got talking, and after a while, it was like nothing had ever happened. Almost.

“Was there a moment,” Liam was asking, “When you realised we were going to be close? Like, a momen you realised you liked me?” He meant it to be a question about friendship, at least partly, even though for him, he suspected the answer was actually sort of different. It had almost certainly been the moment he’d begun to have feelings for Theo, he just hadn’t consciously known that until after Theo’s confession.

Theo thought for a minute. “Yeah, actually.” He said slowly, “You came up to me one day and you said: ‘I’ve been watching you.’ I thought you were going to murder me or something, mind you, because you were always so freaking peppy. Then you said, ‘That prank you’re pulling, it’s a good idea, but you’re going about it all wrong.’” Theo was grinning at him now, and Liam wondered if there was any part of Theo that hated him. “You said ‘You need yoghurt instead of milk. Milk is too thin.’ You were right, by the way, it wouldn’t have worked otherwise. That was when you won me over, I think.” 

Liam couldn’t help but wonder if it was the moment they had become friends or if that moment was something more for Theo too, but he had no right to ask, so he didn’t. 

“What about you?” Theo asked, staring at the soda can in his hands. Liam didn’t want to assign a mood to it, since he had no right, but it almost seemed like Theo was… shy. 

“Yeah, there totally is.” Liam said with a nod, “You came to me and you said, ‘This is going to sound totally insane, and there’s no good reason for me to ask you this, but I’m going to start speaking absolute gibberish to you, and I need you to pretend you fully understand it and talk back to me in gibberish.’” He giggled a little bit, unable to hold the laughter in, blue eyes fixed on Theo.

Theo was still looking at his lap, but a smile grew on his face and after a moment, he glanced up through his painfully long eyelashes. “That’s a horrible first friend moment. Can’t you pick another one? I sound like a lunatic.”

Liam shook his head, still grinning resolutely, “No, I’m sorry, but you get absolutely no say. That was the moment I knew I liked you.” 

They both glanced back out, because the little science experiment downstairs was going off. Then they were both laughing hard, because something had gone wrong and it had shot sideways into the trees instead, followed by the other two running to find it and make sure it was okay. It luckily hadn’t caught fire or anything, so it was really just a matter of not wanting to litter.

How two people could be so chaotic and so wholesome at the same time, Liam genuinely didn’t know. 

“So… I saw you and Hayden together at the wedding,” Theo said casually, staring off into the distance.

“Oh.” Liam nodded slowly, “Yeah. I suppose I felt… bad. For calling things off as late as I did. And she was trying so…”

Theo shrugged, “You don’t owe me an explanation.” He said, but there was an edge of something to his voice. Defensiveness, maybe. Or annoyance. 

“No, I know.” Liam finally said, but the moment had been broken. The awkwardness had set in. “You and Josh seemed happy together too.”

Theo’s jaw twitched and Liam forced himself to look away from his profile. 

“Yeah. I was really glad I was there with him.” Now he definitely sounded off. Liam felt weirdly guilty, though he wasn’t actually sure what he’d done. He’d called off the wedding. Theo had said he loved him and Liam called off the wedding. He reached out to tell him that. Theo put space between them and Theo came back with a new boyfriend. How could he possibly be annoyed with him for giving Hayden another chance now?

Liam pulled out his phone and checked the time. 

“We should probably head back. It’s a quarter past five. Hayden’s probably looking for me and I’m sure Josh is back by now.” He was trying to be polite, trying to smooth things over, trying to remind Theo that they had both moved on, but it didn’t seem to work. 

Theo nodded and got to his feet, “Well, uh… good talk.”

“Yeah.” Liam answered, truly unsure how their fun afternoon had turned so weird so suddenly. 

They climbed back down into the office in silence and returned to their respective desks, neither sparing another glance at the other.

*

Liam’s art show was a big deal to him. Partly because he never did things like this. He never put himself out there, he never asked his friends or coworkers for anything, he never put himself in such a vulnerable position, to be critiqued and judged.

He had insisted that Hayden would come to see it, though she hadn’t seemed overly keen on the idea. 

He had told everyone in the office, which was a big step for him in and of itself. But he was trying hard to be more independent. Trying hard to actually fight for what he wanted, no matter the personal cost. 

He stood by the wall of art in the room, looking up at it until he hated it. 

There were plenty of others here, local artists showing off their work. He had really made an effort. With his hair, with his clothes, with his set up and explanation of the pieces.

They were simple things mostly. A painting of the crappy, pebbled lake they called a beach in Scranton. A sketch of a stapler (the same one Theo had set in jelly in Stiles’ desk). A painting of a coffee mug and of a hand holding it. A painting of the office building, lit up slightly gold by a sunset, with Liam and Scott’s cars out the front. They were so often the last two in the office.

He had always liked drawing people better, but after everything else, that felt a little weird too. An hour into the art show, Liam still stood alone. Others had an influx of people coming to see, coming to appreciate. 

He stared at his own work, wondering if it was mundane and boring. If the colouring wasn’t blended enough or the subjects weren’t interesting enough. He wondered why nobody was coming for him, when others had so many people there.

At some point, Hayden entered, followed by her sister. She came to Liam, kissed him and bounced excitedly for a moment, “So this is pretty great, right? I came to see your art.”

For a split second, Liam thought she meant his art was great, but then the realisation settled over him. She meant it was great that she had come. He wondered if he was meant to congratulate her for turning up an hour late to his art show. 

“I mean, I’m the only one who came to see your art.” Liam knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to make a point about how good a girlfriend she was, showing up when no one else had. But all it did was remind him of the obvious. First, that no one else had come through for him. Not any of his friends, whom he’d truly believed would. Second, that Hayden saw coming to see his art as a favour. It was her doing something for him, something he should thank her for, rather than something she wanted to do because she loved him. Or god forbid, because she thought he was talented.

He figured he should be angry, but he just felt deeply, heavily sad. 

“Yeah,” He said quietly, squeezing his hands together in front of himself, trying hard to outweigh the crushing feeling of disappointment and loneliness that settled over him like ice. 

She stood there for a second, looking around as if trying to figure out what she was meant to do with herself now that she was here. Finally, she squinted at his art, and gave a big, “Wow! That’s really good, Liam. It looks really real.” 

Liam knew she was trying, he really did, but the whole thing sounded fake and performative. Like giving compliments to a child who had done a drawing to be hung up on the fridge.

He felt like he might cry, but he managed to hold it in. The deep, aching disappointment wasn’t altogether unfamiliar, which hurt in and of itself. 

She leaned over, pulling Liam in and kissing him on the top of his head, sort of forcing him to bend down to do it, and he gave her a weak smile. 

“I love you.” She told him, and then, after a second. “So, um… Val and I were thinking we might go down to the pub and have a drink. You could come with us if you wanted.” 

Liam thought it would actually be less disappointing if this was a surprise to him. “I think I’m going to stay here. See if anyone else shows up.” He said with a sad half smile. 

She nodded, “Okay. well, is it okay if we… head out?” Liam just nodded numbly. 

Before she left, she gave him what he estimated to be an attempt at a sincere look. “Your art was the prettiest art of all the art.” She told him, kissing him on the nose.

Liam just stood there. He couldn’t bring himself to feel anything in particular about it. It was disappointing, sure. But she was trying. That was what he had always told him. It wasn’t enough, but she was trying, and how could he begrudge her that?

He couldn’t ask her to be something she wasn’t, and at least she had come. At least she had tried.

Liam told himself that could be enough.

Still, the night dragged further on, with no sign of anyone else from the office. Corey and Mason were on their honeymoon, so they had a pass, but everyone else? Did he matter so little to people?

Despite himself, Liam kept hoping, hoping he would look up and see Theo walking towards him. Even if he was with Josh. Even if he didn’t care. Just to feel like he had cared enough to show up. 

At one point, Liam went to the bathroom and returned to see Malia standing with someone he didn’t know, looking at his art.

He went to say something, but instead he heard them talking and he stopped. The man she was with was saying, “I don’t know. Isn’t art supposed to be about like, honesty and courage and stuff? This just seems like… high school art class.”

Malia sighed, “I mean, he tried. Besides, honesty and courage aren’t really his strong suits.” 

Liam blinked, feeling like he’d been punched in the stomach and disappeared back to the bathroom for ten minutes in the hope that they’d be gone when he returned.

He couldn’t help but feel his lack of honesty or courage was about what had happened. About him failing to act on what he wanted. But how would Malia even know about all that? Or did he really radiate the energy of being someone so shy and bad at being upfront that everyone knew about it? Even someone he wasn’t as close with?

When he returned, there was no one left. The place was nearly cleared out, and most artists had taken their art. Liam frowned, biting the insides of his mouth as he began to take down his art.

“Liam-nardo Da Vinci!” Liam nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard Scott’s voice from behind him. “I’m sorry I’m so late, I was in New York doing a thing for Corporate and I had to drive all the way back here.”

Liam just stared at him, trying hard to sort his emotions. He felt a wave of emotion that he didn’t know how to process. He felt like crying, just out of sheer overwhelming relief at seeing Scott, someone who actually had always supported him. He felt like crying because he was disappointed in how it had all gone. Instead, he just stood there, staring blankly at his boss.

“These are amazing, Liam. Is this our office?” He asked brightly, looking at the picture. “Oh my god, it is. This is our office. And that’s my car! And your car!” He seemed genuinely touched by the fact that it was their office, and Liam didn’t know what to say. He knew Scott was passionate about their office, about his subordinates, but he truly hadn’t realised how much. “I need to buy this. How much?”

Liam just blinked in shock, “What?”

“How much for this?”

“You… you want to buy it?”

“Yeah. Of course, I do, Liam. This is amazing.” Emotion overwhelmed him, and Liam took a quick step forward, throwing his arms around the older man. He didn’t want to cry, but tears ran down his cheeks. Scott didn’t seem to have been expecting it, but he hugged Liam back tightly.

Liam didn’t know whether he was doing it for his benefit, or whether Scott needed the hug too, but they held onto each other like that for several minutes. 

“Thank you.” He whispered, eyes squeezed tight shut, feeling the wetness of tears on his cheeks. 

“No, thank you.” Scott said quietly, still hugging him.

When Liam pulled back, Scott seemed concerned about him. “Did the others come?” He asked.

Liam shook his head, and Scott just hugged him again.


	16. I Need Somebody To Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josh finds out some things about Theo.
> 
> Liam tells Hayden an uncomfortable truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, so this one gets a little dark, friends. I'm sorry to any Hayden stans out there, I actually do like her, but you know... It's an AU.
> 
> That said, I truly hope you guys enjoy and as always, please feel free to leave any/all feedback!

Theo truly needed to get friends that knew how to keep a secret. Not that it was a secret really, but it sure as hell shouldn’t have come out the way it did. 

‘Sorry, I didn’t know he didn’t know.’

That was all he received from Derek by way of explanation. 

“Did you like, ever have a thing with Liam?” Josh asked the question casually, and Theo immediately knew what Derek had been apologising for. 

Instinctually, Theo shrugged and replied, “Um, no, don’t think so. Why would you think that?” 

God, Theo thought he was a good liar once upon a time. Don’t think so? It was an unbelievably bad answer and he wasn’t surprised when Josh shot him a knowing look. 

“I mean, yeah. Sort of. Not really. I, uh, I had feelings for him but he was engaged. To Hayden, actually, long story.” He paused, “But um, I told him how I felt and he turned me down. But that was a long time ago and…”

Josh cut him off, “Were you in love with him?”

Theo blinked and, figuring he owed Josh the truth, he finally nodded. The two of them were sitting in the conference room, side by side, staring directly ahead. Neither was really looking much at the other anymore. Theo was sure his silence would be enough, even if Josh hadn’t seen his nod out of the corner of his eye. 

There was a long moment of silence. “Are you still?” 

The silence was even longer, and it felt even more pregnant with discomfort and anticipation. Theo wished he could disappear into the ground and not deal with this.

Because the answer was obvious. The answer had always been obvious.

He had been trying so desperately, so consciously to distance himself from Liam. To be done with him altogether. He had been trying desperately hard to have moved on. He barely looked at him or talked to him when he didn’t have to. He barely acknowledged him at the wedding, even though he had done such an amazing job with his speech. Even though he looked so handsome in his suit. He had even made a point to tell Liam about Josh, to put a verbal and emotional distance in place.

It didn’t matter. All Theo did was wish he was still facing Liam’s desk. 

He had to still believe he could move on, because Liam was back with Hayden, and clearly they were meant to be or whatever, and Josh was a nice guy. He was funny and sweet and smart and there was absolutely nothing wrong with him. 

Theo nodded again. 

Josh got to his feet, picked up his bag and walked out. He was totally silent and calm. Theo picked up his own things and followed, ignoring the inquisitive look Liam threw him as he passed. 

What followed was a silent car ride, a silent ascent to Theo’s apartment, a silent moment as they both collected their thoughts.

Then fighting. Hours of fighting. Followed by hours of talking. They didn’t sleep at all, just sat up all night, fully clothed, having long conversations about their feelings and their relationship and whether they could make it work. Josh was far kinder about it than Theo himself likely would’ve been, but he also seemed sad, and Theo felt a great deal of guilt for that. It certainly had never been his intention to hurt the other man. 

It was nearly 5am before Josh said what Theo suspected he’d been thinking all along. 

“Maybe there’s one too many of us in Scranton.”

“What does that mean…?” 

“It means… If this is going to work, we can’t… we can’t be around Liam all the time. Maybe… Maybe we should consider asking Allison to transfer us to another branch. Maybe that’s our only hope here.”

Theo thought about it for a moment, then nodded numbly. Josh was good to him. He was a nice person, a smart person. He had moved to Scranton with Theo. While he did love Liam, Liam had made it clear that he didn’t love him the same way. It hurt, but maybe that had to be enough. If Josh wanted to go, maybe the right thing for Theo to do was to go with him. To give it a proper shot. 

When he finally got ready for work (because it was far too late to try to sleep), he checked his phone and saw the answer he’d gotten from Derek. Theo had asked nearly twelve hours ago what Derek said to Josh. It was nearly ten ago when Derek answered. That was how long they had been talking, he supposed. So long, he had totally forgotten about the art show. Could he have even gone anyway? After what had happened with Josh?

‘All I said was that I was really happy that he was here. That you’d been hung up on Liam for so long I wondered if you were ever going to get over him.’ 

Theo sighed and put his phone away. He’d been wondering the same thing himself, actually. 

*

Liam was slowly getting angry. Scott had hung up his painting of their office building and while it was an amazingly sweet gesture that meant a lot to him, it also reminded him that nobody showed up. That those who did had been critical, with Scott being the only exception. 

He’d spent so much of his life blaming himself. So much of his life convincing himself that it was all his fault, that he was the problem. 

But things had started to slowly shift in his mind. If his boss could show up and be supportive, truly supportive, why couldn’t his own girlfriend? Why couldn’t his best friend? Why couldn’t his coworkers? 

Maybe this was a sign that Theo was really done with him, but Liam was too busy feeling angry to feel sad right at that moment. He had been honest with Theo. He had tried to do the right thing, and his response was to get cut off. And while Liam understood him taking a step back, him not showing up felt like a betrayal. Maybe Liam was asking too much, maybe he was expecting too much of the people that he cared about.

For Liam, this was a big step. An effort to put himself out there, to try to be more brave. He had wound up feeling far worse from the exercise than he’d thought, and he was regretting even asking his friends to come at all. Even putting himself out there for his friends.

He felt hurt about it all, felt like he’d spent his entire life being told to come out of his shell, only to be shot down when he did. 

Still, he reminded himself that maybe they just… didn’t care. Maybe he had overestimated the friendships. Maybe what he was asking from them was a burden on them. 

When Theo entered the office, Liam stared at his desk. He stared at the papers on the desk, the boring, mundane stuff that rolled in and out of his folders day by day. 

He was still stuck in this revolving place in his head. Over and over and over again, telling himself he had a right to be upset, then devolving into feeling like no, he had no right, this was his fault and he was the one that was causing these things. 

The days had been dragging recently, and while everyone had been nice enough to him, things just felt… different. Maybe it was the loss of Theo and his relationship. Maybe it was the loss of Corey and Mason. Maybe it was just that none of them had turned up for him. But either way, things felt different, and he was feeling more detached from things by the day. 

When Derek approached his desk, Liam was surprised. “We’re all going down to the bar tonight, Poor Richards. You should come.” Liam often got invited to these things, but he rarely ever went. Still, it was almost never Derek he was invited by. The two didn’t have all that much to do with each other, past polite and civil conversations, but he liked him enough.

“Who’s everyone?” Liam asked.

“Uh… Malia, Kira, Nolan, Alec, Scott, Stiles…?” He listed off absently. 

Liam nodded, “Um, yeah. Yeah, I’ll be there.” He was still partly feeling weird about some people, but he was also lonely, and feeling disconnected wasn’t helping him to deal with anything. He had to take some control, and while a part of him wanted to confront people, ask them why they hadn’t been there for him, a larger part of him felt like he didn’t have the right. 

If they’d wanted to come, they would have. End of. 

The day kept on at the same snail, boring pace when Hayden came up. “Hey,” Liam called, brightening a little, “We’re all going down to Poor Richards later on, do you want to come with us?”

Hayden’s face screwed up in thought for a moment, “Well… I was thinking about maybe going to a bar with my sister and…” 

Liam frowned, arms folding over his chest. “Hayden. I thought we were going to start doing stuff together more. I thought you were going to do the… y’know, girlfriend thing.”

Hayden let out a deep sigh, before nodding. “Alright, alright, fine. I’ll come.” 

It felt like a small win, in a way, though the fact that her doing something he wanted to do was a win was something he knew couldn’t be healthy. Still, he was trying. He was really trying to do the right thing by people, to make things work. Liam knew he wasn’t always the most emotionally literate person, that he wasn’t always good at unravelling the knots of his own feelings. He was trying though.

There were hours between the conversation and when they finally left, but Liam hitched a ride with Malia, Nolan and Kira, who talked the whole way and mostly left him to listen. That was comfortable enough for him, he felt like he didn’t know quite what to say to either of them. 

When they got there, he and Nolan walked in together, talking vaguely about the claw machine and some of the cute toys that were inside. Liam halfheartedly commented that he liked the duck one, given that it was quite cute and Nolan suggested they have a few go’s at trying to win it.

Liam brightened a little, just glad to have someone seeming to want to spend time with him. He nodded his head and the two spent the next forty minutes trying to win the duck and failing miserably. 

The night drew on with little incident, the group of them doing shots together and just generally having a good time. They wound up playing drinking games, taking up probably too much of the already cramped and sticky bar. It seemed like Malia knew the staff there though, so they didn’t get in trouble for their general rowdy behaviour.

That, and between the lot of them, they were spending a ton on drinks.

At some point of the evening, Hayden must've joined them, but Liam couldn't really remember when. For the first time in a long time, Liam actually sort of felt like he fit in with this group of people. He was trying to forget about the art show, trying to forget about the disappointment and just have fun. He was trying, perhaps in vain, to forget that he wished Theo was there. 

That he wished Theo was there and Josh wasn't. 

He kept on drinking, kept on mindlessly going about the evening with his friends. At some point, Nolan must've actually won the duck, because he was giving it to Liam and Liam was embracing him in a warm hug. 

It wasn't long after that that Liam found himself sitting opposite Hayden, the group of them in a long line, all facing each other, playing a game which Liam couldn't for the life of him remember the name of. Hands up? Mitchell's up or... someone's name up? He was out of it, too much so, but the coin was under his hand, and he knew the aim of the game was for their entire time to try to obscure the sound of the coin hitting the table, so that the other team, and specifically Hayden, wouldn't know Liam had it. 

"Up." Derek was calling, and they all held their hands up in fists. Liam was glad he was fairly good with his hands, because he would've hated to screw their team over by dropping his coin flat on the table. 

"Down." Hayden said and Liam dropped his hands onto the table. He watched as they went along the line, tapping everyone else's hands and saying the coin wasn't under them. Liam was staring Hayden directly in the eyes, and she was smirking at him. She was onto him, and he knew it. She stared at him, then at his hands, then back up at him. 

"It's not in this one." She tapped Liam's left hand and he flipped it over. No coin. When he flipped his right hand, the other side of the table cheered brightly and Liam couldn't help but laugh along with his friends. 

Hayden had always been magnetic. She had always been like a force of nature, and Liam had always sort of felt like he was being swept up in her game.  
He always felt like he couldn't really live up to it.

She was looking him right in the eyes still, all bright grins and loud laughter. "You can't keep a thing from me, Dunbar, I can read you like a book!"

Liam's expression drooped, realising there was something she didn't know. He hadn't told her about what went down with Theo because he'd convinced himself it wasn't relevant. He'd told himself that the relationship was doomed with or without Theo, and that Theo didn't deserve to be hated for his choice to call off the wedding.

He hadn't told her because the offer was already off the table by the time he broke things off, and really, he had done it because it was the right thing, not because of Theo. Theo had been the catalyst to it, but Liam knew that he wasn't happy with her at the time.

He was trying to make things work now, trying to give their relationship another shot, and if he was going to do that, then she deserved to know.

A little while later, when things had calmed down and Hayden was blessedly separated from her sister (which rarely ever seemed to happen these days), Liam moved to sit at her side.

"So, I'm here." She told him, and Liam wondered once again if she was expecting some congratulations just for hanging out with his friends at a bar. But instead of focusing on then, he was too busy focusing on the sick nervousness he felt pushing on the inside of his stomach. Maybe he hadn't told her out of cowardice. Maybe he hadn't wanted to deal with it.

Still, he didn't want to throw Theo in it.

He was careful with his words when he spoke. "There's something you don't know."

Hayden gave him a look. "About you? I doubt that. You've always been an open book."

That only made him feel worse. He swallowed hard, forcing himself to speak, though he desperately didn't want to.

"I kissed Theo."

There was a moment of silence, and Liam went on. "It was only once, and I stopped it because I was with you, but--"

Hayden turned on him, anger taking over her tone. "Raeken made a move on you?!" She demanded, and Liam felt his pulse racing, suddenly nervous.

Hayden's anger had always been there, though somewhat under the surface. It had been directed at him before, but not like this. Not the way it was right now. She seemed to be blaming Theo, but she was turned on him.

She raised her first at him and Liam winced back.

He waited for the force of it, but instead, he heard a smash. Hayden had picked up his glass, thrown it across the bar, where it had shattered against the back of the bar with a crash.  
If anyone had been ignoring the altercation before, they weren't anymore.

Liam didn't move, didn't speak. He didn't know what to do.

"What the fuck, Liam?!" She yelled at him, grabbing another glass and throwing it over his head. It smashed against a light hanging over the bar and Liam ducked to dodge the flying glass.

Liam had always felt like it was his responsibility, when she got like this, to calm her down. He had always felt like it was his responsibility to apologise ad nauseam, to take full responsibility for whatever it was and do whatever he needed to do to calm her down.

But not now.

He couldn't do it now.

Liam shouldn't have kissed Theo, he knew that. But Hayden's rage was still terrifying, and what was more, it only brought back the worst moments of their relationship. He had been trying so hard to see the good in her, he had forgotten all the bad. He had forgotten the dismissal, the aggression, the pain of it all. But he remembered now. He remembered how she'd convinced him not to go to college, but to get a job to fund her going. He remembered how she'd convinced him not to go to art school in New York because she didn't want to postpone the wedding. He remembered how she'd convinced him to hide their engagement because it was too hard for her to deal with.

"This is over." He whispered, pulling himself to his feet.

"Oh, you fucking think?" She threw another glass, this one belonging to neither of them and Liam began to walk away, flanked by Malia and Derek, who each had an arm around his shoulder protectively, as if worried this would escalate. He didn't know how this all looked to them, but he was scared to ask.

The second he got out of the bar, the second the balmy but cold night air hit his skin, he realised he was crying. He hadn't known he was, and suddenly he couldn't be sure when he started.  
He suspected it was during the glass throwing, during the yelling. It hadn't been the first time, but Liam was absolutely certain it was going to be the last. He wasn't going to do this again.  
His heart raced and he let the others lead him around, let them put him in the car, let them take him home. Derek promised to pick him up at some point in the morning and take him to get his car from the lot, but insisted on driving him home now.

They had never been close, but suddenly Liam understood why Theo thought so highly of Derek. He was glad to have him, because he felt like he had been torn apart.

He curled his arms around himself in the car, letting tears fall, letting himself face everything that had happened over the past months. Letting himself face the last five years, and how he had allowed himself to be made small. How he had allowed himself to believe he deserved this.  
Derek or Malia asked him frequently if he was okay, and he nodded at them, but the crying didn't stop.

They both offered to stay with him if he needed, both wanted to check if any of the glass had hit him. He had a small cut on his cheek, but he hadn't even noticed it. He promised them he would look after it, make sure he was okay.

Right before he left, after Malia had gone back to the car, Derek leaned in close and asked him, quietly, whether he wanted him to call Theo and tell him.

Liam shook his head numbly, his eyes red and his head pounding. None of this was Theo's responsibility. Liam wasn't his responsibility. He was happy with Josh and he deserved as much.

When Liam was alone, he put a bandaid on his cut face, stripped down to his underwear and got into bed. He didn't bother to do anything else, didn't bother to shower or to put on pyjamas. 

All he wanted to do was sleep. All he wanted to do was to be free of this day, to be free of the painful and humiliating realisation of the relationship he had been in all this time. Free of the humiliation of everyone hearing their fight (if it could be called that, with Liam barely saying a word), just sitting there as though he was catatonic until he had left.

It took him hours to drift off, and when he did, all he could think was that maybe it was him. Maybe it was all his fault, maybe he was the toxic one.


	17. Just To Know How It Feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hayden confronts Theo.
> 
> Liam and Hayden talk some things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting towards the end now folks :') I'm a little sad to see it ending, not going to lie.
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and as always, please feel free to leave any/all feedback :)

Liam heard her voice before he actually saw her. He had been totally focused on the email he'd been sending, not paying attention to anything else in the office when he heard the stomping, then the yell.

"Raeken!"

In truth, it all happened too quickly for Liam to really realise what was going on. Maybe he should've realised this was going to happen. Maybe he should've been more careful after the way she reacted in the bar, but in truth, he'd been so busy trying to take care of himself, to block it all out. He'd spent the weekend focusing on reminding himself that he didn't deserve what had happened, that he didn't deserve the yelling or fear.

Still, if he had known. If he had had any inkling that she might come for Theo, he would've handled it totally differently. He thought back to Derek asking if he should call Theo and realised he should've said yes. He'd said no because he didn't want Theo to get dragged into his shit, but he hadn't considered that his shit might drag Theo into it all on its own.

But it all happened too quickly. She was stalking across the room towards him and he was getting to his feet. For a split second, just before she got to him, Theo's eyes flicked to Liam. 

Liam didn't have time to react, didn't have time to respond in any way, before Hayden was cocking her fist.

He barely saw the impact for how quick it happened, but he heard the crack and saw Theo drop.

Then people were moving, rushing around, he barely saw what happened except that he saw Malia grab Hayden. He saw Scott move between Theo and Hayden, followed by Stiles, people trying to mitigate any more damage. When Hayden managed to turn towards Liam, a few other workers rushed between her and him as well. Derek, Nolan, Mason.

The whole office had jumped into action, but nobody directly involved seemed to know what to do.

Theo had recovered enough to sit up, his hand clutching his jaw, eyes wide and panicked. He looked like he was in some kind of shock, like he didn't know what to do.

People were talking, asking questions, Liam couldn't make out any of the words. It all sounded furry in his ears. He could see that Derek was trying to talk to him, but no words slipped into his mind.

He thought Stiles was on the phone. Calling security maybe? Or the police? It was absolutely an assault. There were fifteen odd witnesses and Theo had a bruise forming on his face already. If Theo pressed charges, he was sure it would be taken seriously. Not to mention the fifteen odd witnesses to Hayden throwing glasses at him in the bar only a few days earlier.

Then Josh was standing between Liam and Theo and Liam couldn't even see him anymore. Josh was bent down with him, kneeling beside, trying to make sure he was okay.

Liam vaguely made out Scott telling him that the police were on their way and that he would have to make a statement. He wasn't sure how he could when he was too busy trying to calm down, too worried about Theo, too guilty about his role in all of this. He should've done better, should've warned him, should've known.

Things started to get a little bit clearer as time passed. He started to be able to talk to people. The office had been weirdly segregated since it happened, Theo, Josh, Scott, Stiles and some of the others had gone off into the conference room. They were discussing what had happened, discussing how Theo would react. In the break room, they had sat Liam down. Corey and Mason were at his sides, as well as Malia, Derek and Kira. Evidently Malia and Derek had taken on some feeling of protectiveness over Liam since the other night, because they were suddenly seeming very concerned that this might not be the first time something like this happened.

Liam, for his part, was all nervous energy and shaking. He couldn't get his sentences out without shivering. He felt almost guilty for having the reaction he did. This wasn't about him, this was about Theo. Yet, it had brought back so many bad memories. Hayden had never actually been violent with him, but the anger? The screaming? That wasn't new. It hadn't been new at the bar either, and things being thrown certainly wasn't. Whatever hint of that the other people had picked up, they weren't wrong.

"I'm fine." He managed to get out. He had no idea where Hayden was at this point, but he imagined someone was waiting with her until whatever had to happen, happened. Liam wasn't sure he really wanted to know what was going to transpire from all of this. Obviously Theo was justified in any decision he chose to make, but Liam still felt like he had no right to feel any particular way about any of it.

"Is Theo okay?" He found himself asking. He didn't know who to ask, exactly, but his eyes were locked on Derek. He figured if anyone would know it would be him, since as far as Liam knew, Derek and he were the closest in the office besides... well, besides Liam and Theo had been. But that was over now.

It was Derek who answered, obviously understanding the question was really for him. "I haven't gotten a chance to speak to him much." Derek admitted, "But nothing's broken. It's just going to be a nasty bruise."

Liam could cry. Actually, maybe he already was. He brought a hand to his face and found that, yes, he was crying. He hadn't known when he started, but if he were to hedge a guess, it would've been during the altercation. He had a tendency of doing that, not noticing until after the fact how badly it was affecting him.

"Can I see him?" Liam asked, and he heard his own voice crack, but it felt sort of detached. Like it wasn't really coming from him.

Too many looks were exchanged, and again, it was Derek who spoke. "I don't know if that's a good idea right now. Maybe after."

Liam's heart sunk, but he didn't argue back. He just went quiet, staring at the tea someone had prepared and put in front of him.

Time kept on moving, but nothing really got done. At some point police came. They were told Theo wasn’t going to press charges. They wanted to take statements anyway and the whole office had to have a small interview. For Liam’s turn, he struggled to make sense of what he was meant to say. What he was meant to feel.

Once Liam had recounted what he saw, they started asking other questions.

“She is your fiancé, correct?”

Liam shook his head, maybe too quickly. “No. She was my fiancé. I broke off the engagement in January and we later reconciled in July, but only for two weeks or so.”

The cop took notes, Liam stayed mostly quiet. “We’ve heard about the incident at the bar. Did Miss Romero have any other patterns of violent or destructive behaviour?”

Liam winced. “Not like this. The stuff at the bar, yeah, I guess.” His own voice sounded weak and quiet. He hated this.

They asked him more questions. Questions about his relationship with Hayden. About his own temperament. About his relationship to Theo. Liam had no particular trust for cops either, so he tended to want to talk as little as he could.

The idea, he supposed, of putting them all into separate rooms was to keep Hayden away from either Liam or Theo, or anyone else too close to the situation. Maybe Liam was being too generous with her, but he doubted this would happen again. Maybe he was just hoping, because this whole thing had been so painful and awful.

When she was escorted out, Liam didn't see her again, and truthfully, he was glad. People slowly returned to their desks. Not Scott, nor Theo, nor Josh. But everyone else did, even Liam.  
People were keeping a very close eye on him, he could see that. In a way, it sort of bugged him. He knew why they were doing it, but he wasn't the victim in this. Theo was. If anything, he felt he had deserved it all. He tried to just go about his work, but found that his hands shook as he tried.

After maybe half an hour of that, Scott approached him. "You don't have to work today, Liam. In fact, I think maybe you should take a few days off."

Liam frowned, "Am I... in trouble? Am I being suspended or something?" He asked, his voice betraying his confusion, maybe hurt.

Scott shook his head, looking horrified that Liam had even thought that. "God, no. I'm just worried about you and I feel like this might not be the best place for you right now with everything that's happened. We've offered Theo the same." He explained, "Obviously, this happened on company property, so we take full responsibility for it all. Our employees safety is the most important part and..." He trailed off, looking at Liam's tired face. "You know the whole spiel. What it comes down to is that I'm worried about you."

Liam nodded slowly. "Okay... Um, when do you want me to come back?" He asked, feeling weirdly insecure about leaving.

"Monday." He said finally, "Just take some time. Relax, destress. Look after yourself."  
Liam nodded slowly, his hands shaking as he went to pack up his things. He was breathing heavily, trying to figure out what to say.

"Liam?" Liam glanced back up when he heard Scott say his name again. "No one blames you. You know that, right?" His voice was soft, obviously concerned.

Liam swallowed, finding it hard to look at Scott. Or at anyone, since he figured this conversation was probably being listened in on. "Mhm." He answered, knowing he couldn't put the actual words to it. It would feel like a lie. He did blame himself, and he thought Theo would probably blame him too.

He got to his feet, collected his things and after a moment, Mason arrived at his side. "Do you want me to drive you home?" He said quickly. "I can drive your car, Corey can pick me up."

Liam really wanted to say no. He really wanted to say he’d be fine, and he didn’t want to be a burden on anyone else, but in truth, he was feeling jittery and lightheaded. He wasn’t sure driving was in anyone’s best interest. He simply nodded and both boys rose to their feet. The three walked out and Corey promised to follow behind Liam’s car, with Mason at the helm, and help him.

Liam and Mason hardly spoke on the trip, save for Liam quietly directing Mason. He’d been to his house plenty of times, but Liam wanted to be sure. When they arrived, Mason got out of the car and walked with Liam to the door. Corey followed. They didn’t ask whether they could come in and Liam didn’t comment when they did.

They made him tea, got him a blanket, and soon the three were sitting in his tiny lounge room. “Don’t you need to get back?”

Corey shook his head in response, “Scott told us we could take the day to make sure you were okay.”

Liam frowned, “Why does everyone keep asking if I’m okay? It wasn’t me she hit, it was Theo. We should all be worried about him instead.” He tried hard to sound annoyed, but he sounded more defeated.

The two other men frowned at each other. “Liam... She hit Theo, you’re right, but you spent like eight years with her. We obviously weren’t there when she freaked out at the bar, but... everyone knows. He was the victim of this situation, that’s true, but... Nobody thinks it’s that simple or that cut and dry. We’re worried about you too.”

Mason was speaking quietly, kindly, and Liam appreciated it, he really did. But he didn’t want to be pitied right now. This was his fault. Theo was hurt because of him. He wanted to be yelled at.  
Liam didn’t answer Mason’s comment, instead saying, “When you go back, can you... just tell him I’m sorry?”

The other two took that as Liam’s way of kicking them out, and frankly, they were right. He just needed to be alone.

*

Over the next week, Liam barely spoke to anyone. He got a few texts, but none were from Theo. He missed the other boy. A lot.

He couldn’t find it in him though not to say anything. He didn’t know what to say. So, in lieu of words, he drew a little cartoon, of himself offering Theo a bunch of flowers, with just the caption ‘sorry’. It wasn’t enough— but Liam didn’t know what else to do.

By the time he was supposed to return to work, Liam was dreading it. He didn’t know if people would still be weird with him or who would be talking to him. He supposed Josh would hate him now. It was a shame, because Liam had actually been on good terms with Josh. The boy had always been nice to him and Liam could appreciate that.

Still, he got in early in the morning, early enough that nobody else would hopefully be there, early enough that he wouldn’t have to deal with it.

What he hadn’t counted on was Theo and his pranks. When he got there, Theo was already there. He still had a yellow patch on his jaw, a healing bruise, but it was barely noticeable. His hair was a ruffled mess and he was yawning when Liam first caught sight of him.

“Desk in toilet?” He asked, in lieu of a hello.

Theo glanced up at him, clearly surprised to see him there. “Hey, stranger.” He said the words quietly, almost hesitantly. Liam wanted to reach out to him. He desperately wanted to hug him.

“Can I help?” Liam asked.

Theo looked at him for a moment, unreadable, then nodded. “You wanna help run the extensions in the toilet?” He asked and Liam nodded, getting to work.

It was such a dumb thing for them to be doing at nearly five am, but it had always been sort of their thing. If he was honest, he’d desperately missed doing things like this with Theo.

He wished, and not for the first time, that he had just said yes when Theo had told him he loved him. Six months, multiple altercations and a new boyfriend in between and Liam didn’t know how to hold all the regret he had.

They worked in near silence for forty minutes before Liam got the courage to speak. “I’m really sorry.”

Theo glanced up, surprised. “For what?” He asked. It seemed to hit him. “Oh. That. Yeah. It’s fine. Not like it was your fault.”

Liam frowned, “I—I really didn’t think she would... I had no idea that...”

Theo shrugged and Liam got the sense he was pretending not to care. Playing at unfazed. “It’s fine. You wanted your future wife to know the truth. I get it.”

Liam stared at him, confused. “Hayden and I— you know we aren’t together, right?” He asked slowly, “We broke up before she...” He trailed off.

“Yeah, I know.” His words seemed clipped, impatient. “But you two always seem to find your way back together. I’m sure you will again.”

Maybe he was just trying to protect himself, but Liam felt like he’d been slapped. Theo had been his best friend for nearly six years at this point, how could he be so... dismissive?

He stared for a moment, trying to decide how to feel. Angry. Sad. Hurt. Liam turned Theo down. He had no right to anything from him. Yet, Liam couldn’t understand. Theo had promised him they’d remain friends, yet he seemed to have no time for him now.

Liam ignored every part of his brain that told him to walk away, that Theo didn’t want to talk. “Theo...” He started, and when Theo kept staring ahead, Liam just closed the gap between them, hugging Theo tightly. Theo seemed not to know what to do. His body was stiff at first, unresponsive, but after a second, he hugged Liam back. They stood there like that for a moment, until Theo buried his head in Liam’s shoulder. Liam was crying again and when he whispered that he was sorry, he didn’t even know what he was apologising for. For choosing Hayden in the first instance. For not running after Theo when he called off the wedding. For telling Hayden about the kiss. For not being able to defend him. He was just sorry. Theo didn’t respond, they both just remained, unmoving, unspeaking. Liam didn’t know what Josh would think, he didn’t know anything about their relationship at all. He didn’t know if any part of Theo even retained his feelings for Liam. All he knew was that he would give anything not to have to let go.

When they did finally pull away, whatever moment seemed to have been broken. Liam wanted to take it as a sign that he hadn't fully lost Theo, but he understood that he... well, he had. Theo still cared about him, that much he felt he could ascertain from his reaction to the hug. But he was also consciously keeping a distance. Consciously putting space between them.

So that was how it would have to be. Maybe they could still be friends, but it couldn't be like it was. It hurt Liam, but he would respect what Theo wanted.

They finished the rest of the prank in mostly comfortable silence. But when they were finished, and no one else was there yet, Liam tried something. He tried just talking to him like a friend, ignoring all the context and behind the scenes drama.

"So... did you hear Scott and Allison hooked up?" He offered, by way of conversation.

"Yes!" Theo, for once, actually seemed energised to talk to him again, and Liam could almost forget. "How have we not talked about that yet? He's been so into her for like, five years, but I never thought it would happen!"

Liam breathed a sigh of relief, and let himself get swept up in the conversation too. "Why not? I mean, they're both like, nice, good looking people?" He asked, letting a laugh slip through his lips.

"I mean, yeah, but Scott's... kinda a doof. And Allison is... his boss. And an all around badass." Theo explained. Liam was laughing, and after a moment, Theo had joined him.

"You're right. He is a doof. But he's like, the most well-meaning doof ever." He grinned, "Maybe she's a doof behind closed doors too?"

Theo laughed, “Maybe, yeah. Or maybe she’s just into doofs. That’s always kinda been my type too.”

Liam raised his brows, not knowing whether he was meant to take that as a compliment or an insult or just not at all. After all, it had only been six months or so since Theo had said he was in love with Liam.

They went on talking right up til other people started arriving, and Liam was beginning to find hope that maybe if nothing else, they could return to being friends. Any hope of them finding their way back together had waned, but there was still this. At least maybe he wasn’t altogether gone. Liam hoped that maybe, if he was careful and respectful, Theo would decide to come back to him as a best friend.

Still, when Josh arrived, Theo automatically returned to the distant space they had been in before. He didn’t talk to Liam as much, returned to his state of keeping his back to Liam. Liam didn’t feel mad, because he understood, but he did wish it could change.

At some point during the afternoon, two security guards came into the office, followed by Hayden. She looked sheepish and uncomfortable, and people were clearly watching her very closely. The whole office was quiet, everyone watching, making sure nothing went wrong.

As she passed, Hayden stopped at Liam’s desk, resting a hand on it for a moment. She looked like she wanted to say something, and Liam noticed a few people around the office looking on edge, nervous about her being so close.

She didn’t speak though, simply tapped the desk awkwardly and kept walking. Liam’s head bowed and he avoided looking at her.

Still, he glanced back when out of his periphery, he saw her hold out a hand to Theo. “Um... I’m sorry, Raeken.” She said slowly. Nobody spoke or moved, and for a few moments, Theo just stood staring at her hand.

He shot a glance at Liam, only for a moment, and then took her hand, shaking it half heartedly. 

“Uh... it’s... it’s fine.” He said slowly, awkwardly.

She looked like she wanted to say more, but she didn’t, instead walking over to accounting, where Mason, Malia and Lydia sat. It clicked with Liam then that she was here to collect her last check. She’d been fired, obviously, and security was here to make sure they were all safe.

Mason stood a little in front of Lydia, as if concerned for her safety too, and held out the check to her. Hayden took it, nodded, muttered a thank you and turned to leave.

As she passed Liam’s desk again, she stopped once more, this time, looking like she was actually going to speak.

“Um, would you maybe want to have dinner with me?”

Liam must’ve looked horrified, because she rushed a follow up. “Please? We were together for eight years, I just have some things I need to say.”

He should’ve said no and he knew it. She had no right to ask, no right to expect anyone here to look on her with favour. But she was right, it was an eight year relationship. They’d lived together over four.

“Coffee.” Liam answered, his voice hushed. “In public. Just coffee.”

She nodded, and turned to leave.

When Liam looked away from her again, Theo was staring at him, his expression unreadable. 

Not for the first time, Liam felt a pang of longing. For the days of them pranking together, high fiving in mid air, talking constantly. For when Liam could draw Theo, and they talked for hours and there was no awful context points.

But Theo and Liam just looked at each other, and if there was something Theo was trying to convey, Liam wasn’t getting it. He couldn’t see any emotion in his eyes, he seemed detached. Liam himself was exhausted and worried, he had no idea what he could say to fix anything. In a weird way, he’d stopped trying.

It was nearly an hour later in the break room when Theo and Liam spoke again. Liam was eating a muffin and drinking tea when Theo entered, presumably to make himself coffee.

“Can I ask you a question?” Theo said quietly.

Liam nodded.

“How soon is too soon to move in together?”

Liam’s stomach dropped, but he tried not to let on. “I don’t really know. Are you...?” He asked quietly.

“No, no,” Theo clarified, “No. He... wants to move into my apartment building. He’s been staying in a hotel, but it just... I don’t know, it feels too soon to me.”

Liam thought for a moment. Some part of him was screaming to say no. To tell him not to get closer to Josh. But he’d already caused Theo enough pain, and if he wanted him in his life in any capacity, it would be as a friend.

“I mean, how far away is he now?” Liam asked, diplomatically.

“Like, a five minute drive.”

Liam swallowed hard and forced himself to do the right thing. “Well... I mean, it’s not that big a difference. And I imagine it would really suck being... you know, stuck in a hotel room all the time. So, if you’re happy and you want him to stay in Scranton... Don’t be an idiot. Don’t self sabotage.” He said with a small smile, hoping, really hoping, that he was saying the right thing.

Theo smiled. “Thanks.” Liam nodded and watched Theo head back out with his coffee.

*

“Hey, Limi.” The once affectionate nickname, given to Liam by Hayden in high school, felt... perverse now. Ruined. She had said the words softly, and if he had to guess, he would say her voice sounded like regret. He flinched as he sat down across from her in the coffee shop.

“Hey.” Liam returned quietly, giving back none of the same warmth. He kept his hands in his lap, as distanced from this all as he could physically be. She leaned on the table, towards him.

“I... I’m sorry, Li. I really am. I didn’t mean for it all to get so out of hand, I just... I just keep thinking about you with him and I got so angry and I...” She trailed off, shaking her head. “It’s not the point. I guess I just... thought you were really good friends or... I didn’t even know he was gay.” She admitted. None of this was the point, and Liam was still waiting for her to get there.

“I don’t want to get back together.” He said quickly, firmly.

“No, I know.” She said slowly, “I know I lost my chance. And I know I... wasn’t a very good partner to you.”

Liam stared at the table for a second. “I’m sorry about what happened too. But um... No, you weren’t.” He admitted quietly, “And I don’t like to confront people, ever, but I think it’s important for you to know, for any future relationships, that you... you can’t be like that with people. It isn’t fair to them. The damage you do, it isn’t fair...”

They sat there for a moment, Hayden staring at Liam, Liam staring at the table.

“So...” She said softly, “Are you going to like, date Raeken now?”

Liam snorted, almost as a force of habit. “No. He has a boyfriend. It was only that one kiss. Nothing else has ever happened.”

Hayden gave him a look, and he wondered how much it took for her to talk to him like this. “Come on, Li. You called off our wedding for the guy. You’ve at least gotta give it a shot.”

Liam frowned, “I called off our wedding for a lot of reasons, Hayden.”

“I know, but... you know what I mean. It just seems crazy not to even try.”

Liam didn’t know what to say, so he just stayed silent, staring at his hands in his lap.

“I’m sorry, Li. Really, I am. For what it’s worth, I really do love you.”

Liam nodded slowly. “I loved you too.” He managed, before getting to his feet, deciding it was all he could manage. “Good luck with... everything.”

As he walked away, Liam felt some kind of awful, giant weight lifted off him. The closure of being done. He thought he should be sad maybe, but he wasn’t. He was just happy for it to really, really be over.


	18. You Numbed All The Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam finally says some things that have been on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooft, I can't believe we're getting so close to the end! The next chapter will be a big one guys. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy, and as always, please feel free to leave any/all feedback!

It had been nearly a month since everything that happened with Hayden happened, and Liam was starting to feel like himself again. 

He almost felt guilty for being so happy after the end of such a long relationship, but he did feel… better. He felt a little more confident, and a little more independent. Things had gotten fairly quiet in his life, and he could be okay with that. 

Quiet was better, Liam needed the time to reflect anyway, to figure out what he wanted to do with his life now. He wanted to pursue art more, he knew that. He figured eventually, when he had the confidence, he’d contact Allison again and ask if they’d still let him do the art program. He figured when he had the courage, he’d go out more and try to meet new people. He was just trying to give himself enough time to get over everything else. To heal. To move on.

It wasn’t moving on from Hayden that was proving a challenge though, but moving on from Theo. 

He was still there everyday, the same as ever. All the things Liam loved about him were still there too. His sense of humour, the way his laugh could sometimes be more like a giggle than a laugh, how kind he was to people. There were physical things, but it wasn’t that really. After so many years of friendship, Liam could remember when he first started. Theo was sort of different then. Not as confident, maybe. A bit more grumpy. His hair was way worse. 

It was funny, Theo had once told him that he didn’t feel like many of their coworkers liked him  
much.

Liam had seen the opposite be true. Theo was effortlessly popular with people, he just had a way with them. He supposed it was probably how he’d wound up being the new manager. 

Liam got ready in silence for Beach Day. It was something they did once a year, a day everyone got dressed up, the company hired a bus and they all went to the world’s crappiest beach. It didn’t matter. It didn’t even matter that it was kind of cold. It was a chance to get away. A chance to be around his friends and not in his empty apartment. 

They piled onto the bus in silence and Liam sat alone at first. Every other year, he sat with Theo, but Theo had Josh now. He got on early so he wouldn’t have to choose if he sat near anyone or not. 

Eventually Nolan sat with him, and they spent most of the bus ride playing thumb wars. 

Liam tried not to watch Theo out of his periphery, he really tried. Problem was, Liam couldn’t stop thinking about how when all felt lost, Theo had made not one, but two last ditch attempts. He had put himself out there, risked everything. He had been totally vulnerable. In all this time, Liam had never really done the same. 

The day was always long and fun on beach day. Scott had games planned, challenges, team exercises. Liam wanted to be involved, but someone had to ‘keep notes’, so that was him. 

He watched his friends put on blow up sumo suits and wrestle each other. He watched Theo and Derek have what he could only describe as an epic gladiator battle, eventually resulting in Theo winning, barely. 

He watched Corey and Mason laugh hysterically as they tried hard to bounce each other back over the line. 

He watched Malia and Kira have a surprisingly long battle, where he thought Malia would instantly win, but Kira really held her own. 

He watched Scott and Stiles play, watched as they ended up laying on the floor unable to get up off their backs like turtles. 

Then there egg and spoon races. Games of capture the flag. Volleyball. Three legged races.

Liam could have lied and said he didn’t feel left out, but he really did. He wanted to be included so badly and while he understood why, it still kinda hurt. 

It was fun, watching his friends stumble around and make silly mistakes, but it wasn’t the same as getting to be part of the mistakes. It wasn’t the same as getting to be part of anything. But he supposed that was always sort of how Liam had felt. Like he wasn’t really part of things. Like he was always a little on the outside, just the receptionist, not really a part of the office. Maybe he’d let himself be put in that box over the years, but he didn’t want to be now.

The last thing Scott planned was a hot coal walk. It was a weird challenge, and Liam wasn’t sure it was OH&S appropriate, but people were excited nonetheless. Excited or deeply, deeply weirded out by it. 

Stiles said he was going to go, but barely touched it and decided that nope, it was stupid to purposefully burn your feet. Others just stared at it like Scott was crazy. Derek, Theo, Corey, Mason, Nolan, all just stared at it like they had no idea why they would want to. 

In truth, Liam sort of wondered why Scott had thought anyone would do it. Maybe it was just the challenge, to see how many of them would want to just to be the one who did, or maybe it was just a once in a lifetime thing. Something most people would never do. 

Eventually, after twenty minutes of staring at it, it was established that no one really wanted to do it. They all more wanted to see someone else do it.

They all went off to start a fire, to have a panic together for dinner, but Liam kept on staring at that hot coal walk. 

It was something he never would have done. Something brave and outgoing and bold. He knew he wasn’t supposed to participate, that he was meant to be taking notes. 

Still, when no one was paying attention to him, Liam snuck back over to the coal walk. He stared down at the simmering rocks, and thought about it. 

Liam had never been the person who took big risks, really. He was good at sports, which was something. He had problems with his temper growing up, which was largely how he had become so shy and introverted. He had felt so much shame for his outbursts as a young child that he had kept away from people, aggressively. Until it became hard to do anything else. Until he was scared to be around people. But mostly, that temper was a result of a childhood Liam never talked about, and though he loved his mother, there was really no love lost between him and his father.

He had never been the kid to go skydiving, or go out drinking with friends a lot. He had always been relatively introverted, because it was easier to keep himself in check that way. At some point, it just became his personality. He was sure most people he knew now would be surprised to learn how he was as a younger boy.

Still, as he looked down at the coals, he thought about how Malia had said courage and vulnerability had never been his strong suits. He thought about how he had kept the status quo out of fear. How he had been too afraid to properly go after Theo once he called off the wedding. How he’d been too afraid to ever say how he felt. How he’d been convinced not to pursue art school because someone else’s opinion had always been more important than his own. He thought about years of trying to placate and talk down someone else, years of making himself small so someone else could feel big. 

Liam didn’t want to feel small anymore. 

He walked, quickly and determinedly, across the coals. When he got to the other side, he grinned in excitement, looked around and found that nobody had seen. His feet burned, but Liam hadn’t cared, because he was so excited that he had done something like this, something unexpected. Yet, nobody had even noticed. 

He looked at Theo, talking quietly to Josh beside the fire and he thought about how Theo had been vulnerable. How he’d been honest and brave. How he’d risked everything.

“Um, I’ve got something to say.” Liam burst out, in front  
of the whole office staff. 

For once, everyone turned to look at him. 

“Um, I just ran across the hot coals. I know none of you saw, but I have foot burns to prove it.” He began, chuckling nervously, before he burst into what he really wanted to say. “Why didn’t any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you and none of you came. That was really shitty. I’ve always been there for you guys and barely any of you showed up for me. I thought we were friends.”

He rounded on Theo, “And Theo. I’m… I’m really sorry for doing this like this because… it’s awkward and… work but… Why did you cut me off? I-I called off my wedding for you and you just totally abandoned me. I know… I didn’t handle what you said the best, but… you just deserted me.” He frowned, arms folding over his chest, “And I-I know you have Josh now. And I really like Josh and I’m so glad you guys are happy, I am. But… after everything that happened between us, how can we not even really be friends anymore? I just… I miss you and I miss our friendship and… I don’t know. I guess that’s all I really had to say.”

Nobody spoke or moved. Theo stared directly into Liam’s eyes, his jaw dropped, expression unreadable. Liam wasn’t sure if he was even processing what was going on, if the look on his face was anything to go by. Josh at his side was staring daggers at Liam. Liam couldn’t blame him for that really. He hadn’t handled this well either. It had just burst out of him.

“Okay, well… I’m going to… go put my feet in the water because they really burn.” He said quickly, turning to walk away from their campfire and towards the lake.

He sat there alone with his feet in the edge for nearly an hour before Theo sat down beside him. 

“I’m really sorry for doing that.” Liam said quietly, “I mean, no, I’m not. I’m glad I said it. But I’m sorry if it was awkward for you. And for Josh.” 

Theo was silent for a moment, before he spoke again, “I’m sorry.”

Liam glanced up, surprised, “What are you sorry for?”

“A lot of stuff.” Theo admitted. “For not talking to you after you told me you ended things with Hayden. For how I handled the rejection. For being so hot and cold with you since.” It was interesting for Liam to know Theo was aware of that. “For… not knowing how bad it was.”

That stumped Liam. “What?”

“With Hayden. I knew things weren’t… good. I saw the way she spoke to you, how she talked you out of following your dream. I knew she wasn’t treating you well, but I didn’t know… I didn’t know how bad things were. I didn’t know how to help. All I could ever do was try to make you laugh, but I… I couldn’t watch you getting hurt anymore.” His voice was hushed. 

Liam nodded slowly, “I never really told anyone how bad things got.” He confessed, eyes down, “Maybe I didn’t want to admit it to myself.” 

Theo glanced up at him, his eyes looked more grey than green today, and they looked soft and concerned. More like Theo, less detached. 

“I didn’t know what to do.” He answered and Liam nodded. He understood why Theo left. Really, he did. What other options did he have?

“To be honest,” Theo added. “When I went to Stanford, I didn’t go because it was better money or because it was a raise. I went because of you.” Liam nodded. He’d figured as much. “Because my heart was broken and I thought it could never be fixed while I was watching you be with someone else. Someone who made you unhappy on top of that.” 

Theo paused for a few beats, then continued, “I didn’t think I’d ever come back here. I didn’t think I’d ever see you again. I started a new life over there and…” He wet his lips, seemingly looking for the right words. “When I came back from Stanford, I don’t know if I ever really… came back.”

Liam could understand that. Theo had been distant. It had seemed more like he was going through the motions of Scranton than anything. 

“When Allison asked me to move back, I told her I didn’t want to. She said it was that or nothing.” He sighed deeply. 

It ached to know Theo had been so desperate not to see him, but he supposed Theo had felt like he couldn’t get over it while Liam was around. That hurt, but he understood. 

“I just never really let myself come back.”

Liam thought for a moment, then he looked up at Theo. In the dark, and the distant flicker of firelight, he looked beautiful. He always did, but it was different. His hair blew in the night air and his eyelashes seemed painfully long. The curves of his face were beautiful in the light and Liam tried to commit everything he saw to memory, so he could recreate it later. 

He thought about Theo. About years and years of silently waiting for each other and not even knowing it. About a thousand pranks and days goofing off. About sunsets on the roof with marshmallows and music. How he had fallen asleep on Theo’s shoulder outside the warehouse and how when something exciting happened, the first person he ever wanted to tell was Theo.

He had fucked things up so badly, but it was nice to know that Theo understood, at least in some way, how things had affected Liam, how things had led him to acting the way he did. Leaving in the first instance had been a huge step, but plenty more had been taken since. 

Obviously those steps had been taken in the first instance for Theo, but Liam had taken a lot since just for himself. He had become more assertive and more independent just for himself. He started asking for more from the people he cared about for himself. He figured, if nothing else, he had become a better person out of it. Or at least, become a person who expected better for himself. 

If nothing else, Liam could think that this experience had made his life better. But that didn’t take away any of the ache of sitting here side by side with his best friend, wishing they were more. He thought, unwillingly, of Theo’s confession. How he had cut Liam off when Liam said they could still be friends, told him that no, he didn’t want to be friends, he wanted more than that. Liam understood now. He wanted more than that too. He always had. He had been so brave; so vulnerable.

God, Liam loved him so much. 

Liam adored him.

“I really wish you would.” He said softly.

Theo glanced up, seeming surprised by Liam’s words. “Uh, Josh feels… that maybe we… we can’t have a real life together in Scranton.” Because of me, Liam filled in silently. “We’ve both got interviews with Corporate, actually. On Monday.” 

“Oh.” So Theo was moving again. Liam felt a numb ache, and he knew it would hurt far worse when Theo was actually gone, when he was alone in his apartment thinking about it all, but he could deal with that later. He thought about how to continue, trying to find the right words when he managed, “I hope you get whatever you really want.”


	19. I Was Getting Kinda Used To Being Someone You Loved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo has to make a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second last chapter, whoop whoop! I'm not going to say anything much about the final chapter, but it's going to be a bit different.
> 
> This one is quite introspective, but I hope you still find it interesting! It's half Theo/half Liam!
> 
> As always, thanks for reading, and please feel free to leave any/all feedback!

Theo and Josh had to leave before the sun was even up to get to their early interviews in New York. Neither was particularly a morning person, so it was a difficult drive up for them.

Two and a half hours. They had asked if they could have Tuesday off so that they could spend the night in New York, and had booked a hotel room. 

Josh had been, understandably, perturbed after beach day. Theo got it, he would be too, if he was in Josh’s shoes. What Liam had done hadn’t been particularly sensitive, but then, Theo couldn’t find it in him to blame him for doing it. What he had done hadn’t been particularly sensitive either, and while Theo sort of felt guilty about the way he’d done that too, it was necessary. 

He supposed he could understand how it was necessary for Liam too. And how Liam had come to be in that situation. 

They had just kept missing each other. And now it was too late, everything had changed. Theo thought, if he was honest, maybe they just weren’t… meant to be. Maybe they were meant to be best friends. Maybe they could learn to just love each other in that way and no other. 

Theo kept on telling himself he could do that. They could be friends via the phone. They could text and let those feelings go. Or worse, that maybe the break was what they needed. That maybe Josh was right and there were just too many people in Scranton, that for the sake of all of them, it was better if Josh and Theo just left.

Theo didn’t entirely know if he was ready for that step, but he wasn’t sure what the alternative was. Josh was totally justified in asking, and Liam was totally justified in being upset that Theo had been so weird with him, and Theo had no idea what he was meant to do with any of that. 

He had put himself on the line. Again and again over years. He had put himself on the line to the point of telling Liam to his face. To the point of trying multiple times. The truth was, Theo couldn’t bring himself to blame anyone. He just felt… bad. And he had no idea what the right thing to do was.

Actually, that wasn’t entirely true. He blamed Hayden. But he hadn’t pressed charges, because to do so would be to hurt Liam, and that was never what Theo wanted out of this. The situation was complicated enough without dragging it out even longer, especially considering the harsh reality that had come with Hayden’s aggression towards him.

He had known Hayden wasn’t good to Liam, obviously. He had noticed it, in the way she had talked in front of and around him. In the realisation that they’d been engaged for years ‘in secret’. In the realisation that she had talked him out of pursuing his dreams. But this was something else entirely. When she’d hit him, he’d realised it wasn’t just… being an ignorant partner, it was something else.

He’d seen Liam shaking when it all went down and something had clicked in his mind. Maybe he would have handled things differently if he’d known earlier. 

But he didn’t, and he couldn’t go back and change things now. 

“So like, when I get the job, what are you going to do? Be my house husband?” Josh asked, a hint of a joke in his voice.

Theo snorted and shook his head, “Bold of you to assume I’m going to be a husband. I’m a sugar baby, obviously.” He joked back just as easily.

He liked Josh. He really did. They’d been together for months now, and he found that they always had things to talk about. That they always had fun games to play and that he really, genuinely liked his personality. 

The problem, of course, was that in seven odd months of dating, Theo still didn’t feel sure. He still felt like, though he liked him a lot, it just wasn’t love yet. He kept hoping that would go away, that that feeling would come. They had talked about it, Josh knew where he was at, they had had too many long conversations after Theo confessed to still being in love with Liam, and even more after Liam’s outburst at the beach. 

“But seriously… If you get the job, and I don’t… I’ll move to New York with you.” There was a pause and Theo knew what was coming. “If I get the job and you don’t, will you come with me?”

Theo didn’t know what to say, because the genuine answer was that he didn’t know. He didn’t know if he was ready to leave Scranton again. He didn’t know if he was ready to start over. He didn’t know if he was ready to leave Liam. 

He looked at Josh and he tried, really tried, to think of any good reason for or against it. Tried to think of the rational thing, of the right thing to do.

Josh was a nice guy. He was funny, understanding, smart. He was good at helping Theo with his pranks. He was tall and good looking. He seemed to want excitement out of his life and to really live. These were all things Theo could appreciate. On paper, Josh was a perfect partner to him. On paper, there was absolutely no reason not to go.

“I think so.” He finally answered, “I’d have to figure out the logistics, but I… think so.” 

Josh seemed to accept this as an answer, and Theo felt a creeping feeling of guilt. He wasn’t lying, he fully intended to go with him if it all worked out, but something didn’t feel right and he couldn’t place his finger on it.

“Good thing I didn’t end up getting that apartment, huh?” He said with a hint of a smile and Theo laughed back. They had been spending a lot of time together, but Josh had never really moved to Scranton, in the same way Theo said he’d never really come home. Maybe there was some understanding between them. Some unspoken acknowledgement that while things were they way they were, their relationship was always limited. Maybe this would unlimit it. Maybe they could focus on this and on being happy and everything would be fine.

Theo had told Liam he never really came home, and it was true. But in a weird way, he’d never really left home either. He’d been kidding himself. 

Josh and Theo made their way into the Corporate office and the two sat waiting for their interview. 

“So, are you going to resent me when I inevitably beat you for this job?” Josh teased, a smile on his face.

A fond smile pulled at Theo’s own face. “I mean, I’m not going to lose, so it’s not a problem, but I’d understand if you resented me. I’m clearly the better candidate.” He joked right back. 

Josh was called in first, and Theo was left sitting in the waiting room, phone in hand, scrolling through it. He didn’t know what to do with the time, and nothing seemed to hold his attention. It was like he couldn’t focus for his mind trying to wander somewhere else. Theo chose to ignore it, chose not to follow where it wanted to go, consciously trying to care about the Finance article he was reading. 

It was only a half hour later when Theo was called in, and he followed Allison into the room, standing straight and trying to present well, ready for the interview. 

Allison was asking him questions, how qualified he was, whether or not he thought he could handle the extra responsibility. All things Theo felt he could answer easily. The truth was, Theo sort of thought he was a natural candidate for the position. His sales record was proven, he’d helped out Stanford significantly in the short six months he’d worked there, and his sales had picked back up when he’d returned to Stanford. He’d been with the company a long time and he was young and enthusiastic.

He could tell by Allison’s demeanor that Corporate felt similarly. It felt like a formality more than anything else.

“So, Theo… You just moved to Stanford and back. How do you feel about a third move in one year?” She asked.

He shrugged, “I mean, it’s a lot, but obviously I am very committed to this company and to my career, and if this is the next step then I am absolutely willing to take it.”

She smiled, “And… oh, I did have a copy of your resume with me, but I can’t find it now. You don’t have a spare on you, do you?” She asked.

He nodded his head, rifling through the papers in his lap and finding it. 

Clipped to it, on the copies Theo had asked Liam to make before coming here, was a little set of drawings. Each was only fairly small, taking up a third of the page. It took Theo a moment to place the first. It was from Corey and Mason’s wedding. There was Theo, wearing a dark suit and a white shirt, hair falling in waves around his face. He was sitting, looking towards the table. Theo realised it was during Liam’s speech. That was the only time he’d really been sitting that way. 

They had caught eyes, Theo remembered that, but Liam had left that night with Hayden. When had he even had time to draw this? 

The second drawing was from the morning they had moved the desk into the bathroom. Theo could tell because he had come to work in a hoodie that morning and changed, since he knew he’d be spending a lot of time moving furniture for no reason for the sake of a prank. He looked sleepy, his eyes tired, his hair still a mess. 

The third was sitting by the water on beach day, after Liam’s outburst. His hair blew over his face, and he was looking up at Liam. 

Theo had missed seeing the way he looked through Liam’s eyes. It was always different. Like seeing himself as he wanted to be, rather than as he was. Seeing the person Liam saw him as made him want to be better. Smarter. Worth it. Worth being the subject of someone so talented’s work. 

He kept thinking about that art show. Ever since Liam brought it up. He should’ve been there. He should’ve gone. He kept trying to do the right thing by everyone, and that seemed like letting Liam go. He could see now it hadn’t been the right thing, and he wished he could’ve been there to support him. Liam hadn’t deserved the cold shoulder Theo had given him, but Theo had thought he was doing right by everyone. Keeping things distant so they could all move on. 

Each drawing really did capture him. He felt like he could see his own emotion in his face in each. Maybe it was just the memory he attached to each day. Liam really did have a talent for that. For capturing whatever it was that made Theo, Theo.

The longing he’d felt at the wedding. 

The sad, exhausting confusion he’d felt when they’d moved the desk.

The concern and guilt by the beach. 

Underneath all three drawings was a little scribble in Liam’s handwriting. It had always been messy, but Theo knew it like the back of his hand. 

‘I believe in you’. His own words, written back to him, nearly eight months later. 

He swallowed hard, feeling a lump gathering in his throat. He pulled the drawings off the resume and handed the resume to Allison, keeping the drawings in his lap. Like hell would he be getting rid of those.

As it happened, one of his stupidest regrets was giving those drawings back to Liam at all. He found himself craving to look at them often, but never could. He didn’t have the heart to ask Liam for them back, and ever since then, as far as he was aware, Liam hadn’t done any more of him. To find out he had, and at such emotionally heightened moments… It made Theo’s heart hurt.

What was more, the writing. It was just four words. Only four words that seemed to mean so much. It was what Theo had written after Liam had said he wasn’t doing the art program because it wasn’t realistic. It was what Theo had written right after Theo had asked Liam if he was happy with his choices.

A few phrases passed between them repeated in Theo’s head, banging over and over again, shouting at him.

‘You were right. I’m not happy with my choices. I left Hayden.’

‘I am perfectly fucking happy with my choices!’ ‘Are you?’

‘I believe in you.’

* 

So Liam was going to have to live in the reality of Theo leaving. He told himself he could do that. He told himself he could live that way, he had done it before. 

He knew he would be fine, he’d become far more self-sufficient and even learned to enjoy his own company a lot more after the last few months. It had taken some time and some energy, but he had gotten there. Learned to be more self contented.

Still, it wasn’t about knowing he could be happy without Theo. It was knowing he didn’t want to. It was knowing that the happiest he’d ever been was when he was with Theo, and they hadn’t even been together. It was knowing that he deserved to be happy, and that he deserved to be with someone who actually loved him, and that he wanted to be with someone who would appreciate his love. 

People had been giving him shit all day, making jokes about him outburst at the beach, telling him that they missed his friendship and other mocking things. Liam didn’t mind, in a way, it was easier for them to do that than be awkward with him, and he could handle the ribbing. Maybe once, he might’ve struggled more, but the thing was, Liam wasn’t embarrassed. He wasn’t ashamed.

Regardless of what anyone said, he was proud of himself. It had taken a lot for him to put himself out there in that way. 

Everyone knew Theo had feelings for Liam, and Liam had rejected him. Now everyone knew Liam felt the same way, and Theo had rejected him right back. Even if they never saw each other again, Liam felt like he’d made right his past mistake. He felt like he’d put them back on an even playing field, that he’d shown the same willingness to cop the vulnerability in the chin, if it meant the chance to be with each other. 

Still, it had been hard to know Theo was going off on another job, with his boyfriend.

The drawings he had given were a sort of peace offering. A promise that they were still friends, no matter where Theo went in his life. He had no interest in trying to put space between them, trying to buffer the rejection he felt, because he had realised his life was just better with Theo in it, rejection or no. It had also been a recognition of Theo’s support for him over the years. A way of giving it back. If this was what Theo wanted for his career, then he should have it.

He didn’t know if he’d overstepped the line by including the drawings, especially after Theo gave all of them back to him, but it felt like the right thing to do somehow. 

Maybe Liam just wanted Theo to know he still thought of him. 

As the day dragged on, Liam wound up sitting in the break room, surrounded by most of the staff. They didn’t all fit in there to sit, but if people sat on tables or stood, there was enough room.

It had started with Liam, Corey and Mason, quickly followed by Derek, then Malia, and soon the whole office was in there. People leaning against walls, sitting on benches or sitting on the few tables they had set up. In a way, Liam was glad. 

Part of him suspected this was a show of support. The whole office had borne witness to what had happened, to all of it. To it coming out Theo had feeling for him, to him leaving and then returning to Hayden. Most of them had seen her violent outburst both at the bar and in the office. Then Liam’s outburst at the beach.

Maybe, he thought, his comments about feeling like his friends had treated him like shit had actually gotten through, maybe they really were trying to help him. Honestly, he appreciated it.

The group of them ended up playing a game throwing a ball of rubber bands around, trying to see how long they could go without dropping it. It was always Stiles or Nolan who dropped it, and everyone would laugh and boo and cheer and they would start over, see how long they could go.

It was getting later in the day. There was an unspoken countdown, knowing that they would likely at some point find out more about the interviews. Both had Scott as a reference, so assuming one of them was a shoe-in, Scott should hear something soon. As it wore on, he could see people trying to check their phones more often, could see people shooting Scott looks. And, worst of all, got sympathetic looks shot in his direction. 

Liam realised, as awkward as it was, he liked it far better this way. He liked not being secretive, not being closed in. He liked feeling like the people who cared about him knew who he actually was, and he was glad not to end up with more secrecy and repression. 

Finally, when five o’clock had past, and some of the less involved coworkers started to dribble off to go home, someone mentioned the elephant in the room.

“Have you heard anything from him?” Derek asked, and Liam shook his head. They all looked to Scott, who did the same.

“How do you feel about it?” Mason asked, his voice obviously sympathetic, but trying not to sound like it. 

“I mean…” He glanced up, finding the eyes of Mason, Corey, Scott, Stiles, Derek and Malia staring back at him. His friends, he realised. The people who had decided to stay here to make sure he was okay, to try to keep him company. The people who had listened when he’d asked why they didn’t show up for him (though, in fairness, Scott had). 

“It hurts.” He admitted, “And I wish it was different, but… Maybe he and I were really only ever meant to be friends. Maybe that’s just… maybe that’s just how it was supposed to be. And yeah, that sucks, and I wish it was different, but… We just missed our chance. I was taken when he was free and he was taken when I was and… You know, sometimes people just… miss each other. But we can stay friends. I’m sure we’ll stay friends.”

He gave a sort of water-y smile, maybe trying to convince himself as much as them that he was fine with this.

“I guess--” He began again, but he was cut off by the break-room door swinging open.

“Liam?” The voice asked. Liam watched as Theo looked around the room, his eyes locking on Liam’s. He was breathless, and his face a little red, like he’d been running. “Um, sorry guys, but uh… are you free tonight?” 

Liam blinked, confusion wrapping over his face. “Yes?” He said, his voice brighter, but almost a question. Confused.

“Great. Do you want to go out for dinner tonight?”

“Yes.” Liam answered again, more resolute this time.

“Great. It’s a date.” He turned around, as if to leave and Liam felt overwhelmed with confusion.

“Wait--” Liam stood up, confused. “The job?”

“I asked for my application to be withdrawn.” 

“Josh?” Liam’s voice sounded small, scared almost, but on his face was a bright smile. There were tears in his eyes, but he couldn’t stop smiling.

“Um…” He looked around at everyone, apparently deciding he didn’t care who knew now. So much of this all had been too public already. Besides, Theo couldn’t pull the smile from his own face either. He was still breathless, red faced, his hair obviously windswept, but he was grinning. “Josh is a really great guy. He’s uh, such a great guy that he understood that I couldn’t be with him while I was already in love with someone else.”


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peek into the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh! I can't believe this is actually finished! 
> 
> It is 2am and I did stay up on my birthday because I wanted to post the very last chapter on my birthday, so that's where I'm at with my obsession with this story.
> 
> I really hope you guys like the ending and feel that I did it justice. As always, please, please feel free to leave any/all feedback.
> 
> If you've gotten this far, thank you so much for coming along with me, it means the world to me, I really hope it lived up. Thank you!

“I truly don’t know what I said.” Theo’s brows were pulled together and he was looking at Liam with an expression that could only be defined as guilt and concern. 

“Well, I don’t know what you said either, but he said it was something you said.” Liam insisted.

They were standing in the break room, facing each other. Nobody else was around, which was good for such a sensitive conversation, because Liam didn’t necessarily want everyone hearing what they were arguing about.

The two didn’t argue often, and in nearly a year of dating, people had gotten used to seeing them around together. Over time, the pranking had returned to normal, people got used to seeing Theo spending every spare moment at Liam’s desk, the two grinning at each other like high school kids, like puppy love. 

This was different, because they were almost never at odds like they were now.

It wasn’t even that they were angry at each other, they were both just… stressed. Worried.

Liam’s stepdad -- more like his dad, for all intents and purposes -- had been staying with Theo for a few days now. There wasn’t enough room for him to stay with Liam, and the two hadn’t yet moved in together, so Theo had offered to take him in.

Him and Liam’s mother had been fighting for a while, apparently, and they were trying to work through things.

Only, when Liam’s stepfather had called him this morning to talk, he had told him that he was going to start looking for his own place, going to start working out the divorce papers.

Liam didn’t really understand. They had always seemed… happy together. It had been a good seven years since Liam lived with them, and granted they were both constantly working, but they were never fighting or anything. So to hear that his father was moving out was a shock.

Worse though, was the admission that it was something Theo had said that made him decide to leave for good.

He kept asking Theo, and Theo kept saying he had no idea what he’d said to him to make him want to leave. He said he had been supportive, that he had tried to talk to him about pushing through it to get to the right person. He said he had only said positive things.

Liam was afraid. Afraid of what Theo might have accidentally let slip. Afraid that if Theo had said something that would make his father want to leave his mother, what would happen if Theo said that same thing to him?

Or even began to think that way himself?

It wasn’t that Liam couldn’t deal with the thought of his parents splitting up, exactly. They were both good people, and he was sure he’d maintain contact with both, but he didn’t understand what Theo had to do with it, and that scared him. He was an adult, he could understand that sometimes things didn’t work out. But people didn’t usually tell you your boyfriend of a year was the reason for your parents’ breakup. 

Liam saw himself out into the hall on his lunch break, the same staircase he’d once sat and sobbed over Theo in, and called his father.

“Hey, Li.” He said as soon as he picked up.

David was his stepfather, technically, but Liam didn’t think of him like that. His actual father had been a horrible person, and hadn’t contributed in any positive way to Liam being as reserved and nervous of people as he was now. 

“Hey, Dad,” He said quietly. “What’s-- what’s going on? Theo said that you said you were leaving… What happened?”

The other end of the phone was quiet, and Liam was afraid of where it was going. Of what he was going to say.

Over an hour, and a tough conversation later, Liam made his way back into the office. Theo looked up immediately, his expression stricken, burdened with concern. Maybe he thought Liam would end things now, maybe he just felt bad that he might have broken up Liam’s family. He didn’t know. 

Liam walked directly into the breakroom and Theo followed after him, seemingly taking the cue to have a conversation about what had happened.

“What happened? Was it my fault?”

Theo asked, his eyes wide, filled with panic. Liam had tears in his eyes, and he was shaking, and Theo seemed to be responding to that. He had his hands on the tops of Liam’s arms, gentle and caring. Liam had never really gotten used to how attentive he was. A part of him still waited for the other shoe to drop. 

He had thought maybe this was it.

“Yeah, it was your fault.” Liam said, his voice small and emotional.

Theo’s expression fell, looking totally crestfallen, totally devastated. “Li, I am so sorry, I swear to you, I didn’t--” 

“He said… He said you told him how you felt about me. How much you love me and how you never doubted for a second that I was the man you wanted to spend your life with… He said he told him about how… even when I was with Hayden, part of you knew you couldn’t ever give up on me…” Theo’s expression had shifted, still confused, his eyes wide, as if trying to figure out what he’d said that was so bad. “I guess… my dad never felt that way about my mom. Even on their best day.” 

Realisation dawned over Theo’s face and he stared at Liam in shock. The concern was still present, but he seemed somewhat relieved that what he’d said wasn’t something horrible or wrong.

Liam, for his part, felt overwhelmed, not with fear or anger anymore, but with love. He had spent so much of his life believing that he would be lucky to get anyone, that he was someone that would always be punching up, that he could never deserve to be treated the way Theo treated him. He had spent so much of his life feeling like love didn’t really exist, or like it was something that was made out to be so much greater than it was.

But then here was Theo. Theo, with his beautiful eyes, and his effortless wit, and his loyalty, and his cleverness and all the things that Liam had come to love about him. He always waited for the other shoe to drop, and it never did. Every time he thought Theo would run, with every bout of uncontrollable emotion, or every panic attack, he always wondered if this would be the time Theo ran. But he never did.

Come morning, he was always still there, asking if Liam was alright. 

“Are you alright?” Theo whispered, his voice completely gentle, barely a whisper.

“Yeah,” Liam nodded his head a little too heavily as tears began to fall. Theo took a step forward and pulled Liam into a tight hug, which Liam collapsed into easily. He wrapped his arms tightly around the slightly taller man, balling in his fists in Theo’s shirt and holding him closely. Neither let go, both holding the other fiercely, as if they were both unwilling or perhaps unable to let go.

After all they had been through, both of them were still constantly feeling like they had to hold onto the other. As though either might just be the luckiest person in the world. 

Liam had never felt so convinced love was real. 

After what felt like an hour of staying like that, but was probably mere minutes, Liam heard Theo whisper in his ear.

“Marry me.”

“What?” Liam pulled away slightly, keeping his arms around Theo but wanting to see his eyes.

They were clouded and glossy with tears. Liam looked for some sign of a joke, any sign of a joke, but there was nothing.

“What are you talking about?” He whispered, “That’s not a funny joke.” And he couldn’t help but feel that it was. After all, the last time he had been engaged, it had been him who proposed, and he had been convinced to hide it for multiple years. This, a spontaneous proposal in the breakroom, seemed like a cruel joke, almost. In Liam’s mind, it couldn’t possibly be true.

“I’m not joking,” Theo said, reaching into his pocket and producing a box. 

He held it out to Liam, who’s eyes were wide, almost seeming horrified. Maybe it was because part of him still couldn’t believe this was real. Why did he have a box? Where had he produced a box from? He couldn’t have possibly known any of this was going to happen, he hadn’t known Liam’s Dad would leave his Mom.

“I don’t understand.” Liam whispered. Theo opened the box and inside was a ring. It was simple, a gold ring, smooth and mostly plain, but with words engraved on it. Four words. I believe in you. 

Tears were falling down Liam’s face, but his eyes were still wide, and he still looked mildly afraid. As though he still wasn’t really processing what he was seeing.

“I don’t-- I don’t understand, where did you get this from?” He asked. He hadn’t even had an inkling that Theo was considering proposing, and based on how it had happened, he didn’t feel like Theo could have possibly either.

Theo stared into his eyes, and when he spoke again, his voice broke. They were as emotional as each other, it seemed.

“I didn’t know I was going to do it today.” He said quickly, as if reading Liam’s thoughts, “But I… I bought this a week after we started dating.” He whispered. “I just… I’ve always known it was you, Liam.” 

Liam stared, clearly trying to sort through the millions of emotions rushing around in his head. Then, a huge, bright smile pulled across Liam’s face. A matching one lit up Theo’s next. They were both still crying, and it was a watery sort of thing, but Liam was nodding and Theo was laughing, all emotion and joy. 

Theo slid the ring onto Liam’s finger and Liam threw himself back into Theo’s arms. He stumbled back a little, but caught himself -- and Liam -- and the two stayed there like that a few moments longer, just crying and holding each other tightly, whispering again and again that they loved each other. 

It took a few minutes for the two to get it together, both grinning so hard they couldn’t stop.

When they returned to the bullpen, they both looked like messes. They had both been crying for several minutes now, both red cheeked, both unable to stop the too bright, too big grins on their faces. 

It was Mason who noticed it first.

“Wait a second, is that--?” He had the eyes of a hawk, because he saw the ring from across the room. Probably the state of them had tipped him off to look at all. 

“Um, yeah.” Liam said, glancing up at Theo. They met eyes, and the two just grinned brightly at each other, like nothing in the world could possibly ruin the moment. 

People were calling out congratulations or cheers, most of the office feeling as though they were privately involved because of all that had happened in the world, and people started moving to congratulate them.

Only Scott was late to the party and, upon hearing a commotion, exited his office to see what was going on. 

“What’s happening?”

It was Derek who answered. “The boys got engaged.” 

Scott looked confused for a second, then locked eyes on Liam and Theo, saw their giant grins and tear stained cheeks. His eyes flickered down to Liam’s hand and then he took off running, crashing Theo to the ground in a giant hug. Liam was glad he got his hand away in time to avoid going down too.

People were laughing, but Liam was just staring at them in shock. And all this time, he had thought Theo didn’t like Scott that much.

“I knew it! I knew it first and I told you not to give up on him!” He said quickly, excitedly. 

“Wait, Scott knew first?” Liam asked, genuinely curious.

“Technically, I did.” Derek chimed in.

“He told me first.” Scott argued.

Theo nodded, “I told Scott first. After the basketball game. Derek’s just the most observant.” And his closest friend, but no one added that bit. It didn’t need to be said. 

“You told Scott after the basketball game?” Liam knew, logically, that that made sense. He knew Theo had been in love with him for years before his confession. He knew people knew about it, that it went around the office and that was why Theo had told him he’d had a crush on him in the past. But objectively knowing something was different than really believing it, and a part of Liam still couldn’t believe that Theo had loved him all that time, and Liam had spent so much of it feeling undeserving of love. 

“Yeah,” Theo admitted, getting back to his feet after his tackle hug. “I was upset about it all and she had stormed off and Scott thought I had feelings for her,” He scoffed, “I told him I was in love with you. He told me not to give up.” He gave Scott a kind of fond smile, and Scott looked incredibly proud.

*

Liam and Theo didn’t actually get married at their wedding. 

It was a whole debacle, thing after thing going wrong. Their officiant had gotten stuck outside the city. Liam’s tie had been ruined at the dry cleaners. One of Theo’s shoes had been eaten by a family dog.

The whole thing was unnecessarily dramatic, but that had been their way up until now. 

And so, with no officiant and no good plans, the morning of their wedding, Liam and Theo went running together (Liam without a tie, Theo without a shoe) to find someone else who could do it. They found an officiant who was marrying another couple on the beach, who said they could give them a quick ceremony, if they got there on time.

The two ran, literally ran, on their wedding day to the beach. They had decided they were getting married, come hell or high water, so they got their certificate, and they got a random person on the beach to witness them, and they stood, in the sand, hair messed up from the wind and outfits looking a mess, Theo’s arm over Liam’s shoulder and Liam’s arm around Theo’s waist, and just stared at the water. As husbands. 

They agreed that they were still going to have the wedding. That Theo would go barefoot if he had to and Liam didn’t care if he had a tie. They would simply ask someone to act as a pretend officiant, so that their families could bear witness and they could still have the wedding they had planned.

Everyone from the office had been invited, and while Corey and Mason stood beside Liam at the altar, Derek and his sister stood beside Theo. They both decided they didn’t care about how it looked or what numbers they were meant to choose. They just wanted the people they loved there. They just wanted it to be perfect.

Perfect for them wasn’t perfect suits or perfect hair. Perfect for them was each other, their families, and the chance to finally be together, as they had always wanted. 

The ceremony was quick and informal, and soon, they were back to the reception. 

Like Corey and Mason before them, they danced into the room. Liam returned the favour by having them dance to ‘I’m Sexy and I Know It’ and for Theo and Liam’s part, they danced to the tune of ‘Accidentally In Love’ and had no great trouble in dancing together, as ridiculous as possible, all affection and grins and joy. 

There were many speeches, but two in particular that stood out to Liam.

One was Mason’s. 

He had stood up, a glass of wine in his hand, a microphone in the other, and he was a natural. 

“Liam, buddy, I’m here as your best man, but I’ve actually known Theo longer,” Liam smiled and he heard people laugh. The good thing about wedding audiences was that they wanted to have a good time, “You know, when I first met you, I remember thinking there was no way you were as genuine as you seemed. You just came across as this really good, really nice person. I thought it had to be fake. You know, you can’t be that good looking and be nice. But then I saw you draw and I was like, oh shit, this guy is just one of those people. But the weird thing about you, Liam, is that you never saw yourself that way. 

“I suspected for a while Theo thought the same. First of all, because as Derek so affectionately put it once, Theo played a game of Theo-pong, where he ran back and forth between your desk and his desk fifteen times a day, at minimum. It was cute in this sort of weird, sickening way, and you guys definitely had some drama getting here.

“But you also told me once that you hoped eventually to have a love like the one I have with my wonderful husband Corey. The thing is, even when you said that, I knew you already had one. You and Theo, you were just… you were always perfect for each other. You fit together, finish each other's' sentences and each other’s’ pranks. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think you were absolutely perfect for each other. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t incredibly relieved you finally got your shit together and got together.

“So today, at this most happy, wonderful day, I have two things to say. The first, is that I could not possibly be happier for either of you, and I’m so glad to have gotten to return the favour. The second… is where the hell are Theo’s shoes?”

Everybody was laughing, and Liam was a bit emotional, Theo was calling out something about a dog eating his shoe and how it was okay because he had black socks on and Liam was glad his wedding had taken on such a festive, homely tone. He loved that they could joke, loved that his friends felt they knew him enough. It was all he ever wanted, this level of happiness. This level of belonging. Not just with Theo (though that was the main part), but also within this group of friends.

The next was Theo’s speech. They hadn’t done much in the way of vows, so Liam was pretty sure Theo had a lot to say. Theo always had a lot to say.

When he stood, he smiled around at everyone.

“Thanks everyone, for being here for myself and for my husband. Everyone we invited is here because we love them, and because we thought they were special enough to play $150 per head for.” People laughed, and Liam looked up at his partner with adoration. “I’m incredibly grateful to you all for being here, but I also don’t want to lie to anyone about the events of today’s… well, wedding.

“So, on behalf of myself and of Liam, I have to let you know… We actually got married a few hours before the ceremony today. Our officiant wasn’t able to get here, and the only one we could find was a brisk walk in a wedding tux away on the beach, so we took our chance and ran. I could say that that was Plan B and that we were just working things out, but that’s not… entirely true. Because getting married alone on the beach without my shoes was actually Plan C.

“See, today, this wedding was Plan B. Plan A… Plan A was marrying Liam a really, really long time ago. Like, almost as soon as I met him. Obviously almost everyone here knows my husband, but I still… want to say a few things about him. He is… perhaps the best person I have ever met. Aside from being funny, smart and incredibly kind, my husband is a wonderfully talented artist. When we first met, I sort of didn’t like him. Of course, my problem was that I didn’t like him because I really, really liked him, but I didn’t know that then. 

“Still, I remember one day, Liam gave me this drawing. It was of me. I remember looking at and feeling something shift inside me. I didn’t know it then, not consciously, but I think that was the moment I fell in love with him. I had never liked myself more, than when I saw myself through his eyes. I had never liked the world more than when I saw it through Liam’s eyes. He had this incredible talent for making the world seem… brighter. For making the world seem better. He had this incredible talent for putting me in a good mood even when I was shitty. For making me want to try harder. For making me want to stand taller.

“As you all know, Liam and I worked together. We sat thirty metres from each other and yet we took six years to get to each other. To this day, I sometimes feel a little sad thinking about all the time we could’ve had together. And ever since then, any time I tell someone this story, about the love of my life I met one day at work, they ask me the same question.

“People thought I was crazy. They thought I was crazy for waiting so long for a boy who worked with me. A boy who was engaged to someone else. A boy who had never shown any romantic interest in me. And maybe they were right. Maybe I was absolutely crazy. But I think I knew, even then, that I was waiting for my husband.

“And no matter what else happens in this life, I will never, ever regret waiting for my husband.”

*

“We have to go now,” 

“No, we need to talk about this.” 

“No, we don’t, we need to leave.”

“It’s just my sister, love, she’ll wait.” 

Liam stared at Theo, blue eyes wide and annoyed. “I didn’t tell you about it because we’re not doing it. It’s too much. We’d be uprooting our family for something that might not even work out. And there’s no guarantee you’d be able to get a job up there and--”

“Our family will be happiest where we are all happy.” Theo said quickly. “Lydia’s only four and--” 

“And she starts school next year. She has friends.”

“Liam, honey, you’re making excuses. She won’t even remember her friends in two years. This is what you’ve always wanted. This is an incredible opportunity. This is art, full time, all the time.”

“I can’t uproot our whole family to pursue a silly art dream.”

“It’s not a silly art dream,” Theo said, sounding a little annoyed now, taking his hands. “Look at me, Liam.” Liam sighed, but looked up into his husband’s eyes. “Lydia loves you, and she will want to go see Daddy’s big mural in New York City. She will want to see all the amazing things you do. I want to see all the amazing things you do. Why are you really fighting me on this?”

Liam stared at the ground for a moment, his blue eyes filled with concern. 

“We have a life here. A house, a child. Our friends. Our jobs. How can I ask you, either of you, to uproot that for me?” He paused and after a moment, he added, in a quiet voice. “What if in five years, you end up resenting me? You’re giving up your life here for me and… what if I’m not enough?”

Theo’s eyes softened, and he squeezed Liam’s hands, pulled them to sit beside him on the couch. Liam did so. “Dunbar, how can you still think you’re not enough for me? After everything we’ve been through? We’ve been married six years… You know how much I love you.”

Liam nodded slowly, “I know but…”

Theo looked hurt for a moment, and he got to his feet. “Wait here for one second. Promise me you won’t move. Or spiral any further.”

Liam nodded, and remained sitting in place, waiting for Theo to return from whatever he had needed to do. After a moment, he returned.

“Do you remember the blue teapot I gave you? The Christmas before we got together?”

Liam nodded, confused. “Yeah. It’s in the kitchen. Your yearbook photo is in my wallet. Why?”

“When I gave you that teapot… It had something else in it. Something I didn’t give you. It had a letter. I got scared when I saw you opening the teapot and I stole it back, so you wouldn’t read it.”

Liam’s eyes widened in shock. “What? How did I not see?”

“You were busy laughing at my fifteen year old hair.” Theo joked, shaking his head. He reached into his back pocket, pulling out an envelope, which looked a little faded, but fine.

He saw his name in Theo’s handwriting and he opened it.

As he read it, tears began to well in his eyes. It was pages long, and Liam didn’t think he was capable of loving Theo any more than he already had. But he did now.

He felt so much love he thought he might burst. So much love he wondered how he could’ve ever doubted it.

All this time, this letter had existed and Liam had never been allowed to read it.

“You really think you’re not enough for me?” He asked, a sort of disbelieving laugh in his voice. “Liam… you are… everything.” 

Liam was crying, tears dripping off his chin onto their hands, which gripped each other tightly. 

“I wish I had known.” He said softly, “I wish I had seen this.” He mumbled. The letter would be his most prized position, the thing he loved most in the world besides his husband and daughter. 

“My heart has always been yours.” Theo said softly, “And I want to go to New York with you. I want to see you finally pursue your dream.”

“And you’re sure?” 

“I believe in you.”


End file.
